Some Girls Do

by Jennifer Dugan

I’ve been faking my smile for so long, I’m scared I don’t know what the real one feels like anymore.

I swear to god the whole universe falls away, and all I can think of is wanting.

just because a person doesn’t want to be alone doesn’t mean they want to talk about it.

“We’re proud that you’re proud, but I’m not proud.”

She seems relieved, like maybe she thought I was going to hit on her or try to convert her or something. And even though I’m smiling, inside my stomach hurts. Because why does this always have to be this huge, awkward thing? Just because I like girls doesn’t mean I like every girl.

“Hi, I’m Morgan.” My voice breaks as I swallow back some tears, because for the first time, maybe I’m exactly where I need to be, exactly where I fit. “I’m a lesbian. She/her. And I like to run.”

“I’m not spending my life pretending I’m something I’m not, or making myself smaller and quieter, just because someone else thinks I should.”

“You don’t owe your mom your future just because you think she gave up hers for you.”

Love is letting someone have the power to hurt you in ways you haven’t even thought of yet.

“You need this? Morgan, my coming out is mine. It’s not something to slap in your win column so you can feel better about yourself.”

“I realized that my ‘truth’ or whatever wasn’t more important than his reality.