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We’re the stain on society. The freaks, the creeps, your favorite Netflix documentaries come to life.
Reality warps in the dungeon, and I’m left wondering which prison is worse… the one holding my body, or my mind.
This book is dedicated to anyone brave enough to embrace your issues… Courageous enough to dance with your demons. Here’s to the beautiful deformities in us all.
“Tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway.” —Sade Andria Zabala War Songs
You can escape from just about anything… Anything but yourself.
“Bravo, kid! That’s quite the python.”
“Welcome to Alabaster Penitentiary.”
Audi R8 Spyder,
That burlap sack-looking thing with two holes cut out for the eyes.
I’ll survive through a lot of nonsense, but not having a toothbrush of my own might be the thing that drives me completely insane.
“What’s the number one rule, Dascha?” “Don’t get caught,” I utter with confidence.
I only just turned fifteen, but the lack of attention from my parents forced me to grow up quicker than someone else my age might.
I’m trying to get a feel for what goes down here. It seems a little like a soap opera.”
“Days of our Guantanamo lives.”
“You don’t need to ask me for anything, Luscious,” he rumbles, gaze cutting into me like goddamn razors. “I’ll give it to you, regardless.”
I am what you are. You are mine.
“Behind the scenes, my parents were always hassling me about not getting outside and having a real life. They didn’t understand that tech was my life. It was the only thing I wanted to do. I had millions of friends online, from gamers to social media. And yea, I guess it got sort of addicting. I felt like a god, in a way. I know it might sound stupid to people who don’t get it, but I had the world at my fingertips.”
“We are so fucked,” I cackle, and Luthor giggles along. “Bunch of fucking misfits,” he hums, wiping his eyes. “Cock cages and liars and fools.”
Fortunately for me, I’m used to disorder. It happens inside me all day every day, and even when I find something to hang onto, the world around me is still always spinning. It reminds me of Nietzsche… Chaos.
“Officer, inmate 101,”
“And your behavior clearly still needs work.”
“Luscious… you are perfection, baby.”
I’m without gravity; weightless and fluffy. For minutes on end, I have no idea where I am or what’s happening. All I can do is focus on the steady cadence of his heart beating into my back as it synchs up with mine.
“Such a pretty broken thing,”
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers
“You owe me a pair of sneakers,” I mumble,
“I’ll get right on i...
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“I want to kiss you so hard that everyone on this goddamn beach knows you’re mine, and only mine.”
“I want to fucking ravage you. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Mine,” he growls.
“You feel like a goddamn dream, Dascha Reznikov.”
“I think I lived for a long time with blinders on about my sexuality, but I had to come to terms with it on my own time. You don’t have to tell everyone in the world, because it’s not about anyone but you. Tell yourself, and the rest will work out. I promise.”
“My feelings for you are too strong to care about your past.”
my Dash wants ice cream, so ice cream he’ll get.
“Thank you. For being the best wife a closeted gay guy could ask for.”
“I’m gay.”
“Dascha… I love you,”
“I’ve never been in love before and yet I knew I loved you the second I saw you. I want to be here for you, and I don’t give a flying fuck what you’ve done. The world isn’t black and white, especially not with you. You’re a prism of color, reflecting every beautiful thing back, and I never want to let that go. Baby, I think…”
it. Baby, if there’s any sort of wound inside you, then I’ll be your tourniquet.”
I love him. He’s the best symptom of whatever crazy lives in my head.
The walls of protection your parents are supposed to build for you, we made that shit on our own.
I will destroy anyone who tries to get next to him. As long as I’m breathing on this earth, no one will lay a fucking hand on Dascha Reznikov, and that’s a goddamn promise. Clear?”
“Oh yea, that’s who you want raising kids,” I mutter. “A Schizophrenic fugitive.”
And I know I’ll always be a bit broken inside, but he said he wanted to bandage up my wounds, and he did just that.
