How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

by Logan Ury

This is why Domino’s Pizza lets you follow along as your pizza is “fired up,” “in the oven,” and “double-checked for perfection.” We all know how pizza delivery works. But when you see effort, you appreciate value. We can apply the same lessons to planning dates. Act more like that second travel search engine by letting your date know about the things you’ve done to make the experience special. It’s not about bragging or exaggerating; it’s about making your efforts apparent so your date can appreciate them more. One great way to show your effort is to offer to plan the date, or to choose a place near the other person’s home or work. I’ve found that my clients who live in big cities like New York or Los Angeles often get trapped in a back-and-forth over whose neighborhood they’ll meet in. You can show effort by making the date convenient for the other person. Message them something like: “Hey, what area do you live in? I can plan something near there.” During the date, mention the thought that you put into particular decisions. Say: “I chose this Peruvian place because you wrote on your profile that it was your dream to visit Machu Picchu.” People will appreciate the effort, and your thoughtfulness will help you stand out.