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To every single person reading this, with so, so, so much love and gratitude
I didn’t realize just how much I loved her until I was vomiting into a sink after showing my fucked-up friends the proof of her stolen virginity.
I won the bet, but I lost the only thing that has ever made me happy. And along with that, I lost every ounce of goodness she made me see in myself.
Ken turns to me, then back to his son. “Whatever you did to her, I hope it was worth losing the only good thing you had going for you,” he says and then drops his head.
My life before him was so simple and decided. Now… after him… it’s just… after.”
But the worst feeling in the world is loving someone who doesn’t love you.”
I know I fucked up big-time—but I love you. I need you.”
“I love you. I need you to give me a chance to make this up to you. I need you, Tessa. I need you. You need me, too—”
“Let me prove to you that I love you, please. I’ll do anything, Tessa. Anything.”
“I don’t know who I am without you anymore.”
“My conquest? Are you fucking serious right now? You aren’t some conquest of mine—you’re everything to me! You’re my breath, my pain, my heart, my life!”
want to tell him that I love him more than I want to breathe,
“Is that what you want to hear? That I miss you? Of course I miss you, but you know what? It’s not actually you that I miss, it’s who I thought you were, and now that I know who you really are, I want nothing to do with you!” I yell.
Imagine how it feels to have your life completely ripped apart within hours! Imagine how it feels to be so in love with someone that you give them everything, only to find out it was all a game, a bet! How do you think that feels!”
“So don’t you sit here and tell me that it’s been hard for you because you did this! You fucking ruined everything! Just like you always do, so you know what? I don’t feel sorry for you… Actually I do. I feel sorry for you because you will never be happy. You will be alone for the rest of your life, and for that I feel sorry for you. I’ll move on, find a nice man who’ll treat me the way you should have, and we’ll get married and have children. I will be happy.”
I don’t want anyone but her.
I love her; fuck, do I love her.
“You know I’m the only one who can make you feel like this… you know no one else can make you scream the way I can… no one knows exactly where to touch you,”
She’s mine and I’m hers.
She could make me the happiest man on earth, or she could crush me with one word.
My Tessa would never kiss a fucking stranger at a club!” he barks. “There is no ‘your’ Tessa,” I tell him.
“You know what? You’re right. And just to let you know, while you were kissing that guy? I was fucking Molly.”
“The best thing about reading is to escape from your life, to be able to live hundreds or even thousands of different lives.
When I turn the device on, I immediately smile, then sob. On the home screen there is a tab named Tess, and when I tap it with my finger, a long list of every novel Hardin and I have discussed, bickered over, or even laughed about appears.
“Well, he does love you. Unfortunately, love doesn’t always go hand in hand with common sense.”
“Do you really believe that he loves me?” “Yes, I do. I don’t know if I think you should forgive him, but if there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that he does love you.”
He told me you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen, but I thought he was exaggerating.”
This is torture for me to have you so close but so far. It’s the worst possible punishment. Not that I don’t deserve it, because I know I do, but it’s too much,”
“When you agreed to stay… I thought that maybe… maybe you still cared for me the way I do for you. But I see it, Tess, I see the way you look at me now. I see the pain I’ve caused. I see the change in you because of me. I know that I did this, but it still kills me to have you slip through my fingers.”
“Tessa?” Hardin’s mother says plainly. I turn around to face her once more. “You’ll come back to him, won’t you?”
I just want to hear the words behind the tears.
“Don’t let me go, Tess,” he whispers and closes his eyes.
“I want you to stay with me. I want you to forgive me and give me another chance. I know I’ve asked you too many times, but please, just give me one more chance. I can’t be without you. I’ve tried, and I know you have, too. There isn’t anyone else for either of us. If it’s not us, it’s nothing—and I know that you know that, too.”
“You hurt me, so terribly, Hardin.” “I know, baby, I know I did. I would give anything to take that back,”
“Actually I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t change anything. Well, I would have told you sooner, obviously,” he says. I snap my head up. He brings his up and stares right into me. “I wouldn’t take it back, because we wouldn’t have been together if I hadn’t done such a fucked-up thing. Our paths would have never really crossed, not in the way that has bonded us together so tightly. Even though it’s destroyed my life, without that stupid, evil bet, I wouldn’...
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“How will I know that you won’t hurt me again?”
“You won’t. Tessa, I can assure you that I will hurt you again. You will hurt me, too, but I can also assure you that I’ll never keep anything from you or betray you again. You may say some shit that you don’t mean, and God knows that I will, but we can work through our problems because that’s what people do. I just need this one last chance to show you that I can be the man you deserve. Please, Tessa. Please…” I beg.
“You love me, don’t you?” I ask, afraid of her answer. “Yes. More than anything.” She admits with a sigh.
“I love you, though. More than anyone ever could, and I swear I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you if you just let me.”
“Kiss me?” I practically beg. She doesn’t try to hide her amusement as she touches my forehead, brushing my hair back. God, I love when she does that. “Please?” I say. And she silences me by pressing her lips against mine.
This tattooed, rude, angry boy has gotten under my skin and into my heart, and I know that no matter how hard I try, I can’t get him out.
But I haven’t had a choice since I met him. I’ve been completely gone for him since the first time we kissed.
“You’re worried about getting me a gift for Christmas?” He laughs. “Tessa, honestly, you’ve given me everything. You worrying about a Christmas gift is ridiculous.”
God, she is beautiful.
again. I want to savor every second of this. I want it to be slow and I want her to feel how much I love her, how sorry I am for hurting her, and how I’m willing to do anything for her.
It’s dark meets light; it’s chaotic perfection; it’s everything I fear, want, and need.
She’s the perfect drug.
Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. I look up at Hardin and swallow the tears threatening to form. His mother didn’t get me this. He did.
“She isn’t going anywhere with you. She’s staying here with me, where she belongs.”
“That’s the point, isn’t it? That no man will want her, no man but me. She’ll never be with anyone but me,” I boast. “She will always choose me over you, over anyone.”