After We Collided (After, #2)

by Anna Todd

I jolt awake and sit up. Fuck. They keep coming, every night worse than the last. I got so used to them not coming that I could sleep. Because of her, it was all because of her.

Before I can stop him, Hardin has his hands on Trevor, gripping the collar of his suit as he slams him against a red truck.

“Is that what you want to hear? That I miss you? Of course I miss you, but you know what? It’s not actually you that I miss, it’s who I thought you were, and now that I know who you really are, I want nothing to do with you!”

What I want to do and what I know I should do are two totally different things.

“You know the worst part of all of this? It’s that you warned me, you said you would ruin me and I didn’t listen.”

My first time being intimate with someone is something I will never forget, and he’s ruined that.

I hate that everything makes me think of him.

“I don’t need to get laid.” I don’t want anyone but her.

He doesn’t know how enjoyable it is to lie in bed and make Tessa laugh, he doesn’t know how fun it is to hear her ramble on about her favorite novels, to have her swat at me when I try to grope her. It’s much better than any party that I’ve ever been to or will ever go to.

He laughs and leans into Kimberly. It must be so nice to be in a loving, trusting relationship. I envy Kimberly this, a shameful envy, but envy nonetheless. She has a man in her life who obviously cares for her and would do anything to make her happy. She’s so lucky.

“Drunk and pregnant already?” I say to her. “So? It’s past five,” she says with an evil grin. I shake my head at her right as she says, “Have a shot with me, Hardin,” and grabs a bottle of brown liquor and two shot glasses off the counter.

He’s exactly what she needs, and they’re a lot alike. Unlike her and I. He could make her happy.

“Molly!” I call from the couch. “What?” “Bring me another shot.” And even without looking at her, I can feel her victorious smile fill the room.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Molly says, slurring her words. Molly smells like pot and whiskey. Part of me wants to take her into the bathroom and fuck her, just because I can.

“I don’t want you,” I say harshly. “Since when? You didn’t have a problem fucking me all those other times.”

her arms around wildly. “Since you met that stuck-up bitch?” I have to remind myself that Molly is a female—and not the actual demon she acts like—before I do something stupid.

“Tell him, guys. Tell him that he’s a fucking snore ever since we outed him to her.” “Not we. You,” Zed corrects her.

No one wants you around anyway. That’s why Jace told me to tell her in the first place.” All I see is red. “He what?” I say through my teeth. I knew Jace was a dick, but I thought for sure it was Molly’s jealousy that drove her to reveal everything to Tessa the way she did. “Yeah, he told me to tell her. He had it all planned: I was going to tell her right in front of you after she had a couple drinks, then he was going to chase after her and comfort her while you were crying like a fucking baby.”

I immediately frown at the realization that Hardin hasn’t texted me. Maybe I should see what he’s up to? No. I can’t do that. That would be irresponsible and I would regret it tomorrow.

“Oh God, you’re trashed,” he says. Somehow I know that he’s running his fingers through his hair. “Where are you?” he asks again.

“So this was the plan, then? To take you to the conference and get you wasted and take you to a fucking club?” He raises his voice. “You need to go back to your hotel. You aren’t used to drinking and now you’re out and Trevor—”

Hardin is such a jerk, he’s the reason that we aren’t together, and he has the nerve to try to yell at me when I call him? He could be here with me right now if he hadn’t done what he did. Instead, Trevor is. Trevor, who is very sweet and very handsome.

I’ve kissed more guys in my three months at college than I have in my whole life.

When the pounding recommences, I throw all my thoughts aside and swing the door open, preparing for the worst. But it’s just Trevor. Disappointment stings in my chest, and I wipe at my eyes.

I then I hear it: “Tessa! Open this damn door!” Hardin’s voice booms through the air, as if no barrier at all stood between us. A light flips on behind me, and I see Trevor’s face pale with real fear.

“Hide in the bathroom,” I say, and Trevor’s eyes widen. “What? I can’t hide in the bathroom!” he exclaims, and I realize how ridiculous that idea is. “Open the fucking door!” Hardin yells again, and then he starts kicking it.

“You think you can get her drunk and come into her fucking hotel room!”

“He shouldn’t have been in here. Why was he in here? Why are you still dressed? And fuck, where did that dress come from?” he says, eyeing my body.

“Did you fuck him?” “What? How dare you even ask me that!” I shout. “Answer the question.” “No, you asshole. Of course I didn’t.”

“You heard me…” I say, and move to stand over Hardin. “Maybe I let the guy at the club take me into the bathroom. “Maybe Trevor took me on this bed,” I say and casually look back at the bed over my shoulder. “Shut up. Shut up now, Tessa,” Hardin warns me.

“You have two options here: you fuck me or you leave. You decide.”

I know this isn’t healthy, her antagonizing me this way and me fucking her while she’s drunk, but it seems neither of us can help it.

She could make me the happiest man on earth, or she could crush me with one word.

“I didn’t tell you to come here,” I retort. I haven’t decided how to handle this. I haven’t decided if I want to fight with him, to kick him out, or to try to handle this like an adult.

I thought I was moving on, and yet here is my heartbreaker in my room, and here I am with a massive hickey on my neck like some wild teenager.

“Are you kidding me? You come here and take advantage of me and have the nerve to insult me?” “Take advantage of you? You took advantage of me, Tessa! You know that I can’t say no to you—and you kept pushing and pushing!”

As much as I try to fight it, deep down I love having him here. Even if we’re fighting and yelling at each other, I’ve missed him so much.

We are walking this fine line between love and hate, anger and calm. It’s strange and surely toxic for me.

My Tessa would never kiss a fucking stranger at a club!” he barks. “There is no ‘your’ Tessa,” I tell him.

“You know what? You’re right. And just to let you know, while you were kissing that guy? I was fucking Molly.”

I feel an odd wave of anger toward Trevor for accusing Hardin of such a thing. He doesn’t know Hardin… but then again, neither do I, apparently.

I wish I had at least kissed him once more… No, I don’t. I must still be drunk.

Pieces of ripped-up airline tickets blow around the seat before I close the door. I will have to call and make sure I can get a credit for the unused tickets, otherwise I just blew two grand.

“Tessa kissed someone?” he asks, disbelief clear in his voice. “Yeah… some guy at a fucking nightclub.” I groan. I don’t want to think about that again. “Wow. She really is pissed at you,” he says.

What the hell is going on here that I am having some twisted heart-to-heart with Landon, of all people?

“She loves you. But because of how you betrayed her, she’s convinced that you never loved her,”

“The best thing about reading is to escape from your life, to be able to live hundreds or even thousands of different lives. Nonfiction doesn’t have that power—it doesn’t change you the way fiction does.”

I pick it up and pull the small Post-it note off the top. Happy Birthday—Hardin, it reads.

On the home screen there is a tab named Tess, and when I tap it with my finger, a long list of every novel Hardin and I have discussed, bickered over, or even laughed about appears.

No matter how wonderful his present was, he still slept with Molly.