Long Island Compromise

by Taffy Brodesser-Akner

“Well, what kind of thing do you like to do all day?” Arthur asked when Nathan came to him for advice. “Do you see yourself as a good negotiator?” A shiver ran through young Nathan. “Do you see yourself going to court?” Whatever happened to Nathan’s face just then was an indicator that no, Nathan would not like to go to court. Arthur told him about contract law (but there’s still client interface), immigration law (what?), labor law (but there’s still negotiation), don’t even say itigation-lay. Then Arthur told him about land use. The statutes and regulations and ordinances. The amendments to the statutes and regulations and ordinances. The case law. The amendments to the case law. Precedent. Newer precedent. The treatises. The applications. The pre-applications to fill out before you can submit the applications. The permits. The permits to fill out the permits. The piles of paper. Land use had so much delicious paper that you could bury yourself in it, and once you lay beneath the laws and regulations and ordinances and statutes and loopholes, if things went wrong, no one could find you beneath all that paper! Sure, there were hearings to go to. And most land use lawyers had to go to court and negotiate with project opponents and neighboring property owners. But there was an entire category of land use lawyer who just sat under the piles of paper, doing research and filling out forms and finding workarounds and marking up documents. That was Nathan.