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Clenching my jaw, I think about her tiny frame, whimpering underneath me. Tied up in my bed. Her gentle throat in my hands.
“It’s ironic that you’re here to make me better when the things I want to do to you are the worst things I’ve ever wanted to do.”
Nash is not gentle. Even his soft kisses hurt. His touch burns like fire, but the more I fight him, the faster I melt.
I’m not sure what game I’m playing here, but I know it’s a dangerous one. We will never make it to dinner if we don’t stop now. Fuck, I don’t think I’ll make it to Christmas at this rate.
She is the sacrificial lamb I’m hoping will please the angry God sitting next to her.
His words hurt, but they don’t create new wounds. It’s more like picking the scabs off old ones.
This is us, this charged back and forth, give and take. Passion laced with anger, hatred, lust.
“Admit it,” he says with a snarl, pressing me even harder against the hood. “Admit you’re my whore.”
God, I love the way books smell.
A fucked up love story? He has my attention. I can’t help but smile down at the pages in my hand. “Okay, fine.”
“Watching someone quit something they’re so good at is hard. When you know they love it, it’s even harder.
I see what you awaken in him because it’s the same thing in me.
He’s fucking me like he has a score to settle, like he needs it to survive, and maybe he does.
At one point, he no longer needs his right hand and our fingers intertwine like before. It feels so comfortable, so real. As if holding hands is the only thing we can do that isn’t crossing a line.
“Keep us steady,” he commands again as his lips move upward, moving one side of my headphones aside so he can kiss my neck. I can’t breathe anymore. I’m fairly certain at this point we’ve already crashed and I’m dead.
I’m manic now. The shake in my hands is intense, and as much as I love him touching me, right now I need him to put this thing on the ground so we can touch each other without dying.
Alistair is kissing me, my lips, my neck, my face. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he mumbles.
“I would kiss every single inch of your body. Then I would make you come as many times as I could in one night—with my hands, my mouth, and my cock.”
“Then, I would fuck you, Zara. I would fuck you hard because I know that’s how you like it.”
“Then, I’d hold you all night. I’d close every damn shutter in the house and pretend night never ended so I could hold you more.”
God I wish I could take my time and get to know every single reaction and sound she makes in bed.
“When I’m with you, it doesn’t hurt so much,” she whispers, and suddenly I’m swallowing knives.
“What does that mean? Who am I to you?” I whisper, tears filling my eyes. Shoving my body against the wall, and pulling my face toward his, he attacks my lips with his as he answers. “You’re everything to me.”
Lifting one of my legs, he positions his body even closer, and I can’t breathe. Fuck it, I never want to breathe again.
I want to absorb him, make him a part of me. I want to memorize the way he’s looking at me, like we’re one and I’m no longer alone.
Instead, he wordlessly takes the water from my hands and sets it on the counter. Then, he pulls me into his arms and I soften against his big, warm body. His chin rests on the top of my head, and I listen only to the beat of his heart.

