More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Nick Trenton
Started reading
August 18, 2025
They are desperate to solve the “problem,” not considering that their appraisal of what is a problem is in fact the problem.
When no task dominates, the brain ends up mulling over its place in the world and processes and reprocesses social information and memories in the interests of increasing survival.
those suffering from anxiety and depression actually demonstrated greater default mode network (DMN) activation than others.
Many of us have become habitual overthinkers because it gives us the illusion that we’re doing something about the problem we’re overthinking about.
“Eustress”
Stress and anxiety are not the same thing. Psychologist Dr. Sarah Edelman explains that stress is something in the environment, an external pressure on us, whereas anxiety is our internal experience of this pressure.
Clutter, be it at home or work, is generally a significant cause of anxiety because it subconsciously acts as a reflection of yourself.
In fact, the color isn’t even a result of the interaction between the two, but of some third variable: the breeder’s awareness of how color works in Siamese cats, and their deliberate and purposeful action to get the outcome they desire.
We respond not to stress but to our perception of stress.
Our main goal in de-stressing is to pinpoint exactly what is going on in our heads when we overthink
when we are aware, we simply turn our attention to both our inner and outer experience, without judgment and without clinging or resisting.
our lifestyle is supporting us in the ways we need it
Having a simple, structured approach to anxiety can be like a lifeboat in the storm of stress and overthinking. All you need to remember is four techniques: avoid, alter, accept, and adapt
You always have the option of asking others to change their behavior.
Communicate your needs and feelings directly, rather than suffering in silence.
it. Acceptance doesn’t mean pretending you don’t feel how you feel; it’s an acknowledgment that it’s okay to feel that way. Validate your own emotions and own them.
When you forgive, you are releasing yourself from the stress and energy of resenting and blaming the other person.
this one event doesn’t define me.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we agree with what happened or that we like it and shouldn’t try to change it. It only means we gracefully come to terms with what we can’t realistically change, so we can focus on what we can.
we do our best in the face of stress if we can adapt
Adapting to stress means we change ourselves to better cope with life.
How does this obstacle look when we tell ourselves, “I’m a resilient person,”
When we adapt to stress, we find ways to make ourselves stronger.
We build a worldview for ourselves that empowers us.
The only trick with this approach, however, is to make sure that you are constantly moving toward something more positive.
allowing your expression over time to be transformed into something healthier and more balanced.
A stress diary can help you pinpoint your triggers, as well as your reaction to them
the detail and specificity of this problem allows us to see a potential solution going forward.
Keep a stress diary for a few days or a week, and then sit down to analyze it and find any patterns: What are the most frequent causes of stress, i.e., what usually comes before a sudden rise in stress or drop in mood? How do these events typically affect your productivity? How do you normally respond to these events, emotionally and behaviorally, and is your approach working? Can you identify a level of stress that was comfortable and beneficial for your productivity?
As you’re analyzing, avoid overanalyzing!
Instead take a compassionate, curious approach and stay open-minded.
you can begin to work on your anger.
Writing things down can relieve stress on its own, but it can also help you gather your thoughts, hash out problems, find insights, and process any issues you’re going through.
Once down on paper, you might start naturally gaining some self-knowledge, or see some hints for ways forward.
If the stress in your life is more ongoing, you might like to try bullet journaling, where you use brief notes to keep track of daily goals, priorities, and memories.
Keeping things brief can help you stay organized and add stru...
This highlight has been truncated due to consecutive passage length restrictions.
Try to finish every journaling session with something positive and grounding—recite a mantra, visualize something positive, or consider some possibilities and solutions going forward.
If you don’t make sure to return to a positive headspace, journaling may start to feel like it only encourages more unhappiness and overthinking.
when we overthink and ruminate and stress, we are out of the moment
If we can pull our conscious awareness back into the present, we can halt some of this overthinking. And we can do this by checking in with the five senses. To put it another way, the brain can carry you all over the place, but the body—and its senses—is only ever one place: the present.
When we are the narrator of our own stories, we take charge, reframe, and are empowered to make new meanings.
people are separate from their problems, and indeed this idea underpins a popular technique called “externalization.”
“Overthinking is a problem, and I’m going to find alternatives,”
we are the experts of our own experience.
When we can see that our interpretations and frames influence our experience, we are empowered to change them for ourselves.
You are not your problems. You are not your failures.
put distance between yourself and your life challenges, you gain perspective and untangle your sense of identity and self-worth from the temporary moment you’re experiencing.
“I’m experiencing anxiety right now,” or even, “I’m noticing some anxiety.”
A story is a way to organize, to slow things down, and to remind you that you are in control when it comes to where and how you place your attention.
You cannot look at everything all at once.
