Carl's Doomsday Scenario (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #2)

by Matt Dinniman

“Well, congratulations, crawler. You are now Princess Donut the Level 13 Former Child Actor Cat. Welcome to the third fucking floor.”

The thing was a horse-sized, multi-breasted, pitch black goat monster that looked like it belonged on the cover of one of those 1980s heavy metal album covers, one where if you played it backward, the words would tell you to murder your grandma.

“Cats don’t drink cocktails,” I said. “Cats don’t shoot lasers from their eyes, either, but here we are, Carl. Mama needs a night off.”

“What about the probes?” Donut asked. “I remember them talking about the probes on television.” “I assume you’re talking about anal probes?” Evo asked. “Yes, we’ve heard about this, as well. If that really happened, it was likely done by the Null. You called them the Grays. They are a nasty, unpleasant race. Perverts, all of them.”