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“I said, ‘Men are like fish,’ Roman Wolfe. ‘The great ones devour the small.’” She stops in front of me as my chin drops so that I can see her. “And which are we?” “You are the madness he creates. You are the great fish. But Calder”—she shivers—“he’s the ocean, and he’ll swallow everyone whole. This is the last time I will speak his name. Because to say it calls to evil. But you are wrong. Death isn’t waiting for Calder. It’s listening for his instruction.”
My eyes close, wishing for the darkness I felt before to come again and take me away. My lips part, whispering the words I know he’ll never hear. “It was all worth it. You are mine, and I am yours.”
I hope the heavens fall to earth and the devil rises to imprison it here. Because there are no stars and no purpose. Without Calder, nothing exists.
“The day Calder comes will be everyone’s reckoning. And I won’t even pray for your souls.”
All we have is death and destruction. A life sentence, forced to survive within the absence of our love.
“I thought I’d lost you, Calder. I was so scared.” I grip the nape of her neck, pulling her forehead to mine, hating how strong she had to be as I grit my words out. “Not even death, baby. Not even then.”
“I would wade through hell to be with you, Calder. No matter how long it takes.”
There is no fucking difference between where I begin and you end. Not now, not ever. So we’ll do what we have to so that we survive until we’re together again.”
Soul mate would be the easy word, but what I feel is deeper. I recognize my soul in her. Like it’s split between us, and we’re only whole when we’re together.
Calder’s traded his soul for me—for us. And I love him more for it.
If I’d never known what his lips felt like, I wouldn’t beg God to let me forget. Or if I’d never felt what it was like to be safe in his arms, I wouldn’t hate the feel of my own hands. It’s not that I only want him. I need him. Like the fucking air to breathe. But I need all of him, not just a piece, because that could never be enough.
The way she’s looking up at me—she looks just like heaven and I can’t fucking wait to show her how fun sinning like hell is.
