Loveless

by Alice Oseman

I couldn’t admit to them how desperately I wanted to be in a romantic relationship. Because I knew it was pathetic. Trust me. I completely understood that women should want to be strong and independent and you don’t need to find love to have a successful life. And the fact that I so desperately wanted a boyfriend—or a girlfriend, a partner, whoever, someone—was a sign that I was not strong or independent or self-sufficient or happy alone. I was really quite lonely, and I wanted to be loved.

It would be so much easier if I had someone to just tell me what to do and who to be with and how to act and what love actually was.

I hated her. I wanted to be her. I hated myself.

And I could have been so happy, but love ruined me.”

“I just … I hate the idea of people knowing me because … surely then they’ll hate me the same way I hate myself.”