A Taste of Gold and Iron

by Alexandra Rowland

the movement of his hair through the water was hypnotic, and it was only by great force of will that Evemer looked away again. Perhaps there had been something to his mother’s warnings after all—the mountain spirits were said to be creatures of surpassing loveliness, all bright eyes and dark hair, who lured men to their deaths in the springs or, as Evemer’s mother had warned, snatched their hearts and replaced them with burning embers. He wondered if this was what that felt like.

He wasn’t going to think about the way he’d felt like his knees had been swept out from under him when His Highness said those three words (Kiss me, now. Kiss me, now. Kiss me, now), and he wasn’t going to think of His Highness’s mouth, or His Highness’s mouth, or His Highness’s mouth, or His Highness putting his hands in Evemer’s hair like he was going to pull him around and show him how to do it better, how he wanted it— No. No, he was really not thinking about any of this anymore. Nor was he thinking about how he wasn’t going to think about it.

Evemer wanted to lean forward and take his hands, kiss his palms and the inside of his wrists, just to feel a little of the weight of him in Evemer’s hands again. He wanted to press his forehead to the backs of Kadou’s hands and swear that he would fix everything—he’d go out and hunt down Sylvia and Azuta Melachrinos himself if he had to— There was a tap on the door. Tadek let himself in with the lunch tray, and the moment was spoiled.

“I swear to both gods, I will drown the two of you and throw myself on His Highness’s mercy!” Eozena hissed. “He’ll look me in the eye and do you know what he’ll do? Do you? He’ll cry. And I’ll feel like a fucking monster, and Her Majesty will be furious with me, but at least I’ll have one piece of comfort, and do you know what that is? I’ll know that it’s all your fault, because the two of you wouldn’t cut that shit out.”

lmfaoooo i love her.

Looking at her was like looking into the sun. But Evemer’s north star sat at the kitchen table, the seal in his hands, biting his lip as he watched them.

He took Zeliha’s hand again, pressed it again to his forehead. “On my life,” he said. “And whatever is left of me beyond that.” “Good.” She leaned down close to his ear and murmured one more thing, one single thing that hit him like a physical blow: “I grant you the privilege of disobedience. Use it wisely.” She stood straight. “Now get up.”

Şehzade Sultan Kadou Mahisti Hazretleri Effendi, Prince of Araşt, Duke of Harbors and Altınbaşı-ili, Lord of Şirya and Nadırıntepe, and Warden of the Northern Marches,

i don't think i can pronounce any of these words lmaoooo

“It would look suspicious,” Kadou ventured, “if we were to stop the very instant he walked out. Wouldn’t it?” “Yes,” Evemer breathed. “Yes,” and, without waiting a heartbeat longer, kissed him again. He was, to his credit, a quick study when he was paying attention—the clumsy press of his mouth was already refining by leaps and bounds.

No, Tadek would have thrown himself into it with his eyes open. He would have known what he was getting himself into, at least well enough to know that it hadn’t involved an exchange of hearts. He would have had a map for that wilderness—but Evemer had no map, and both he and his heart were already lost … Except for Kadou, burning like the compass star, the center of his sky that all the heavens turned around, steady and constant enough for Evemer to set his course by.

“Follow,” Kadou whispered, tugging him across the room. As if Evemer had to be told. As if his very soul weren’t lashed to Kadou like a ship to the compass star.

“I’m not worth this,” he whispered. “You are,” Kadou whispered back, simply. His eyes were so bright, so infinitely deep, and so incredibly sad. With no hesitation, with a voice that was as clear and steady and assured as anything Evemer had heard from him, he spoke: “By the sea and in the eyes of the Mother and the Lord of Judgment, I declare myself to you. I come to you without distinctions and without glory, without the trifling and meaningless trappings of mortal honors. I come to you as nothing and no one but myself. Take my hands and see that they are empty—I offer you no wealth but that of my heart, and ask for none but that of yours. Hear my words and know that they are true—I swear myself to you and none other.”

Kadou huffed a nervous, shaky laugh. “Neither of us brought wedding cloaks to exchange.” “I’m sorry,” Evemer said, because it was the only thing to say. “I’ll try to be more prepared next time.”

“If you have power over me here and now, it’s because I want you to have it. I’ll give that to you, and anything you ask for. I’ll give it gladly,” Evemer rasped. He was trembling too, Kadou noticed dizzily—he slipped one hand up to cup the back of Evemer’s neck. “Command it of me and it’s yours.”

Kadou deserved to have someone show off for him.

“Happy wedding,” Evemer said. “I got you this door.”

“I’m getting paid as we speak,” she said with a grin, slouching down into her chair and crossing her arms. “I’m getting paid in chaos

Maybe Kadou was a mountain spirit after all.

and then Evemer sent Yasemin out of the room, shut the door, pushed Kadou against it, and kissed him.

“A room all to yourself. That doesn’t sound appealing?” The ache sharpened. “No. It doesn’t.” “No?” “Don’t send me away from you,” Evemer whispered.

It was an exceptionally clear night, and the starlight was silvery on his dark hair, and the candlelight made his skin glow warm, and his eyes were bright and unafraid for the first time in days, and then he smiled like the sudden rise of the king-tide, and he was the most beautiful thing Evemer had seen in all his life, and probably the most beautiful thing he’d ever see. This wasn’t going to end well. It couldn’

It was not even a choice: Eat now, with the knowledge that you’ll starve later.

There were so few certainties, but Evemer wanted fiercely to be one of them.

He was not allowed to be himself. He was not allowed to want for himself. Evemer would understand, when he framed it like that. Evemer knew about duty.

“I’m yours,” he said roughly into Kadou’s mouth. “My hands, my heart, my breath—yours. Every part of me. That’s everything, that’s all of it. I want you to have it; take it