Finale (Academy of Stardom, #4)

by Bea Paige

Dax

He doesn’t get to fuck with her, with us. He will die.

We sealed that promise with a kiss, her first kiss, one that scorched away all kisses that came before that point until they were nothing but dust. I had known in that moment, when she’d looked up at me with flushed cheeks and love in her eyes, and asked me if I’d always protect her, that I would. That I would die to protect her. She was always my hope, my home, and I was always her dark angel. So, you see, it doesn’t matter that I’m bleeding out. It doesn’t matter that my skin is pale, and my heart is fighting to keep me alive. It doesn’t matter that Xeno is roaring at me to stay the fuck down, or York is beating a man to a pulp to get to me. It doesn’t matter that Zayn is cutting through more men to do the same, his knife glinting in the light, blood dripping from the blade. All that matters right now in this fucking moment is Kid. If it’s the last thing I ever do, I will kill that cunt David. I will set her free of the cage he’s inflicted on her soul. That’s my final vow as I push myself up off the floor and stagger towards him. “No fucking more!” I roar.

Pen

“I’ve got you,” Dax says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder, and guides me from the room and further along the hallway in this house I’ve never stepped inside before tonight. I turn into his side, burying my tear-streaked face into his chest as I attempt to swallow down the sobs, concerned that she’ll hear and wake up. “Take the room furthest on the right. I’ve got it ready for you all,” a kind, female voice says as Dax hesitates in the hallway unsure where to take me.

“I appreciate it, Louisa,” Dax rumbles, hugging me to his side tighter and pressing a kiss against the top of my head. “We’re sorry to intrude like this.” Louisa nods, her eyes kind, if a little wary. “You’re not intruding when you’ve been invited. Besides, the kids are with their Grandad this weekend.” She hesitates, her eyebrows pulling together in a frown as she looks at me. I can tell there’s more she wants to say but must think better of it. “The others are downstairs in Hudson’s office if you need them.” “Will you tell them I’m staying put with Pen, that they should come up as soon as they’re done?” “Of course, I will.” Louisa flicks her eyes to me and gives me a gentle smile. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“He managed to get to Mum, Dax!” I cry. My chest rattles with more emotion that I don’t want to set free, afraid that if I do, I might never find the strength to recover. “I would die before I let him hurt you or Lena! We all would,” Dax replies, squeezing me tighter against his chest. I believe him, I do, and that only makes me more fearful, not less. I can’t lose him, any of them. I won’t survive it. “No! Don’t talk like that. I wouldn’t be able to bear it!” Twisting in his lap and straddling his thighs with mine, I claw at his shoulders, my fingernails digging into the back of his neck as I press my forehead against his.

“We’re not going anywhere, Kid. You have us for life, nothing and no one will take you from us, or us from you. I fucking swear it.”

I can choose to run, to hide behind the Breakers, behind Grim and Beast, or I can fight back. There really is no choice.

“This is just a blip—” he responds. “A blip?” I spit the word out, regretting my reaction immediately. “That’s not what I…” He heaves a sigh, then tries again. “I just meant that you can be vulnerable, you can lean on us. Do that now, let us be strong for you.” I shake my head, panic rising in my chest because he’s not getting it. “You’re already so strong,” he pushes on. “So fucking strong. I’m just saying that every once in a while you can break⁠—” “No,” I reply, cutting him off and hating the way my voice sounds so harsh. “I don’t mean it like that.” “Then what do you mean? What are you saying exactly?”

“I’m done being a victim. The second he left that note I knew.” “Knew what?” “That when he comes, and he will come, that I have to be ready for him…” “Kid, listen—” Dax begins, his eyes flaring with understanding. He knows what I mean. He gets it now. Understanding leaches into his eyes, the grey-green swirling with worry. “I want you to teach me how to fight back. I want you to teach me how to be like you all. I want you to teach me how to kill David.”

Pen

Dax stiffens, his hands tightening over my own. “He’ll never get close enough to you, Kid. You won’t need to fight back. We’ll protect you. This time we’ll do it right.”

“Don’t you understand? I can’t be vulnerable anymore, Dax. I need to know how to defend Lena, to kill David if it gets to that point. When it gets to that point.” “You don’t know what you’re asking of me,” he replies, his gaze flicking behind me.

“Pen, this is grief talking,” Zayn says, stepping towards me. The look he gives me is one of regret and sorrow, as though what happened today is as much his fault as it is mine. “Tomorrow you’ll see clearer.” “No!” I snap, shaking my head. “It isn’t grief. This is self-preservation. This is realisation. This is me growing the fuck up. Even if David was thrown behind bars he’d find a way to get to Lena, to you all, to me. This only ends when he’s dead. I’m just sorry I was too stubborn, too fucking self-righteous to see that before now.” York shakes his head, stepping towards me. “It’s vengeance. You’re too good for that. Too fucking pure, Titch. Don’t sully your soul, don’t darken it for that monster. Trust me when I say there’s no coming back once you head down that road.” “I disagree. This is Tiny being smart,” Xeno says, earning him glares from York and Zayn, and a sigh of resignation from Dax. “You can’t be fucking serious! What happened to your mantra ‘I kill so you don’t have to’? Has that suddenly changed?” Zayn snaps,

“You were willing to fly to Mexico, into certain death, to try and kill that fucker, and now you’re okay with Pen seeking him out and doing the same? Do you want that on your conscience, Pen’s light snuffed out because she killed her brother when it should've been one of us?” “I didn’t say that. Fuck, you know that I don’t want Tiny to step into the darkness,” Xeno replies, glancing from Zayn to me despairingly. “I don’t want you with blood on your hands even if it belongs to that cunt. Of course I fucking don’t!”

this. Don’t you?” He nods. “Yes, I do. I understand only too well.” Stepping towards me, Xeno scrapes a hand through his hair. He stops before reaching me, the shaking in his hands telling me that he’s close to losing control. Swallowing hard I meet his gaze and grit my jaw, drawing on the last reserves of strength inside of me. I need to be strong, not just for Lena, but for him, for all of them. “I need to do this.” “I will always step in, Tiny. I will kill for you. I will take David’s life and bear the burden of it. I will always be that man because I fucking love you, just like I love you all,” he says, looking between us. “Good. Then we protect Lena and Titch. We keep them safe until David’s dead,” York adds, focusing on me. “You don’t have to get involved. You don’t have to blacken your soul.”

“You’re missing the point, York. Tiny needs to be able to defend herself. She needs to be able to do that. She feels powerless. We can help her to find strength.” “You’re implying we’ll let David get close enough to hurt her!” York roars back, frustration and fear winning out in the moment. “That ain’t gonna happen!”

“For better or worse, Tiny walks in our world now, and we all know how fucking dangerous it is. David isn’t the only one she needs to worry about. You know that.” “But—” “I know you’ll walk into the fires of Hell to protect her, York. We all would, but so...

“At the very least, we teach Pen how to protect herself. If that means knowing how to kill a man should she ever find herself in a position when that’s the only choice she can make, then that’s what we have to do.”

Dax helps me take off the hoodie I’m wearing, leaving me in York’s shirt that I’d borrowed earlier today and my own loose fitting trousers. He strips down to his t-shirt and boxers, York, Xeno and Zayn following suit, an unspoken agreement that we’ll be spending the night together. All of us. “What if Lena wakes up?” I mutter. “Gray has the room next to Lena. He’ll come and get one of us should she wake up,” Zayn says, closing the distance between us.

“How long will we stay here for?” “Long enough to make sure the flat’s secure, put out some feelers and move your things from the Academy to our place. A couple days, max,” Dax says, casting a look over my head to Xeno. “Wait. You want me to move in?” “There’s no way you’re staying at the Academy after this. Of course you’re living with us, permanently,” Xeno says, his voice brooking no arguments. He presses a soft kiss against my temple to temper the abruptness of his response. “But Lena…” I begin, wanting so much to move in with them, even if the circumstances overshadow the warm feeling in my stomach. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, to live with them, to never be parted again. Zayn squeezes my thighs gently in reassurance. “...Will move in too.” My eyes fill with tears as I look down at him. “She’s not your responsibility,” I whisper, my voice catching as reality settles in. “She’s your family and that makes Lena our family too,” he counters.

York makes an annoyed sound. “You’re so used to handling everything yourself, but that stops today. Let us help you. We want to do that. Fuck, Titch, haven’t we made it clear enough? We. Love. You.” “I know, but⁠—” “No buts! When people love and care for each other they step the fuck up. Lena needs you, but she also needs a roof over her head. Right now that’s going to be too difficult for you to do on your own. We’ll help you to give her that, okay?” he continues. “Okay,” I croak,

“Good. Now let us soothe you, Pen. We got you, okay?” Zayn murmurs, his hands firm but gentle, matching the pressure of Xeno’s fingers. I nod, and for long minutes the pair massage my aching muscles, easing some of the tension I feel. When my eyelids begin to droop, Xeno presses a gentle kiss against the top of my head. “Get under the covers, Tiny.” Zayn’s hands fall away, and he grips the mattress either side of my hips before standing. Leaning over, he presses a delicate kiss against my lips. “I love you, Pen,” he whispers.

“Sleep,” he urges. With the little energy I have left, I crawl towards Dax and York and settle between them both. Instinctively, I press my cheek against York’s chest, wrap my arm around his waist and snuggle into his side breathing in the lingering scent of his aftershave. Heady notes of pineapple and jasmine waft over me and I relax into the richness of his scent. “We’ll keep you safe. I promise,” he says passionately, brushing away the hair from my face and pressing a kiss against my forehead. We both know it’s his last attempt at convincing me that I don’t need to learn how to kill David. “I know you will, and I love you all for it,”

“Cute,” Zayn remarks from the side of the bed, as he looks down at the three of us. “Looks like I’ve lucked out on being the big spoon once again.” A smile plays about his eyes, a soft chuckle releasing from his lips to let us all know he’s just kidding. “If you’re that bothered, you can spoon me. There’s plenty of room. This bed is huge,” Dax replies with a smile in his voice that draws the tiniest bit of laughter from me.

Zayn sighs and slips under the covers behind Dax. “I draw the line at spooning you, big boy.” “Afraid you might like it?” Dax asks, snickering as he nuzzles my neck. His cock hardens at our closeness, but he doesn’t act on it, knowing that what I need most in this moment is his unwavering comfort, and their warmth and affection. “I love you, mate, but not that much,” Zayn retorts with a huff. “Stop talking, Tiny needs to sleep. She needs rest,” Xeno admonishes,

Xeno pulls back the covers and climbs in behind York. He tucks the pillow beneath his arm, propping his head up a little as York trails his fingers up and down my bare arm, pressing gentle kisses against the top of my head. I can feel his heart thumping beneath his rib cage. It thunders in love, compassion and solidarity. “Close your eyes, Tiny. Sleep,” Xeno gently commands, watching me.

“We’ll all be here when you wake up and every day that follows for the rest of our lives.” And without a shadow of doubt, I know that they will, but only if David isn’t alive to ruin it.

Dax

“I was smoking a joint on my balcony, just chilling, when I saw the delivery driver pull up. Honestly, the only reason he caught my attention was because Mrs Ray, a sweet old lady who’s lived on the estate since it was built back in the fifties, stopped dead in her tracks the second she laid eyes on the bloke. She dropped her pint of milk, and it smashed all over the concrete. Then she just turned on her heel and went inside her flat. For an eighty year old, she sure as fuck moved fast.” “Then what?” I ask, urging him to continue. “Then I did a really fucking stupid thing…” Zayn cocks his head. “And what was that?” “I decided to go check this dude out. I was high, bored, feeling restless over a bit of pussy…” I raise my brows and he just shakes his head as though to dislodge the thought of that bit of pussy from his head. “By the time I reached the block, the delivery driver was coming down the stairs, a flight above me. I got that feeling in my stomach, you know what I mean, when you know you need to make yourself scarce,” he says, looking at me for agreement. “Yeah, I know what you’re saying. That feeling has saved all of us countless times in our line of business,” I agree.

“The delivery driver passed by me, pulling off a pair of black gloves and shoving them in his pizza bag. There was something sticking out of the corner of the bag. I don’t know what it was, maybe the handle of a knife or something? But it wasn’t even that that made me glad I’d stayed hidden. It was the fact that the guy was smiling.” “Smiling?” I ask, my blood running cold. “Yeah, smiling, in a sick, twisted way, like he’d just fucked someone up and was getting a kick out of it.” Zayn looks at me and I nod. “And this guy, describe him to me.” “Maybe mid-twenties? He was wearing a cap, light brown hair. Straight nose. Stubble. About your height and physique. Good looking, I guess, with a side of fucking psycho,” he says, nodding at Zayn. “That’s all I got.” “And the license plate of the moped. You didn’t happen to notice that?” “No. Sorry. I didn’t.”

Pen

“Dax and Zayn not being here might’ve freed up the bed, but I woke up with York practically crushing me. The bastard used me as his personal cuddle toy. I think he thought I was Tiny. The arsehole got a bit of a shock when he woke up to find a fist in his gut.”

“Pen?! PEN!” Lena stands suddenly, her chair toppling over from the force. My skin prickles at the sound of her misery and heartbreak. It scratches down my spine, piercing my gut and fanning my rage, the violence and my need to lash out at the man who did this to her, to us. “Lena!” I call back, shrugging out of Xeno’s hold and rushing forward. Her head whips around, her eyes frantic until she focuses on me. They’re filled with a never ending sadness so deep that I fear we both might drown. “Hey, Lena…” York says softly, reaching for her hand with gentle fingers and empathy, but she shakes him away, focusing only on me. On the other side of the table Gray stands, concern etching his features with shadows and lines.

“Pen!” Lena cries as I pull her into my arms and hold her close. Her wails of grief fill the air and make the hair on the back of my neck stand. I break with her, for her, but there are no outward signs, just unending sympathy and a hate that expands and billows until I feel sick with it. I’ve always hated David, I’ve wished him dead countless times, but I’ve never wanted to make that happen with my own bare hands until now. “Hush, I’m here. I’m here.” “She’s dead, Pen. She’s gone!” she wails,

“I know, Lena. I know,” I murmur, supporting her weight as I ease her back into the chair York has picked up off the floor and placed behind her. “She’s never coming back, is she?” she asks me as she cries for a mother who loved her fiercely but never extended that same kind of love, any kind of love, to me. “Pen, tell me this is all a dream. Tell me Mum’s okay. Please.” I shake my head, blinking back my own tears, refusing to let them fall, determined to remain strong, unbreakable. I dig deep, knowing that all I can do right now is tell her the truth. “Mum’s never coming back, Lena. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Pen

Four boxes each, that’s all we have to our name. Not that it matters. Possessions mean nothing so long as we have each other.

Dax narrows his eyes at me. “I might not be York, but I know that look, Kid. What is it?” “I want to be here for Lena, not some stranger she barely knows.” “You are, Pen, but you’re one person and you can’t do it all,” Zayn points out. “That’s my point. I’m going to call Madame Tuillard tomorrow. I’m giving up my spot at the Academy⁠—” For a beat silence descends, then Dax narrows his eyes at me. “The fuck you are!” he exclaims, the sudden fury in his voice making me jump. He strides over to me and grips my shoulders, ducking his head to look me in the eye. “You are not giving up on your dream. No fucking way.” “It doesn’t seem so important anymore,” I counter, telling him a half-truth in the hope he’ll leave it at that. I shrug my shoulders as though it really doesn’t mean anything to me to leave my dream behind when, truthfully, it absolutely does. It fucking kills me, but it’s nothing compared to this feeling I’m carrying with me now. York was right, I do need vengeance. I may not have loved my mother, but Lena did. David’s broken her. Day by day I’ve watched her withdraw into herself, and I want payback.

“Fuck that, Pen! Dax is right,” Zayn says fiercely. “You do not let that cunt win. This is what he wants, what he’s always wanted. You do not fucking give up your dream. Hear me?” Gritting my jaw, I turn to face them both. “What’s the point wasting my time there waiting on David to make his next move when that time could be better spent hunting him down and helping Hudson draw out Santiago. You know I’m right.” “We can still do all of that, Kid, but you give up dance, the very essence of who you are, and David’s already won. You may as well just offer yourself up to him now and be fucking done with it!” Dax shouts, his eyes blazing with anger. He’s never, not once, shouted at me like this.

“You keep fighting, that’s what you do. You keep dancing. You embrace the warrior within you, the one that danced on the table in Tales and brought the four of us to our goddamn knees. You funnel that girl still within you who took the punches and the kicks from that motherfucker and survived them.” “It’s not as simple as that,” I say, balling my fists. “It is that simple. You dance. You fight. You win. End of.” “But how can I dance knowing what he’s done, what he wants to do? How can I carry on like nothing’s happened? Tell me, how?” I ask Dax,

“What good is dance when all is said and done? It won’t protect me from David. It’s only ever acted as a beacon for his hatred. It brought him here after all.” Zayn flinches, his nostrils flaring. One minute he’s glaring at me, the next he’s striding across the room and grabbing my hand. “Come with me, right the fuck now.” He doesn’t give me a chance to protest, he simply pulls me from the room, throwing a look over his shoulder at Dax. “Get the guys. They’re needed in the studio. Tell Gray to order pizza, put a movie on or something. Have him keep Lena company, keep her occupied whilst we deal with this situation.” “I am not a situation,” I protest, indignation riling me up further. “Don’t fucking fight me on this, Pen, or so help me God, I’ll do something we’ll both regret!”

“We promised we would help you to learn how to fight, to kill. We’re doing that not because we want to, but because we know you need to feel in control again. I get it, even if I don’t like it, but I’ll be damned if you turn your back on dance because the guilt over what’s happened has messed with your head and twisted you up inside. You are not leaving the Academy.”

“Mark my words, Penelope, you’re going to regret ever fucking me over.” I claw my fingers, racking them over the apparition before me, wishing for blood and getting nothing but thin air. “Just know this, Penelope. I’m gonna kill your precious Breakers, then I’m going to kill Lena and then when you’ve lost everyone you love, I’m coming for you. When that day comes, there will be no one left to protect you.” “NO!” I shout, frantic as I punch and kick. Oblivious to anyone but the phantom taunting me. Whore. Bitch. Slut. Slapper. Scum. Worthless. Little. Cunt. All the horrible things he’s ever said to me over the years bombard me now as I punch and kick. Rage and scream.

Zayn

Powerless. Helpless. Fucking useless. That’s how I feel watching Pen lose herself to the agony her cunt brother has caused.

My throat closes the second Look After You by Aron Wright begins to filter through the speakers. “Fuck,” Dax says, blowing out a long breath and swiping a hand over his face as he stares at our girl.

Turning my attention back to Pen, I rest my hand on her arm as one by one the guys sit down on the floor around her. Xeno places his hand on her hip whilst Dax reaches for her leg, his large hand squeezing gently. York strokes her hair, his fingers sliding over the silky strands. We all need to touch her. We need to connect, need to show her that we’re here, that we always will be. She lies still, her eyes pressed shut, her face covered in tears as we comfort her with gentle touches, silent but for the music playing.

“Titch?” York says gently, reaching for her, but his hand falls away when he reads her body language. Pulling her legs up, she rests her chin on top of them, wrapping her arms around herself in comfort. Dax’s nostrils flare as he sucks in a breath at the rejection and York shifts uncomfortably, swiping a shaking hand through his hair. It may seem like nothing to a stranger, but the Pen we know would have reached for one of us instead. She’s cutting herself off, and I realise then what path she’s choosing. That hurts. It motherfucking hurts.