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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Nick Trenton
Started reading
August 18, 2025
it’s not just the quantity of thoughts racing around your head, but their quality
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”
our thoughts (not the outside world) influence how we see the world and how we behave.
When we change our thoughts, everything else follows.
“I value failure as a way to learn more and grow stronger,” then when you fail, you feel empowered and motivated and try even harder next time.
it’s worth getting to the root of these thoughts, beliefs, and expectations and asking whether they lead to the kind of emotions and behaviors you actually want.
use your capacity for analysis, conscious thought, and focus to actively improve those parts of your life that aren’t working for you.
it’s worth remembering to adopt an attitude of compassionate curiosity rather than judgment.
Be proud of yourself for having the honesty and courage to grow and change, rather than trying to “fix” yourself from a position of desperation, shame, or impatience.
we uncover our thoughts so that we can more consciously replace them with ones that better reflect our real values and help us create the life we want for ourselves.
neutrally examine and question our own thinking,
We have the choice to construct the thoughts we want and can use evidence to restructure limiting or unhelpful thoughts into more rational ones.
The big insight comes when you realize that much of what you take for granted is done with next to no evidence!
When we change the way we look at things, we change the way we feel.
When you feel a negative emotion, STOP. Pause and become alert. Write down as much as you can in your record, whichever style you’ve opted for. Identify the trigger or cue, or at least whatever came directly before the feeling, and note it down.
What evidence do I have that my automatic thought is actually true or not?
The more you can internalize the fact that cognitive restructuring actually improves your life and makes you feel better, the more likely you are to stick with it and reap the benefits!
But some of our most cherished assumptions and biases might linger on even after we’ve checked them for cognitive distortions and looked for alternatives.
CBT can also help us get a handle on the self-talk that comes from chronically low self-esteem, self-judgment, and self-doubt. Using the ABC structure above or the dysfunctional thought record, we can see what triggers our stream of self-talk—which
But use these records to see if you can distill a single emotional theme behind your self-talk, and from that, extract a core belief or thought that sets this train of thought off.
The way we address ourselves internally is more than just the single thoughts we entertain, but rather an ongoing attitude and habit.
we can over time build a relationship with ourselves that is characterized by kindness and respect.
optimally encouraging and positive way of talking to and about yourself all the time.
self-script can be used when you’re doing meditation, visualization, or progressive muscle relaxation, or you can combine it with mantras and encouraging quotes to draw on in tense moments.
you are familiar with your triggers, you can remind yourself to “switch on” your script when you know you’re most vulnerable to delving into negative self-talk or overthinking.
A self-script is a little like self-hypnosis and draws your attention to where you want it.
Practice it when you’re calm and focused so you are ready and it comes automatically when you’re feeling more stressed out.
Your inner cheerleader: the source of a positive self-script.
you may find it helpful to construct the opposite voice: instead of the inner critic, become curious about your inner cheerleader.
you can consciously choose to have this inner cheerleader weigh in every time you notice any distorted thoughts and core beliefs.
may be surprised at just how wise and clear-sighted you can be if only you take the opportunity to listen!
Some stress enhances your performance and can be motivating!
If it can’t be moved, it can’t be moved.
you have a choice.
Follow the Stoics and gracefully accept what is not in your power to change.
“Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.”
Stoic principle of focusing on what you can control has measurable benefits for those with anxiety.
Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t
Anxiety and overthinking have a peculiar characteristic—it’s all abstract, internal, vague.
more substantial than air when you think about it.
Sometimes, when we’re overcome with stressful overthinking, it’s because we’re afraid to act, or feel like we can’t act, or are failing to acknowledge that we can and even should act.
Action has a clarifying and sobering effect and can bring you out of mental conjecture and stressful rumination.
If you are not focusing on action, or if you’re stressing about what can’t be done, you are directing your energy to everything that will...
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Thinking is a precious skill—provided it inspires action.
The right attitude turns adversity and obstacles into an opportunity for creative solutions.
But when you focus on the failure and not the new possibilities suggested by this failure, you place stress on yourself needlessly.
Attitude 3: Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have
Confidence and contentment come from a perspective that focuses on possible solutions and positive interpretations, whereas anxiety comes from that perspective that homes in on everything that’s wrong with a situation.
Focusing on what you have is a way to put a positive, healthy spin on your appraisal of any situation.
Overthinkers can sometimes blow a problem out of proportion while simultaneously downplaying their own ability to solve it.
