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“I just…” Peter sucked in a breath and let it out. He had only said this twice, and both of those times it had been to what you might call a sympathetic audience. “I’m gay.” “You’re gay,” Caleb repeated. “Yeah, I’m, er, I like men.” “I know what gay means,” Caleb snapped. “Why are you telling me this?” “Because we’re spending the night in the same room and I know that not everybody would be comfortable.”
Caleb regarded him appraisingly, then looked at the comb he held, as if surprised to find it still in his hand. He placed it carefully onto his nightstand. “I have it on good authority that you can tell at fifty paces that I’m bent. Are you telling me you didn’t know?”
He wished he wasn’t like this—so eager to make things right, so pitifully eager to please but so hopelessly bad at it most of the time.
As Caleb flipped through the newspaper, he occasionally emitted a little hum of interest or sniff of disdain, as if the entire world could be divided into things that pleased him and things that irritated him.
“You are decent and good. You want other people to feel good. This is called not being an asshole. You were raised by emotionally dead rich people so you don’t know this.” “Oh.”
“You are an idiot. A preposterous fool. Bless your heart. I don’t know what I see in you,” he hissed.
“You’re beautiful.” Now that was just unfair. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair that Peter thought he could say that sort of thing and look at him like that, with his eyes all soft and shocked. Those words and those looks were going to twist their way into Caleb’s ribcage whether Caleb let them or not.
“You said mouths were okay.” “Uh,” Caleb said, because mouths were very much okay, but also the thought of Peter’s mouth wrapped around him, the idea of being the first person to be sucked off by Peter Cabot, was too much. “We should fold the laundry before it wrinkles.”
Peter wanted to take the moment and put it in a box and bury it deep inside his pocket where he would never lose it.
The problem was clearly that Peter didn’t know any of the rules. He didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to say that sort of thing to the person you were fooling around with because that was how things got dangerous. Peter just didn’t know anything at all, because he was a complete nightmare of loveliness and Caleb didn’t know what to do with him.
