How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

by Logan Ury

WHY ARE MAXIMIZERS LIKE THIS? Anxiety plagues Maximizers. It’s not just FOMO (fear of missing out). They also suffer from the less catchy FOMTWD (fear of making the wrong decision). They think maximizing will help them make the perfect choice and alleviate their anxiety. But FOMTWD creates an immense amount of pressure. Anything less than perfection feels like failure. This happens to me when I travel. Even if a trip unfolds almost perfectly, when I make a mistake—like booking a hotel far away from the center of town—I can’t help but feel like I failed. I think, If only I’d done just a little more research. I have to fight to prevent this feeling from ruining the trip. Hardly anything exacerbates the Maximizer tendency more than choosing a long-term partner. Maximizers fear making a mistake. What if I get divorced and have to raise my children on my own? What if I dread coming home after work because I have nothing to say to my wife? What if I’m so bored that I have an affair?

Ahhh.. I can totally relate.