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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Logan Ury
Read between
December 6 - December 24, 2021
As marriage historian Stephanie Coontz explained, “Until the late eighteenth century, most societies around the world saw marriage as far too vital an economic and political institution to be left entirely to the free choice of the two individuals involved, especially if they were going to base their decision on something as unreasoning and transitory as love.”
Very Interestig!
Imagine that you’re someone who arrives five (okay, ten) minutes late to everything, and your significant other grew up in a family with the slogan “Early is on time, on time is late, and late means don’t bother showing up.”
One of my clients dated someone who lost her job the first month they were dating: She had to simultaneously mourn the loss of her dream job and look for new work. If she couldn’t find something good quickly, she had to decide if she wanted to stay in San Francisco or move back east. While this was challenging, my client said that helping her through these tough choices revealed how well they functioned together in a challenging situation. It certainly wasn’t fun, but it demonstrated their compatibility and strengthened their relationship.
Using data from a popular dating website, Ariely found that a man has to earn $40,000 more each year to be as desirable as a man one inch taller.
You may be asking yourselves, how much does a woman’s income affect her desirability? Turns out it doesn’t. High earners don’t inspire single men on that dating website the way they inspire single women.
“I really enjoy our text banter and would love to see if we get along this well in person. What do you think about a quick drink this week?”
The Post-Date Eight What side of me did they bring out? How did my body feel during the date? Stiff, relaxed, or something in between? Do I feel more energized or de-energized than I did before the date? Is there something about them I’m curious about? Did they make me laugh? Did I feel heard? Did I feel attractive in their presence? Did I feel captivated, bored, or something in between?
