His chest tightened as if in the grip of a vise. He hated disappointing her, but he couldn’t change that, so he hated how she carried on with this righteous, breathless fury. He did not comprehend her motivations, so she seemed erratic to him, and as such he did not feel safe with her. He killed them, he wanted to say, if only he could make himself say such words out loud, but then she already knew that Rutland meant death. Yet here she was, carrying on. If he were to try to tell her of his shame, and his pain, and she still insisted he be her pious version of good, he might not find it in him
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This doesnt quite make sense becsuse he tells her everything
