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510 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 30, 2022
DNF @ pg 80
“Nope,” she said. “And I don’t really care.”
“I’m getting paid as we speak,” she said with a grin, slouching down into her chair and crossing her arms. “I’m getting paid in chaos.”
“there he was, familiar and comfortable. that’s what it felt like. like his heart, or whatever part of him it was that yearned for someone worthy to serve, had recognised the person he was meant to follow. the person he was meant to die for. there he was.”
Even a day by his side is worth a lifetime of misery.
The Araşti mercantile empire was vast and robust enough that their currency could be used nearly anywhere around the Sea of Serpents and in many places further beyond, because everyone, everywhere, knew that an Araşti coin was a coin you could trust. If a merchant in Imakami, Map Sut, Oissos, Aswijan, Mangar-Khagra, Kaskinen, or N’gaka was offered an altın, they would know exactly what its relative value was.
It would help his nerves if he could manage a few bites, but . . . No. No, he couldn’t do it. The idea of having to spend energy on chewing was unaccountably upsetting and pushed him right to the edge of tears.
Evemer wanted to close his eyes to let it wash over him, but—his lord. Oh, his lord. Evemer would look as long as he could, he’d hold the image of those deep eyes in his heart while they strung him up by his neck, or cut off his head, or tipped poison down his throat, or took him down to the harbor and tied him to a rock and pitched him overboard, or slid steel into his gut. However they thought to do it. Evemer would look and look and look, and he’d close his eyes as soon as they took him out of the room, so that he could tell Usmim that his lord was the last thing he’d seen in life.
There was a shriek of wood—Kadou had pushed his chair back from the table. He strode across the room and grabbed Zeliha by the elbow. “What are you doing? You can’t,” he said. “You can’t have him. No.” She shook him off. He grabbed her again. “Sister,” he said, an edge of desperation coming into his voice before it dropped to a whisper, “This one’s mine.”
“You want to know what just you are? You’re just the person who sees right through me, who tells me when I’m wrong, who said no to me, who was with me through every moment of the worst months of my life. You’re—” Say it, just say it, he thought furiously. Offer properly. Hold out your hand to him. “You’re just the person I’m in love with, and the one I want to be married to. If—if you’ll have me.””ugh, god this is what I'm talking about. I love it. And it also did gave me one of my secret, guilty pleasure trope that It rarely is done well, You have to kiss me so they don’t recognise us is great and I think I was as full of longing by the end as they were.