Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake (Winner Bakes All, #1)

by Alexis Hall

Being about to cry was what she was doing now. “Um,” she said. “I…just…I’m stirring this…it’s meant to…but it’s…” To her horror, she was actually crying. And the next thing she knew, Grace Forsythe was gently removing the spoon from her hands. “Fuck shit piss wank bollocks drink Coca-Cola buy Smeg ovens legalise cannabis abolish the monarchy. Oh sorry, did I ruin the

yessss just like mel and sue!

But instead, the majority of the contestants gathered around Ricky’s oven as the companions of Thorin Oakenshield had gathered around the door to the Lonely Mountain.

Picking up the bulbous top of what everyone was still determinedly pretending was Big Ben, Wilfred Honey inspected it closely. “Now this,” he said, squeezing, “has a nice firmness to it. It feels good in your hand. But of course, what matters is if it’s good in the mouth.”

That time I found a potato looked exactly like Jeremy Corbyn. That time I let a bloke take me up the Arsenal.”

“Assuming it’s survived the last decade, Mummy’s no longer interested in looking like a drag queen.” “Why not? Drag queens are pretty.”

“I just meant, yeah, there’s always someone worse off than you, but you’re not helping ’em by ignoring your own