God, when he used to say, “If we only had tonight, would it be worth it?” I always said yes, without hesitation. Because it was the truth. The idea of living a whole life, never knowing what it’s like to be loved by him, even for the tiniest moment, seemed tragic. Not a life worth living. But there’s a flip side to that. Now I know what it’s like without him. What life feels like because I had him. And it’s worse. If I’d never known what his lips felt like, I wouldn’t beg God to let me forget. Or if I’d never felt what it was like to be safe in his arms, I wouldn’t hate the feel of my own
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