The deleterious effects of loneliness extend beyond our individual experience and into our romantic partnerships, too. Relationship therapist Esther Perel believes that a driving issue in many unsatisfying intimate relationships is that participants lack belonging to a broader community. “We are asking one person to give us what once an entire village of people used to provide,” she says. “It’s crushing us. It puts way too many expectations [on the relationship].” Yes, humans evolved to bond with intimate others, but we also evolved to belong to communities.
