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Stoicism was founded by Zeno of Citium in the city of Athens
Stoicism can be practiced by us today in different degrees. Some might argue that one has to become ‘a Stoic’ and live the philosophy to the smallest detail. This is a noble endeavor. But in my experience one doesn’t have to follow Stoicism religiously to experience the benefits of what it teaches.
Nevertheless, it’s not a substitute for professional mental help where needed.
The Stoics have answers to these enduring questions, but they’re hidden and spread out across different texts and fragments that date from 300 BC. Even though Seneca’s moral letters come close to my demands, I figured that we need something newer, simpler, more concise and to the point.
Emperor Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful man on earth.
Even though he was conscious of the fact that momentary pleasure was available to him in abundance, he turned away from excessive carnal pleasures, indulgent wine consumption, and the sick sadistic sequences in the colosseum where the Roman elite went for entertainment. This was in stark contrast to his son and successor Commodus, who was infamous for his cruelty, and eventually cared more for hunting and gladiators than the affairs of state.
The Stoics of ancient times observed that from the human perspective two categories can be distinguished: things that we do not control and things we do control.
the Enchiridion,
that most things are simply not up to us.
Do we actually control these things? Yes, we can influence them. But, even if we do everything right, the economy can still collapse, our money can be taken from us, and our intimate partners can cheat on us or die.
But don’t worry. There are still aspects of our life that are up to us. Among them are the opinions we form, the decisions we make, or, simply put, our actions. What happens around us is not up to us. The position we take towards the outside world is up to us. Epictetus emphasizes that our focus should lie on the things within our control, while maintaining a contempt for the things not in our control.
Staying calm during adversity, and letting go of the results, may come across as indifferent. However, this tranquility helps us to act in agreement with reason, instead of being overwhelmed by emotion.
So, is Stoicism about eradicating emotion? Contrary to popular belief, this is far from true. The ability to feel is part of human nature as much as the ability to reason. Reason can trump emotion to a large extent because it allows us to choose how we handle emotions that arise involuntarily. Will we let emotions take over?
Stoics believe that ‘virtue’ is the highest good, and also follow the idea that virtue is according to nature: living virtuously is what we’re designed to do.
praemeditatio malorum (negative visualization)
memento mori
Another exercise is called the ‘view from above’ in which we see ourselves from a cosmic viewpoint. This way, we realize how small and unimportant we are compared to the vastness of the universe.
Life is short. That’s why it’s important to channel our life energy towards essential and important things and leave unimportant things be.
Excessive worry about the future causes a very undesirable experience called anxiety.
Modern Stoics have a simple but very effective trick to ease this anxiety: amor fati. This Latin phrase means ‘love of fate.’
German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, although he rejected Stoicism, described amor fati as his formula for greatness: “..that one wants nothing to be different, not in the future, not in the past, not for all eternity. Not only to endure what is necessary, still less to conceal it, all idealism is falseness in the face of necessity, but to love it.”
When obstacles of great significance appear in our lives, this most likely leads to drastic change. This change is most worrying for the anxious part of ourselves, especially because the human mind tends to judge change within a spectrum of two opposites, desire and aversion.
You can influence these things in part. For the most part, though, you cannot. The underlying truth is that the future is beyond your control. The problem of the anxious part of ourselves is that it’s a control freak.
Amor fati doesn’t mean that we should sit in an armchair all day letting life pass by. It means that we make the best of every moment as far as fate allows it. It means that we work towards our goals, give them our all, but, when the results turn out to be different than expected, fully embrace and accept our fate.
When we embrace whatever happens, what could go wrong? Nothing. And amor fati creates just that. When things can’t go wrong, there’s nothing to worry about. When there’s nothing to worry about, the fear of the future won’t sap our energy and make us feel miserable. By unconditionally embracing our destiny, we have nothing to fear.
Unoffendable: The Art of Thriving in a World Full of Jerks. An
There’s a distinction between physical violence and insults. Physical violence harms the body. Insults, however, only harm us when we let them. Are we really going to run the risk of getting our lives ruined because someone calls us a name? “You’re walking down the street and somebody calls you a name. You’re gonna walk across the street, get into a fistfight, get thrown in jail, get your whole life derailed, just because someone called you a name?” says Schoenheit. Getting triggered by an insult is one thing; using violence to respond to an insult is even more stupid. Unfortunately, violence
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When someone throws an insult at me, the first thing I ask myself is: “Who am I dealing with?” The insulter is often just plain ignorant. If that’s indeed the case, spending time addressing these insults is kind of pointless.
One way to deal with insults is called the praemeditatio malorum. This Stoic form of meditation is a useful preventive measure that makes it easier for us to buttress ourselves against insults and the people who blurt them out
“He struck you; well then, do you fall back: if you strike him in turn you will give him both an opportunity and an excuse for striking you again; you will not be able to withdraw yourself from the struggle when you please.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Of Anger, 2.34
Not reacting to insults doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t defend ourselves, if necessary.
But when someone insults us, our lives are rarely in danger.
After all, it’s the truth. Epictetus teaches us to remind ourselves that, it is not the external circumstances that create the insult, but our judgments, as is recorded in the Enchiridion: “Remember, that not he who gives ill language or a blow insults, but the principle which represents these things as insulting. When, therefore, anyone provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you.” Epictetus, Enchiridion, 20
To Stoics, the ultimate happiness is eudaimonia. This Greek word can be translated into ‘a state of flourishing’ which also entails a sense of inner peace and tranquility.
The Stoics believed that events aren’t inherently good or bad, but that the mind makes them so. Why
Among the things that are within our control is our opinion or, in other words, our ability to judge.
“For thus, if any hindrance arises in bathing, you will have it ready to say: ‘It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my mind in a state conformable to nature; and I will not keep it if I am bothered at things that happen.’” Epictetus, Enchiridion, 4
First of all, they discern between virtue and vice. Virtues are considered ‘good’ and go along with nature. Vices are considered ‘bad’ and go against nature.
Hence, the solution for a happy life is to live virtuously and avoid vice. Sounds simple, right?
Examples of preferred indifferents are strength, wealth, pleasure, and a good reputation. These attributes are positive in regards to our natural condition but don't necessarily lead to happiness. Examples of dispreferred indifferents are disease, weakness, ugliness, poverty, and low reputation.
The fact that Epictetus the slave and Marcus Aurelius the emperor both practiced Stoicism proves that the amount of money you have or the social status you enjoy, are ultimately not the deciding factors when it comes to virtuous living.
Epictetus points out that you’re not entitled to the things you wish for, but only to the things that are naturally given to you.
Thus, when our expectations exceed what nature ultimately has in store for us, we suffer. This suffering comes from wanting things to happen differently and not from the events themselves.
Hence, in the morning, he premeditated on the undesirable things that could happen when he was out doing his business, so that he wouldn’t start his day with false expectations (see chapter ‘Praemeditatio Malorum’).
“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”
Our desire to be liked probably comes from the deeply rooted fear of being abandoned. In the past, especially during the tribal age, abandonment could easily mean death, so being liked was useful for survival.
We certainly don’t need all this approval and validation to be happy, let alone survive.
As the Stoics would say: a good reputation is a preferred indifferent (see chapter ‘Happiness’). Reputation is nice to have, but if we don’t, it doesn’t exclude virtuous living and the happiness that comes with that.
If you live well, why should you care about what others think? You know that you live well and that’s what counts.
The more we value things beyond our control, the less control we have.
