The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds--Not Crushes--Your Soul

by Brad Stulberg

FINAL THOUGHTS ON DEEP COMMUNITY The Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that we are each like a wave in water. While it is easy to get caught up in the experience of being a wave—how we rise, crest, fall, and move with the tide—it is important to remember where a wave comes from and goes back to, and what a wave actually is: water. When we get too caught up in our own rising and falling—too hell-bent on optimization, productivity, and efficiency—we neglect the water from which we come, and the result is a quick path to loneliness and suffering. When there is no water, a wave literally loses itself. Our social connections and our sense of belonging—our deep community—influence everything from our physical and mental health to our performance to our life satisfaction and fulfillment. We evolved to be in community. It is what holds us as we rise and fall. When we neglect it, we do so at great cost. Like all the other principles of groundedness, deep community is an ongoing practice. It takes time and effort to build and sustain. Acceptance, presence, patience, and especially vulnerability help to create and sustain deep community. In turn, deep community becomes the supportive space for all the other principles to flourish. “In my tradition we learn that as individuals we cannot do much. That is why . . . taking refuge in the community is a very strong and important practice,” says Hanh. “Without being in a [community], without being supported by a group of friends who are mo...