Nightwolf

by Karina Halle

“There,” he says, awe in his voice. I expect him to be looking at what I am, the pounding waves that send metallic gold into the air, fill my ears, the sun that is now melting into the horizon. But he’s not. I turn my head slightly and up and he’s staring down at me. He’s looking at me like I’m the sunset. After every single amazing sunset Wolf has probably seen in his long life, he’s looking at me like I’m a brand-new experience.

this is gonna be just the cutest cutie pie wholesome couple

“It’s a copper IUD,” I say through a throaty groan. “Would silver work better?” He grins at my vampire joke. “It’s fine.”

lol

“Focus, baby,” Wolf says in this deep voice that makes me want to do everything he says. “Just think about how good I feel. Fuck it, tell me how good I feel.”

play demi lovato concentrate

I shake my head adamantly. Vampires are “born” two ways. One is that you are born naturally to either two vampires or a vampire and a human. They’re born human, as I was, and then turn into a vampire with age (females at twenty-one, males at thirty-five).

this feels incredibly wierd/rushed/unnatural to talk about when you just learned her mom is dead and she does not know if her mom is dead yet

Then I’m hit with shame for feeling that happiness considering my mom is in a coma and currently having her brain looked at. For a moment I’m amazed at what my mind is able to do, how it’s able to be happy about something as absolutely stupid and trivial as a favorite drink when my life is completely falling apart. I didn’t expect that.

this is probably the realest description of grief I have read in a while.

There’s a lot of things people tell you when you’re grieving, and one of them is that you have to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, make sure you get enough sleep. And, to that I say, what the hell are even those things? What do they mean? I have to take care of myself? No, I’m inconsequential at the moment. I have no thoughts for my body or even how I’m going to survive another day. My entire world has been obliterated and the last thing I care about is that I’m healthy enough to keep living on and putting up with all this shit.

great description of grief

“I just want it to feel more real. I’m so afraid it’s going to blindside me, as if I’m not grieving enough right now.”

oof that hit me hard

I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to because I’m afraid to let go of my anger. I don’t want to understand where Wolf is coming from, even though I know deep down that Lenore is right and that Wolf is hurting. He’s hurting himself as much as he’s hurting me.

well i really get this girly now

“I broke your heart.” He stares at me through liquid eyes, eyes that don’t hide an ounce of the pain he’s feeling. “I broke my heart too.

i just dont care that the consequences of his own actions broke his own heart

And now, now that loss feels even bigger, fathomless and stretched on forever.

so quick question that may ruin the plot- HOW do we know that when lenore changed everyone, it made them forever vamps?

And the loss leads to love.

cheeeesee