He Who Fights with Monsters 2 (He Who Fights with Monsters, #2)

by Shirtaloon

“I know how to fight,” Belinda said. “Kicking a guy in the beans and then running for it is not fighting.” “It got me this far.”

“You think you can judge me?” Sophie asked Jason, then turned to Rufus. “Did he say I fight better than him?” “He did,” Rufus said. “Oh,” Sophie said. “Then, maybe he can judge me.”

“A flight power?” Sophie asked. “That’s right,” Clive said. “Flight, as in being able to fly?” “That’s how flight works, yes,” Clive said. “So that would be me, able to fly?” “Yes. That would be you. Flying. With your flight power. That makes you fly.

“You should always welcome being proven wrong,” Jason said. “It means your understanding of the world just got a little bit better.” “Says the guy who gets downright obnoxious about being right,” Humphrey said. “I'm not saying I always welcome being wrong in the moment,” Jason acknowledged. “The important thing is to reflect on it and accept it going forward.”

“Why would you lie and claim you were bitten on the head?” she asked. “I’m not lying,” Jason said. “I definitely didn’t get woozy after the fight from teleporting too much while hungover and hit my head on a log.”

“Never have sex in a hammock,” Jason advised. “It seems like it would be awesome, but it’s actually quite troublesome.” “It just takes practise,” Humphrey said offhandedly, earning a wide-eyed look from Jason. “What?” Humphrey asked.

“I’ll have you know, people find me very scary,” Jason said. “You’re wearing a pink shirt with tropical flower print,” Neil said. “They could be poisonous flowers; you don’t know.”

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Jason. You’re talking increasing amounts of rubbish.”

“Why do you sound British?” Jason asked. “I don’t know what British is,” the shadowy figure said. “That’s for the best,” Jason said. “Don’t tell them you don’t have guns or they’ll colonise the crap out of you.”

“So when you making preparations to enter this unexplored astral space full of unknown dangers, you went with picnic furniture, plates of hot breakfast and pitchers of fruit juice.” “Life isn’t for surviving, Wexler. Life is for living.”

“You do have very large arms,” Beth said. “They are quite large, aren’t they?” Jason said. “Do you do any special exercises?” “We train together,” Humphrey said, giving him a flat look. “You know exactly what exercises I do.” “So, you’re saying you rub special oil on them when no one’s looking?” “What?”

“Come back in,” she said. “What’s a gathering without you telling people how great you are?” “Excuse me?” he asked, also standing up straight. “I’ll have you know that I’m incredibly humble. I challenge you to find someone more humble than me…”

“Well, I’m self-conscious now,” Jason said. “You’re all going to interpret the incantation as evil, even when it’s just a normal, harmless incantation.” “It’ll be fine,” Humphrey said. “We promise to keep an open mind.” “I don’t,” Neil said. “Just do it,” Sophie said. “It’s not going to seem any less evil for all the build-up.” Jason groaned, but turned back to his ritual circle and started chanting. “I call to the realm beyond cold and darkness, where death has no meaning for life has no place. Let mine be the dark beyond darkness, falling on the final road to the end of all things. Let mine be the shadow of death.”