He Who Fights with Monsters 2 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #2)

by Shirtaloon

“A friend of mine died,” he said. “A close friend?” “As close as I have in this world. She taught me so much about being an adventurer.” “She taught you to fight?” Sophie asked. “No, that was Rufus. He taught me to fight like an adventurer. Farrah taught me to live like one.” He smiled sadly.

“No,” Belinda said. “Those two are easy to read. Asano is more like dark water. You see things in there, but you can’t tell if what you saw was real.”

“You know you’re still an iron-ranker, right?” she asked. “I do,” Jason said. “And you're going to march into the office of the silver-rank branch director of the Adventure Society and tell her what to do?” “I am.” “Which, if I understand correctly, is exactly what you did last time. After which, she immediately played you for a fool.” “That would be an accurate summation, yes,” Jason said. “I hope you aren’t going to be throwing around Mr Bahadir’s name.” “I have a little more decorum than that,” Jason said. “I have my own levers to push, thank you.”

“Rufus was right,” Constance said. “That boy is mad.” “That’s the things about climbing mountains,” Emir said. “The first thing you need is someone foolish enough to try it.”

“You’ll have to earn how to fight,” Sophie said. Despite her best efforts, a smile was creeping onto her face. “I know how to fight,” Belinda said. “Kicking a guy in the beans and then running for it is not fighting.” “It got me this far.”

“Why would you provoke him like that?” Vincent asked. “He was coming after me either way; he said it himself. I’d rather he do something angry than something smart.”

“You play dangerous games, Jason,” Rufus warned. “Someday you're going to pay for that.” “I know.”

“I do have one question,” Cassandra said with a sweet, tired smile. “What’s that?” “Why is that very attractive young woman staring at us?” “No idea what you’re talking about,” Jason said innocently, not taking his eyes off of her. “No?” Cassandra asked, turning her head to examine Sophie. “You didn’t notice the extremely pretty woman with the silver hair and the tracking bracelet.” “Oh, her.” “Yes, her.” “She’s new.” “Yes, I imagine I would have spotted her before. She stands out, doesn’t she?” “You don’t need to bother about her.” “Don’t I, now?” “Not at all. That’s just my nubile slave girl.” “WHAT?” came Sophie and Cassandra’s simultaneous exclamation, to a backdrop of Jason’s wild cackling as a gaggle of people started talking over one another. “I’m not a slave!” “You have some serious explaining to do, Asano!” “Jason, I think you’re my hero now.” “What I have can’t be taught, Rick.”

“The man is infuriating,” Sophie said. She was back in her shared suite with Belinda. They were standing at the terrace rail, enjoying the cool ocean breeze. “How so?” Belinda asked. “He keeps calling me a slave.” “Does he treat you like a slave?” “That’s not the point.” “It really is,” Belinda said.

The assured sense of capability he gave off was the exact opposite of what she read from Asano. In her encounters with him, Jason had variously come across as casual, dangerous, friendly, manipulative, vulnerable, controlling and buffoonish. She had no idea which, if any, of what she had seen was genuine.

“You're saddled with the poorest adventurer in the cloud palace. That's not a complaint, mind you. I have far more money than most; I just happen to keep exalted company.” “Except for us,” Belinda said. “Give it time,” Jason said with an encouraging smile.

“I’m still unclear on why he accused me of sleeping with his wife,” Clive said. “He doesn’t have a wife. Neither do I, for that matter, which did not stop him from accusing himself of sleeping with her.”

“I’m changing my answer,” Emir said, breaking the silence. “I’ve just now known him long enough to realise I absolutely do not understand him at all.”

“The next move is obvious, then,” Jason said. “Let’s go jump off a sky palace.” “You might want to be a little cautious,” Clive said. “Until she gets a handle on the ability.” “Boo!” Belinda jeered. “Did you just boo me?” Clive asked. “And so she should,” Jason said. “Boo!” “You’re acting like children.” “We’re about to go jump off the roof,” Jason said. “Of course we’re acting like children.”

“That’s where the second lesson comes in,” Jason said. “When someone believes something, they believe it hard. Too hard. They’ll dismiss good evidence that contradicts their belief and accept spurious evidence that supports it. So, in their mind, if you’re wrong, they’re very wrong, and the whole point is that their thoughts don’t go down that path.”

“He doesn’t seem like the kind that would be bothered.” “Yeah,” Rufus said. “Not seeming bothered is something he’s good at.”

“I shouldn’t have told him that,” Gabrielle said apologetically. “You shouldn’t even know about it. I know I’ve been jokey about your goddess and her privacy issues but she had no right to tell you that.” Gabrielle’s expression went stiff. “She’s a goddess, Mr Asano. She has whatever rights she wants.” “I’d respond to that, but she already knows what I have to say because I do. In case she doesn’t tell you, it involved a lot of bad language and several physiologically implausible suggestions.” “You should show her more respect.” “Respect is earned.” “She earned it by being a goddess.” “That’s a tyrant’s reasoning. If you’ll excuse me, I’m leaving.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. She chose the moment to offer me this, didn’t she?” “She said you could use some good news.” “No,” he said, voice tired. “She sent you now because I’m emotional and vulnerable to making a rash decision.” Gabrielle glared at Jason. “My goddess doesn’t lie.” “She has all the knowledge in the world and near-infinite power,” Jason said. “I bet the god of deceit looks at her with admiration.”

“He certainly keeps exciting company,” Emir had told her the night before. “I mean, look at us; we’re no deities, but still. A professional thief and a gold-rank adventurer? The most exciting person I knew at iron-rank was a guy named Brian who could conjure a huge metal duck.”

“If your goddess is willing to hand over such information, then by what moral stricture does she not? Instead, she looks to ransom a man’s principles. You just tried to turn me on my friend, a man who saved my life, and you have the gall to lay there looking surprised? If you want to help me, then help me. Bring your self-serving ways to me again and you’ll get worse than you got today.”

“No,” Sophie said. “I never thought I would have the chance to get a full set of essences. I want to see how far this can take me.” “Me too,” Jason said. “Humphrey already knows because his mum told him.” “Hey,” Humphrey protested. “You do talk about your mother a lot,” Sophie said, “and I've only known you since this morning.”

“Yes, he is,” Humphrey said. “You haven’t seen him fight.” “I’ve fought him myself,” she said. “No,” Humphrey said. “You’ve sparred with him. Run from him. You haven’t fought him. Jason is very good at killing and very bad at leaving things alive. If he’d wanted you dead, you would have been dead.”

“Money and power are great,” Jason said. “Anything you want to get, they can give you. Anything you want to do, they can let you. But you have to want things worth having and want to do things worth doing.

“What are you doing here, Lindy?” Sophie asked. “Complicated magic with the fate of the world at stake,” Belinda said causally. “You?” “It’s getting late and I was offered a hammock.”

“You need to get control of your familiar,” Clive said. “You aren’t in any more control of your familiar,” Humphrey said. “It’s just so slow that you can’t tell it’s running away.”

How does something like that even happen?” "The short answer? Me. Really, though, it's the same way anything happens. You look at what you want to happen, then figure out what it'll take to get there from where you are. You can do almost anything if you're willing to do what it takes. People mostly fail at things because they balk at what they have to do. It's not that the path isn't there but that they aren't willing to walk it. There's a price they aren't willing to pay, be it literal, political, social, whatever. But if you're willing to commit, impossible is just a word for people convincing themselves not to try.”

“That’s disappointing,” Jason mused to himself. “Finding out clowns were all a family of interdimensional travellers would have been fun.”

“Hello Jason.” “Thalia.” “I’m sorry about how things ended with you and Cassandra.” “I don’t care.” Anger crossed Thalia’s face. “My daughter isn’t worth enough for you to care about losing her?” “Of course she is,” Jason said, resuming his passage across the bridge by walking past her. “I don’t care that you’re sorry.”

“I’ve mentioned her in earlier entries,” Jason said, “but this is her in the flesh. My nubile slave girl, Sophie Wexler.” Sophie was sitting on the raft, so her flashing jab caught him on the thigh. “Ow. As you can see, she has some behavioural problems.” Sophie turned to Humphrey and Clive. “If I drown him out here,” she asked them, “would you two back me up and say it was an accident?” “Absolutely,” Clive said. “Someone was going to do it sooner or later,” Humphrey agreed. “As you can also see,” Jason said, “she has ruthlessly suborned my minions.” “Did you just call us minions?” Humphrey asked. “Nope,” Jason said. “My voice just sounds weird because of the rain.”

“Of course it was small after the cloud ship,” he said. “It’s good for you to broaden your perspective.” “You don’t broaden your perspective by narrowing the ship,” she said sullenly, and Emir laughed again.

“You aren’t still holding out on me, are you?” Emir asked. “Jason told me you didn’t take anything from that complex you found.” “I said no such thing,” Jason said. “If you think back, you’ll find I dodged the question. If I went telling high-rankers every time I found something interesting, they’d just keep taking them off me.”

“Rufus requested that when you meet his father, you go what he referred to as ‘full Jason,’ whatever that means.” “Oh, we know what that means,” Neil said. “Yes, we do,” Clive said. “What are you two talking about?” Jason said. “You questioned if I was even an elf, then accused me of being fat,” Neil said. “You claimed to have slept with my non-existent wife, then accused me of sleeping with your non-existent wife.” “Neil’s an elf?” Belinda asked. “Yes, I’m an elf!” “You are quite hefty for an elf.” “My proportions are perfectly normal!” “I see it now,” Emir said. “This is exactly what Rufus was looking for.” “He had his landlady yell at me.”

“What just happened?” “We just met Rufus’s friend, dear,” she said. “Don’t be judgemental.” “Judgemental? The man was a loon!” “He’s from very far away,” Arabelle said. “He’s bound to have some idiosyncrasies.” “Idiosyncrasies? He tried to get me to invest in a pottery workshop staffed by slaves! He wouldn’t stop saying amphora and I still have no idea what Bovril is.”

“I thought I might take the opportunity of all these new adventurers arriving to try and bait out the Builder cultists and I had an idea that makes use of your flair for pompous melodrama.” “Pompous melodrama?” Jason said, as laughter spread around the table at his hurt expression. “That’s your problem?” Emir asked. “Not being used as bait for evil cultists?” “No worries there, mate,” Jason said. “Evil cultists are kind of my thing.” “Evil cultists are your thing?” Phoebe asked. “Jason has a lot of things,” Gary said. “I’m versatile,” Jason said.

“Why do you need me out here with you?” “You’re easier to track,” he said. “And you’re not easy to track?” “Nope. I have a power that makes it hard.” “No actual skills, then.” “None whatsoever,” he said, pumping a fist in the air. “Magic powers for the win!”

“Shut up,” she said and set off again, marching past him along the embankment road. Jason looked at her, shaking his head and then followed. “Such a tsundere.” “I heard that!” “Do you even know what that means?” “Shut up!”

“Royal assassins,” Jason said. “I’d say you should try democracy but the results where I come from are very mixed.”

“Oh, I believe it,” she said and took a sip of juice. “That’s really good.” “It’s a blend of delta fruits. I bought a bunch of it from Arash.” “The guy who sells juice from a cart and keeps calling you a heretic?” “That’s the one.” “So when you making preparations to enter this unexplored astral space full of unknown dangers, you went with picnic furniture, plates of hot breakfast and pitchers of fruit juice.” “Life isn’t for surviving, Wexler. Life is for living.”

“I’ve been watching you and I’m willing to bet you’re strange, even where you come from. If it was all an act, you wouldn’t be the same around your friends as your enemies.” “It’s not an act,” Jason said. “I told you that I’m just being who I am and people can take it or leave it. I just crank it up or dial it back a bit for any given situation.”

“Regroup and protect each other as best you can,” Jason said. “Sophie and I should be well-equipped to handle them. Probably.” “Probably?” Neil asked. “It’s better than definitely not.”

“Reckless,” Jason said, shaking his head. “Then why are you grinning?” Neil asked. “I have a soft spot for poor but flamboyant choices.”

“What the heck is that?” Beth asked. “That’s Jason’s ability,” Sophie said. “He gets free stuff for doing what he was going to do anyway. It’s basically a scam.” “I can drop you out of the party if you don’t want to participate,” Jason said. “I can drop you off a building,” Sophie told him.

I kind of just wanted to sleep,” Beth said. “I think everyone just wanted to sleep,” Humphrey said. “So why are we having a party?” “We were outvoted by Jason and the prince.” “How do two people outvote twenty-nine?” “I’m not sure,” Humphrey said, “but I think we may need to keep those two apart.”

“Thank you,” Neil said to Clive. “Really, thank you.” “Pay us back by keeping us alive,” Clive said. “And you’ll need to buy some new clothes,” Jason said. “A gold headband with a honking great gem in the middle is a bold look. You’re going to have to dress around it.”

“The final trial tests the virtue of insight,” Shade said. “The ability see beyond appearances to grapple with the truth.” “I truly want to get out of here, if that helps.”

“Jason, did you get the scythe?” Keane asked. “Of course not,” Jason said. “He’s lying,” Sophie said from behind Jason. “You can tell when he’s lying.” “How?” Valdis asked with eager curiosity. “He’s awake,” Sophie said. “Even his body language is manipulative.”

“It should have been the same for your first familiar, right?” Clive asked. “Even more costly, if anything. Your first familiar is an apocalypse beast, after all.” “Did you just say apocalypse?” Neil asked. “Don’t worry about that,” Jason said. “It’s fine.” “Apocalypse?” Neil asked again. “I said it’s fine. Tell him it’s fine, Clive.” “He’s right,” Clive said. “Until he reaches diamond rank, it definitely won’t be able to wipe out an entire world’s worth of life.” “WHAT?” “Clive, I said to tell him it's fine, not anything about scouring the world of life, which Colin would never do.” “He might,” Clive said. “He wouldn’t eat the plants, would he?” Jason asked. “Oh, you’re probably right,”

“When Gary heard Jason would be getting new familiars,” Humphrey whispered, “he tried to bet me the incantation would be really evil.” “You didn’t take that bet, did you?” Sophie asked him. “Gods, no.” “Do you mind?” Jason asked. “I’m trying to summon an awesome British shadow creature.” “Sorry,” Humphrey said. “You go ahead.” “Well, I’m self-conscious now,” Jason said. “You’re all going to interpret the incantation as evil, even when it’s just a normal, harmless incantation.” “It’ll be fine,” Humphrey said. “We promise to keep an open mind.” “I don’t,” Neil said. “Just do it,” Sophie said. “It’s not going to seem any less evil for all the build-up.” Jason groaned, but turned back to his ritual circle and started chanting. “I call to the realm beyond cold and darkness, where death has no meaning for life has no place. Let mine be the dark beyond darkness, falling on the final road to the end of all things. Let mine be the shadow of death.” As Jason chanted, dark energy boiled up to submerge the ritual circle. “I don’t know what we were worried about,” Neil said. “That didn’t seem at all like he was calling up some all-consuming darkness and that we should kill him to keep it from entering the world.” “I don’t know that I’d say evil,” Humphrey said with very little conviction. “You wish you’d taken that bet then?” Sophie asked. “No, I do not,”

“When worlds end, you are the arbiter. When gods fall, you are the instrument. Herald of annihilation, come forth and be my harbinger. I have doom to bring.”

“And what happens when Humphrey starts planning the meals for maximum effectiveness?” Neil asked. Jason’s eyes went wide. “Now that I think about it,” he said, “maintaining a respectful separation may be what’s best for the team.”