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February 21 - February 21, 2025
He’s trying hard not to smile. “Let’s go, my demon,” he says, tossing cash on the bar counter.
Nikolai’s thumb skims my cheek, like I’m worthy of more affection. His gaze dances again. Along my lips.
“Don’t bring her into your shit,” Nikolai cuts in. He gestures to me with two fingers, and when I approach him, he slips his hand in mine. I relax almost instantly, muscles loosening that I didn’t even realize were strained.
His lips suddenly meet mine with force and urgency, his hands wrapping around my small frame like he’s wanted to hold me all night. My heart explodes.
He stares so deeply into me. “There is definitely something, my demon.” His lips rise more.
“Am I a mistake—” “No, myshka. You’re just the unexpected, beautiful thing in my life.”
I’ve found that life is a series of crossroads, dead-ends and U-turns. There is no real destination. There is no goal to end all goals. As long as we’re living, we’ll always keep driving.
He holds the back of my head protectively, caringly.
“But I’m not the kind of man who’d stand by while someone berates you. Even if he’s your friend.”
His gaze never leaves me as he snaps the new necklace around my collar. “There’s no confusion anymore, myshka.”
His breath warms my ear. And he whispers, “I choose you.”
“Because every part of me wants to take care of you.” One of his hands drifts to the back of my neck, the other beneath my wet shirt, around my hip. “And to do that, I’d slow down to your speed.”
But the things we love—the people we love—give us reason to keep living. To keep trying.”
“The things greater than us, Thora, they’re not impossible. It’s just fear talking, telling you that you can’t when you can. I know you can.”
“I’d help you every day so that you could see a better tomorrow. I will never give you less than that.”
“The way you look at me…” he breathes and shakes his head like there are no words to describe it.
The way you stare at me…it’s like…” His gray eyes light up. “It’s like you admire parts of me that no one else sees.”
“Whatever happens, just know that the parts of my life with you have been my favorite.”
“So every day, Timo, I am thankful for you, for Katya, for Luka—for giving me more than I had.”
“Don’t love me more than your dreams, myshka. Because I love you too much to let you give them up for me.”
“Thora,” he says lowly, “I taught you that routine. For months, I’ve been teaching it to you.”
In a billion pieces at the way he stares at me. At how he holds my face, caringly, like the love of his life just ran into his arms. He whispers something in Russian that I know means: I love you.
I trust this man. With my life. My heart. My soul.
“But I’ve found the truest form of love,” he tells me. “It’s two loves that can live in harmony.” He looks down at me. I stare up at him. My heart on an ascent. “The circus and you,” he whispers, “amour amour.” Two loves. Two passions. At perfect balance. I finally feel it too.
All because of a quote from Daisy Calloway. One person, one famous person changed another portion of my life with just a sentence: The aerial silk act stole the show for me, dangerous and beautiful.
