The One That Got Away

by Nicky James

It was my favorite mug and the only one in our extensive collection I could use for my eight o’clock coffee. The red one with the gold stripes was for my ten o’clock coffee. The moss green one with a painted pinecone on one side was for my midday coffee. I didn’t drink coffee after noon. If my doctor had her way, I wouldn’t drink it at all. She claimed it exacerbated my anxiety. I disagreed.

I was an adult, but too many people didn’t see me as such. They saw me as mentally deficient. Broken. They treated me like a child, and I wasn’t a child.

After all, he was the man who’d rescued me all those years ago. Detective Graveman had my safety and best interest at heart. *

Seventeen years ago, he and his partner at the time, Pugsley, cracked an ugly case wide open. A kidnapping and underground child sex-trafficking operation.”

Charlie isn’t a kid anymore. He’s got a few years on you if I’m not mistaken. Remember that. He might struggle with certain things, but he’s far from stupid.”

When the unknown number flashed across the screen, I almost launched the phone into the street. Instead, I punched the button to accept the call and yelled, “I swear to fucking god, Charlie, if you call me one more goddamn time, I’m gonna drive to your house and hang you up by your fucking balls. There is no one fucking following you. There is no one in your bushes. It’s all in your fucking head. You’re crazy, do you hear me? You’re a fucking quack. Maybe no one has—”

You’re going to listen to every word I say to you, and if I ever hear you talk to Charlie like that again, getting fired will be the least of your problems. I didn’t work thirty years as a detective and not learn a thing or two about evading arrest. You take my meaning?” “Christ, yeah. Loud and fucking clear.”

You’re not a bad person, but you’re hard to like. Take down some of your walls, and maybe you’ll see the whole world isn’t against you like you think.”

Like I said, you got a problem again, call the station and aks for me.” “Ask.” Takoda glared, his lips thinning. I didn’t feel bad about correcting him that time and let a smile crest my face as I held his gaze. “You know that’s fucking irritating as hell, right?” But he was smiling too, and there was little to no heat behind the words. “Dad’s mentioned it once or twice.”

“Because they’re your favorite,” a voice from the abyss said. Without warning, darkness blanketed my vision, my ears rang, and I couldn’t breathe.

It had been four days since I’d visited their house and chatted with Charlie about his imaginary problems, taking Graveman’s advice and lying through my teeth to make the man happy. I hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be. Especially when a look of unfiltered relief had crossed Charlie’s face. It had felt almost cruel.

“He’s barely spoken three words in a week. You just had a full twenty-minute conversation with him.”

I studied Archie for another minute before piercing Sofia with a hard glare. “Stop fucking drugging him. He doesn’t like it.” Then I marched down the stairs and left.

“I mean, he seems friendly.” “He is friendly.” “Are you being coy, or should I spell out what I mean?” I stayed quiet, gnawing my lip. Dad shifted his attention to me, and my cheeks warmed. I guessed by the way he glanced at them that they’d turned a deep red. He shifted back to his airplane. “Mmhmm. That’s what I thought.”

I couldn’t explain what it was about Charlie that calmed me down when everyone else in the world seemed to rile me up.

Charlie is extremely inexperienced. If you push too hard, it could be triggering. I don’t know for sure because we haven’t had to deal with it yet. I’m not telling you to back off, Takoda. I’m telling you to be mindful of how you approach this. That’s all.”

Too many times over the years, I’d wondered if a crazy person knew they were crazy. To me, I was perfectly sane. So I guess I had my answer.

“I’m sorry. I was… lost in my head.” Words that I knew didn’t help my case when I wanted everyone to think of me as rational and sane.

Do you know any self-defense?” I couldn’t help but laugh as well. It exploded from me unchecked. The minute the laugh came out, I pinched my lips together, trying to stop it. Takoda was grinning. “What the fuck was that? Was that a laugh?” My cheeks were on fire. “Do I look like the kind of guy who knows self-defense?”

“The day the person took the picture was the same day he made me take a blood oath. A pact. Brothers. Best friends. Always.”

He sighed against my mouth and brought his hands to my waist… Then he jerked back with wide eyes, his hands in the air. “Oh my god. I touched your gun.” I almost choked on my spit, an undignified snort bursting out of me as I laughed. What made it funnier was how the double meaning went right over Charlie’s head. Charlie stared, perplexed, as I folded at the waist and laughed. “For starters, I don’t have a gun. Nikola took it. You touched my holster.” And then I kept right on laughing because Charlie just had no idea.

“Come on. I have cats to feed, and if I keep kissing you, my other gun’s going to go off on its own because you are too fucking cute for words.” “Other gun?” he asked with all the innocence that was Charlie. I winked and left him to puzzle it out. I was halfway down the stairs when it sank in, and Charlie exclaimed, “Oh my god!”

“You can’t unthaw something.” “Yes, I can. What the fuck are you talking about?” I pinched my lips and shook my head. “Never mind.”

“We’ll stop somewhere on the way to the station. I’ll even pay for your expresso, okay?” Charlie snorted then pinched his lips together. I groaned. “God, what now?” “Espresso.” “That’s what I said.” “No, you said—” Charlie squealed when I dug my fingers into his side.

“It wasn’t a request. She made that clear.” “Well, she can suck my fucking dick,” I said. “I don’t care if she’s the crown attorney. I don’t care if she’s the Queen of fucking England, Charlie is an adult, and if he says no, the answer’s no.” Charlie cringed and elbowed me in the side. “Thanks for standing up for me, but the visual was absolutely appalling.” It took a second for me to reassess all I’d just said and find the problem. When I did, I gagged. “Oh… oh god, it was.

“I’m so getting my ass fired. It’s a good thing you’re cute, Charlie. When the unemployment office asks me why I don’t have a job anymore, I’m going to show them your picture and ask them if they could say no to you.”

The rock slipped at one point, and the wire scraped along the pad of my palm, cutting into the soft flesh. “Fucker.” I sucked the wound and shook my hand. “Now I’m going to get tetanus and die.” “Don’t you have your shot?” “Of course I’ve had my shot. I’m being dramatic. It hurt.”

I want to help you discover all your strengths because I think you focus too much on your weaknesses. I want to keep making you feel safe.”

“How are you doing, Charlie?” “I’m all right. Takoda is taking care of me.” Stanley made a noise in his throat, and I would have bet there was a whole lot more he wanted to say, but he held his tongue.

I stood in the middle of my bedroom, surrounded by the world I’d created as a twelve-year-old boy and let the memories return. All of them.

Now, aren’t you supposed to be playing James Bond or something?” Takoda’s spine stiffened, and his gaze flicked around the street. He wasn’t the most astute bodyguard and was far too easily distracted.