Lilac

by B.B. Reid

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Lo mumbled without looking at me. He was busy staring through the windshield at his father, who was standing on his massive front porch, fuming and holding Loren’s medallion, which hung from his fingers. Wasting no time, I hit the gas. I then flipped off Orson James through my lowered window when I sped off with his only son riding shotgun.

If Braxton stayed, I needed it to be because she wanted to. It was her love I was after, not her pity.

“Shut up.” They were his first words in three weeks. His voice was low and cracked from going so long without it, but it didn’t matter because, right now…he commanded the room. He made everyone listen, including Braxton, who was staring at him now. There was concern, confusion, and sadness in her brown eyes, but his silver gaze was directed at Oni, so he didn’t notice.

The truth that I’d fallen in love and the fact that we could never be. I haven’t been okay. I’d forgotten how to be without them, eat without them, sleep without them. I couldn’t even remember how to string a fucking chord without them. Trust me—I’ve tried to write many a sad song in order to purge these unrelenting thoughts inside my head.

As much as I was annoyed by the pitbull, I was just as relieved that Braxton had someone to look out for her after what she’d escaped in Faithful. It was obvious her friends would defend her to their last breath, but so would we.

The elevator ride up was awkward as hell. No one spoke until we reached the eleventh floor. The girls got off and immediately turned when we didn’t follow. “Where are you going?” Braxton questioned with a frown. She’d forgotten that she wasn’t supposed to care. The doors were already sliding close when Loren answered. “Penthouse, baby!” Her friends rolled their eyes while Braxton hid her smile when Loren winked at the last second. I immediately turned to him as soon as the doors were closed. We were only one floor above them, so it would be a short ride.

“I was never going to choose Emily over Braxton. I was never going to choose her over you or Houston. I just needed time to realize that myself, Lo.” “Why should I believe that? You did it the first time.” “Marrying Emily was not choosing her over you, Loren. She was my girlfriend. You were my friend.” “Funny,” he retorted while staring at the wall behind me, “since I recall begging you not to.” “I thought you were jealous,” I whispered honestly, and he groaned while throwing his head back. “Seriously?” he spat. “I’ve busted nuts that lasted longer than my feelings for you. It was a crush, Rich, not a confession of love. I didn’t want you to marry Emily because you deserved better, and I didn’t mean me. You know she tried to fuck Houston a week after you were married, right? He slapped the shit out of her and then told her to tell you why he did it.”

Loren pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes as my grip loosened again. I didn’t like how weak he made me. “Don’t pretend you don’t remember how it was, Rich. I do the fucking, not you.” “Why did you?” I finally asked. That night had taken a turn neither of us intended, but we never felt the need to do it again. Our resentment for one another wouldn’t allow for attraction. Obviously, something had changed since I felt my dick getting harder with each word he spoke.

“Good girl. Tonight, we take care of your pussy. Tomorrow, we see about your heart.” “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” she muttered bitterly. Loren’s lips quirked. “One’s not as stubborn as the other, but rest assured, baby fawn, we’ll have them both.”

“What do you deserve? Do you even know?” “No.” “Don’t you want me anymore?” she asked, her voice shaking and making it clear that she was no longer sure. Houston, Rich, and I had nearly identical reactions at almost the same time. I held back my groan as my eyes closed, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was pretty sure I’d murder Rich if he lied to her on some self-sacrificing bullshit. If there was an excuse to be selfish, it was now. Choose wisely, motherfucker.

“Is it me, or was this her plan all along?” He shifted his gaze back to me before Rich could answer. “You didn’t have to deprive us of your pussy to get what you want, baby fawn. Even if we hadn’t fucked before, right here, in this very bed you’re sitting on,” he said, dropping more than one bomb without preamble, only pointed pauses, “we still would have given you high doses of whatever the fuck you want. Houston, too, though it’s not his thing.”

“He already threatened to top me if I don’t behave. Did you know that?” he teased. I shook my head. “I’m almost excited to see him try if it gets you as wet as I’m sure you are right now.” Loren was right. I was ruining my panties with each word he spoke.

Loren turned his head, meeting Jericho’s gaze, and gave him another order. “Kiss me.” Heat enflamed my stomach when neither of them hesitated. Their lips crashed together with a desperation that wasn’t there the first time I witnessed them together. Loren’s hand left my face when he used it to pull Rich closer. They weren’t shy about using their tongues either or as careful with each other as they were with me.

“Come here, baby.” I went to him without question, and our lips crashed together with a hungry moan from us both. We were still kissing when Loren shuddered moments later and released my lips suddenly with an, “Ah, fuck.” My gaze shot to the edge of the bed where Rich was kneeling between Loren’s legs with his mouth full of his best friend’s cock.

Rich was right. I wouldn’t last six more days. I wasn’t sure I’d make it six more minutes.

“Fuck, I forgot how good you were at this,” Loren said with a groan as he tossed his head back. His abs contracted each time Rich deep throated him—something I hadn’t been able to master yet—and each time, I felt my control slip and fought the urge to touch myself or beg one of them to do it. I wanted to fuck, and I wanted to be fucked, but right now, only my need to watch them together mattered.

“Rich—” “Shh. I just want to feel you,” he reassured me before his lips quirked. “It’s been a while, and I’ve only done this once. I might need the distraction.” I heard what sounded like a top popping open and looked over his shoulder to see Loren squirting lube into his palm as he stared at Rich with nothing but lust and intent. Oh. Well, in that case.

Jericho’s hard cock was pressed against my belly, and I squirmed at the temptation to beg him to put it inside of me. I couldn’t. If only for one more night, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to miss a second of them.

Loren smiled at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back. It wasn’t until Rich tensed and groaned in my arms that I realized what Loren was up to. I hadn’t noticed his hand. Or his long fingers probing the muscled globes of Rich’s ass. The sight transfixed me, my lips parting when I felt Jericho’s tongue teasing my nipple as I watched. He wasn’t supposed to be touching me, but at this moment, I could deny him whatever he needed no more than my next breath. I could try, but eventually, inevitably, I’d give in or perish.

He was staring down at his best friend as he burrowed himself deeper. The lust and desire written on Loren’s face were so palpable I clung to Rich in order to keep my fingers from finding my clit.

“Do you remember how it was?” Loren asked as he continued to work himself inside. “Do you remember how good it felt?” It seemed to take all of Rich’s strength to break our kiss and open his eyes. Looking over his shoulder, he met Loren’s gaze. “Yes.” “Good.” Loren wrapped his arm around Rich’s waist. “Me too.” It was the drummer’s only warning before Loren shoved his cock to the hilt. “Oh, fuck,” Rich barked. He tried to run, but Loren held him still. There was nowhere for him to go sandwiched between us anyway. “Fuck you, man. Fuck you.” Loren’s only response was to groan from the feeling of being buried deep inside his best friend. “This ass is mine, Noble.”

“Yes,” I cried out as he fucked me while Loren fucked him. Soon after, my eyes drifted closed against my will, and I was left with only the feeling of Rich’s fingers, the sound of Loren’s grunts and Jericho’s groans, the taste of cherries on my tongue, and the smell of morning dew and berries.

“We didn’t have sex.” I paused. “Well, I didn’t.” I paused again when I remembered that I wasn’t entirely innocent. “It was my idea, though.”

Have faith, the angel on my shoulder whispered. Unfortunately, the devil who was never far away still felt a little raw and wasn’t in the mood today. Shut. The fuck. Up.

I quickly climbed into his lap so that we were eye level and held his face in my hands so that he couldn’t look away. “Houston, no. Your parents chose to leave you with memories of them happy because those were the ones they wanted you to have. They loved you. I wish that it had been enough, but you were the reason they held on as long as they could. I know it like I know the last thing they want is for you to blame yourself.”

I was pressed for time, but when I stood, I couldn’t help but lean against one of the bedposts to watch them sleep. My bad boy. My vain princess. My sad emo. The three of them slept soundly. Loren had his face buried in Jericho’s neck as he spooned him from behind with a strong arm curled around his naked waist. It wasn’t how they’d gone to sleep, so the two of them must have found each other at some point. I smiled. Loren claimed he wasn’t one to cuddle. Jericho and I had both proven him wrong.

Hoping Laine hadn’t forgotten that I was coming this early, I was debating whether to call or simply knock on her door when I heard my name softly spoken. Apprehension rippled through me before I could even turn to face the person who’d posed my name like a question. I didn’t recognize the petite girl now standing in the driveway. Where had she come from? Even in the semi-dark, I could see that she was a few years older even though she looked young. And her hair wasn’t just platinum. It was stark white, a color that could only be accomplished with dye. She had pale skin and piercings in her nose and lips, but what gave me pause wasn’t that I didn’t know her. It was yesterday’s eyeliner.

“You’re Braxton Fawn, right?” Only then did I realize I’d never responded. “Who wants to know?” She brought her thin arms around, showing me the bat she carried. I backed up a step, but it was too late. “Emily,” she cheerily supplied. She barely finished speaking her name before she brought the bat up and swung. The first thing I lost was my feet when the bat connected with my head. I hit the ground with a cry, and that was the last thing I heard when my hearing went next. I could feel the first crack in my skull and my blood running down my forehead, though. She hit me again and my cheek connected with the concrete with a hard smack. I didn’t question how I could turn my head and see that her lips were still spread. Emily’s smile never wavered. It was also the last thing I saw when she took my vision with her third swing. The bat connected and I finally, mercifully, lost consciousness too.

If Loren was awake, that means he’d heard it too. Houston and I weren’t imagining things. My eyes drifted open for the first time to see if Braxton was awake and wondering the same thing. The spot where she’d slept between Houston and me was empty. “She’s not here,” I said more to myself than to them as my heart began to race. Having noticed, too, Houston was already up, grabbing his phone, and heading for the door. “Get the fuck up,” he barked at us both.

I wanted to find Braxton and celebrate. Maybe put a baby in her instead. Yeah… I liked that idea so much more. “Thanks for stopping by, Emily. Let me show you the door.” I turned away to do just that. “Show me the—wait…are you kidding me?” she screeched, forcing me to face her again. “That’s it? You’re kicking me out?” “Yup,” Houston and Loren said at the same time. “See ya.”

“What the fuck?” Loren barked. Turning to face them, I found Emily holding Loren at gunpoint while waving Braxton’s phone in the air. “As I was saying,” she taunted, “I’m not going anywhere.” The look Loren gave me told me he was more annoyed at the inconvenience than afraid for his life. “I told you not to marry her.” “Shut up! Just shut up!” Emily screamed. “This is all your fault! You ruined everything!” She walked up to him with a vicious smile. “So how about I kill you first? You can join your little slut and rest in pieces.” The irritation left’s Loren’s face until there was nothing left. Only the sheet of ice that seemed to cover the room. “Where is she? What did you do?” Houston asked her calmly.

Gun or no gun, there were three of us and one of her. She’d turned her back on me, and now we already had her surrounded. Loren would take that bullet if he had to. For Braxton. For us.

“In hell by now, I suppose. I bashed her skull in and left her bleeding.” I felt my knees buckle at her announcement. The breath that rushed out of my chest caused me to tremble violently. What Emily was telling us couldn’t be true. No way Braxton was dead. It wasn’t possible. My heart wouldn’t continue to beat even for a moment after hers stopped. I believed it so much I held on to that irrational hope. “Sweet ride she was driving too,” Emily continued to taunt. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind that I borrowed it considering she’s dead and all.” “Emily,” Loren said with a humorless chuckle. He smiled at the ceiling, and I knew he was close to losing it. “Pull that trigger right now, and hope you kill me.” I knew it wasn’t simply a threat. He wanted to die.

“Because you would have never shared me with them. I make you jealous. She doesn’t.” “Yet he wouldn’t hesitate to push you in front of a train,” Loren deadpanned. “Not to mention,” Houston added, “I would rather stick my dick in a garbage disposal.”

I wasn’t looking at Emily when she aimed for my heart. I was staring at my friends and memorizing their faces as they rushed to stop Emily before she could pull the trigger. Too late.

Vanilla. Rustic, mouthwatering, and warm when it wanted to be. The face it conjured had a strong jaw, rigid mouth, brown hair, and intense green stare. Just like before, I inhaled again. Just like before, it gave me something different. Berries. Sweet, nourishing, and addicting. I couldn’t get enough once I had a taste. It came with sad silver eyes, shaggy black hair, and the pinkest lips pierced. Jericho. My heart sighed his name, and the others immediately followed. Houston. Loren. How could I have forgotten them? It may have only been a day, but even a moment was too long. I’d never forgive myself. I was even more desperate to see them now that I knew. Lilac. Love smells like lilac. Love is lilac.

“I’m dumb,” Rich returned with a sneer, “but you were sucking my dick two hours ago. Make it make sense, Lo.” Loren shrugged as he licked icing off his thumb while staring at our best friend. “I was excited and feeling generous because Braxton was coming home. Sue me.”

We’d gotten married. The four of us—to each other. I wore a dress, we had the ceremony, and we exchanged the rings—the whole nine. And I didn’t just wear their ring or they mine. No. Houston, Loren, and Rich also wore rings from each other—a symbolism of their devotion to each other and to me.