And the details were just atrocious: curling wrought-iron gates and shutters that couldn’t possibly work and stone-ish siding and my god, the columns: Corinthian, Doric, Ionic, tragic. Now here is a separate paragraph just for the doors. The doors on these homes were huge, at least two whole people high, like they led into a king’s chambers or the palace of an ancient ruin. They were elaborately carved and decorated, etched and embellished. Their knockers were comically ornamental: curlicued or in the shape of a cobra that was coiled or like a jaw of teeth. Beamer had only seen doors like this
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