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Of course Magda had known exactly what she was doing, just as she had known that Sam would instantly tense up. What Magda hadn’t known – I doubted that any of us had been expecting it – was that her hair was suddenly going to catch fire. Eating her kebab, Sam watched in an almost detached interest as a screaming Magda shot up from the lounger beside ours, patting her hair. Then, still looking bored, Sam raised her hand and sent a gush of water at Magda, calming the flames.
Who wouldn’t love a girl who’d set someone on fire for you?
I groaned again. Now Fletcher’s little phrases were rubbing off on Jared. Wasn’t that special.
Now, having anyone fart at you would be bad. But as Denny was able – as one of his animal-mimic abilities – to release anal musk like a skunk…well, that was a bad moment for Magda. She nearly fell to her knees as the stench hit her. Her coughs and balks were drowned out by the laughs coming from me, Jared, and the guys. It was hard for me to stomach the smell, but the satisfaction I got from watching that bitch nearly pass out from a musky fart just purely diluted it.
Jared looked slightly placated. “Why does it feel like he’s assessing me?” Wes smiled. “He most likely is. Come closer, so he can get a better feel for you.” I almost laughed at Jared’s ‘Do you think I’m stupid?’ look. “Oh behave. You face big, bad vampires all the time. He’s just a snake.”
A full hour. I’d spent a full hour trying to make the homicidal bitch listen to me, trying to make her see reason. What had she done the entire time? Smiled indulgently at me, much like a parent would at a teenager having a tantrum. “Sam, you can’t expect me to be okay with you going out there helpless.” “I’m not helpless.”
“No, she’s not, but you wouldn’t allow any person to go on an assignment unless you thought they were capable enough to handle it. So am I to take this as you think she’s capable, but I’m not?”
I couldn’t believe they were talking about vines and pets in the middle of a conversation like this. Unreal.
“Did you grow up?” quipped Rowan. Sam simply looked at him with pity. “Aw, Rowan, didn’t anyone ever tell you that in order to be a smartarse, you need to be smart? If you’re not, it just makes you an arse.”
“You may think that you are clever, Sam. But all I see is an insecure, green-eyed, bitter, hot-headed individual.” Madga’s self-satisfied grin faded when Sam simply shrugged. I had to admit, I was surprised by her composure too. “At least I don’t have a chopstick sticking out of my eye.” And then she lunged across the table, chopstick in hand. Yep, that was more like my Sam. If Magda hadn’t scampered so fast, she would have ended up in sheer agony. God, I loved this woman.
“It’s no secret that Jared is popular with the females, just as it’s no secret that he once enjoyed that. But as it’s clear that he’s utterly devoted to Sam, I think it would be a good idea if those of you who have a key to his apartment now hand it over.” I gawked as practically every female rose and came to the main table to place a key in the glass bowl that Evan was holding up. I could feel that Sam was irritated, but when Fletcher skipped over and put a key in the bowl, she realised that Evan was just pissing around and had obviously handed out keys earlier. Laughing, she discretely
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