Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

by Robert B. Cialdini

People say yes to someone they consider one of them. The experience of “we”-ness (unity) with others is about shared identities—tribe-like categories that individuals use to define themselves and their groups, such as race, ethnicity, nationality, and family, as well as political and religious affiliations. Research into “we”-groups has produced three general conclusions. Members of these groups favor the outcomes and welfare of fellow members over those of nonmembers. “We”-group members also use the preferences and actions of fellow members to guide their own, which enhances group solidarity. Finally, such partisan tendencies have arisen, evolutionarily, as ways to advantage our “we”-groups and, ultimately, ourselves. These three constants have surfaced in a wide range of domains, including business, politics, sports, and personal relationships. The perception of belonging together with others is one fundamental factor leading to feelings of “we”-ness. This perception is generated by commonalities of kinship (amount of genetic overlap) as well as by commonalities of place (including one’s home, locality, and region). The experience of acting together in unison or coordination is a second fundamental factor leading to a sense of unity with others. Shared musical experience is one way people can act together and feel consequent unity. Other ways involve repeated reciprocal exchange, joint suffering, and co-creation. It may be possible to use the unifying effects of belongin...