Addicted After All (Addicted, #5)

by Krista Ritchie

Daisy has been through more than Lily and I ever imagined, and it’s these facts—the ones that I desperately needed—that make it easier to see his happiness with her. I never thought I’d pray to every fucking god to ensure that their relationship lasts. It’s not even a selfish want.

Maybe that’s why Daisy’s sadness hurts so much. It’s like watching a Care Bear cry.

An impenetrable stone in a raging storm. That’s what Ryke Meadows has always been.

Rose clears her throat to rein everyone’s focus. “Hairball?” Lo questions.

The parts of me that I love the most are the parts that belong to her.

She studies my expression for a long moment and says, “It’s a boy.” I am flooded with temperatures below zero, and I pass the paper to her, so she can verify what she already knows is real.

When we’re out of earshot from the kitchen, Daisy walks backwards and she says, “Maximoff Hale. He’s going to have the coolest parents alive.”

Ryke says, “If your kid inherits your musical taste, I’m going to fucking rip my hair out.” I smile. I kind of hope Maximoff does.

I don’t want to lose him—it’s a realization that crushes my lungs. I don’t want to lose this kid that I never even wanted.

“Oh…” Daisy pauses for a second, and she glances between me and my brother. “Guess what?” She waves the papers theatrically in the air and outstretches her arms. “I’m pregnant.” Then she bows. The room is dead silent. My brother’s face falls. I go utterly still. “What?” Ryke says, his hands resting on his head. Lily’s jaw has dropped to the floor. And then Daisy straightens up with a playful smile. “Just kidding.”

He is my soul. I am his. The moment we give up on each other is the moment that neither of us exists.

“Stocks have dropped. Hale Co. isn’t looking good, and the board is pressuring me to not only name an heir but to hand the company off. I can’t represent it anymore. But I refuse to pass Hale Co. to some random, white-collared little shit. It’s going to one of you four beautiful little shits and staying in the family.”

Ryke would endure hell for eternity if it meant that I could go to heaven. Once upon a time, I think I would’ve let him. Not anymore. He deserves his paradise. So I’ll fight against my brother. I’ll fight against Lily and Daisy for this position. The winner is the loser. And this cage has my name on it.

“You remember how we began? Us.” Us… The memory strikes me powerfully, and tears suddenly begin to brim. We were on my parent’s yacht. This yacht. This room. Almost four years ago. We were both twenty and broken and struggling to find a semblance of peace. And then he uttered the words that changed everything. Let me try to be enough for you.

Connor Cobalt. I just got aroused from my sister’s husband.

Tomorrow we’re going onshore to Puerto Vallarta—Daisy doesn’t know about what Ryke planned. Neither do the girls. It’ll be a surprise for her birthday. Hopefully a good one.

Connor is too conceited. Rose is too high-strung. Daisy is too wild. Ryke is too aggressive. Lily is too awkward. I’m too hateful. Sam and Poppy are just right.

The four guys, sauntering twenty feet ahead of us, all turn their heads in unison. Damn. That was sexy.

I recognize now what’s important to me. Him. Her. All three of us. “Lil…” I stare down at her green eyes that glimmer in the moonlight. “I’m remarrying you.”

From our pretend weddings, to our pretend relationship—in the end, it’s all become reality. And I would love to never, ever grow up with Lily Calloway. In one universe, we’ll be young forever.

I think, maybe, that’s what being sisters is all about. Picking each other up when the other trips.

There’s something about Lily that makes all the terrible parts of me seem irrelevant. That makes a bad day momentary and a good one infinite. It’s love like this that’s worth living for.

All the websites online say that twenty-three is the worst year in your twenties. Twelve months of identity crisis and “what the fuck am I doing with my life” realizations.

The floodgate to Connor’s emotions finally cracks, and I catch a glimpse of concern in his blue eyes. He reaches out, holds her hand tightly in his, and then glances between her legs. He keeps one palm on her bent knee. “I need someone to call 911,”

“I want…an epidural,” Rose demands, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Connor rubs her knee and squeezes her hand. “We both know it’s too late for that. You probably broke your water in the shower this morning…” He checks his watch. “Around six, and you didn’t realize it.” It hits me. She’s been in labor for fourteen hours already. Thinking each tiny pain wasn’t the real thing, not until right now.

“Rose,” he says softly, “your body is ready to have this baby. And if you just let go, your mind will catch up, darling.”

“You said that I was your greatest competition.” “And now,” he whispers, “you’re my greatest ally.” With one hand on her knee, he says, “I need you to push.” This is actually happening. In the back of Connor’s limo. Rose is having a baby.

But then, the wail of a high-pitched baby follows Rose’s cries. I can’t see the child yet. Instinctively, I look for Connor’s reaction. And it takes me a moment to realize that real tears well in his eyes. I’ve never seen him cry.

And then Connor lifts up the small baby, hands and legs tiny but moving, and alive. The cries have softened some. “She’s perfect, as far as I can tell.” She. Rose got her girl.

I remember at the hospital when they asked Rose the name of the baby, and she didn’t even hesitate. It’d taken her so long to pick a name, but in that moment, she went with her heart. Jane. Chosen from her favorite Charlotte Brontë novel.

“I love my daughter,” she says adamantly. Jane does bring out something in Rose, a lighter side of her that’s hard to spot sometimes.

Can I? I look up at Lo with squinted eyes. And he nods in confirmation, like he can read my mind. But I know I wear all of my thoughts on my face for him to pick apart and see. He’s not scared. Not as much as me. And the confidence that he’s built up for weeks and weeks blows straight through me. I try to hold onto it as tightly as I can, even if it’s just air breezing between my fingers. I try to breathe every little bit of it in. But the terrified bits of me are very, very strong. I’m about to have a baby.

She inhales and then shuts her eyes tight as she pushes. I clench my teeth, my jaw hurting the longer this goes on. Please let this be it. And then, the next sound just floors me. A cry.

I fell in love with Lo like a little girl opening her heart to magic. It always seemed surreal until the moment it became true.

But when you love someone with the deepest parts of your soul, they become your biggest exception. I know he’s ours.

And I envision Maximoff growing up with his best friend Janie. Even though he’ll never have siblings, he’ll have her. And I bet he’ll look after her too. If he’s anything like his dad, he’ll want to keep Jane safe.

“Your name is on her ass,” I state blankly. “I’m so fucking in love with her,” is all he says. And I believe every word.

His exact wording: “I was afraid she’d look too much like you, but she doesn’t. I didn’t realize how fucking attracted to her I’d be.” Apparently Daisy met him at a quarry, took off her motorcycle helmet, and revealed the finished product. Then they had outdoor sex.

“I spent over half my life working for my daughters, to provide you with a better life than I had, and it’s a very hard realization to admit—that what I worked so hard for ended up doing the inverse of what I dreamed.”

He takes my hand in his and says, “You’ve been my shy little girl for so long, and I should’ve recognized that you weren’t all there. As an adult, as a parent and as your father, I am so sorry.”

“In less than a year, I’ll be gone.” He turns to Ryke, broken picture frames lie by his knees. My brother must feel the heat of our father’s gaze because he raises his head. “You can stop assaulting my things and celebrate,” our dad says. “Your dear old pathetic father will be dead. Hooray.” My lips part in confusion. “What are you talking about?” He’s not making sense. “That.” He points to the glass on the desk. “Has killed me. Or will kill me.”

She takes a deep breath and looks straight at me. “I’m—” “My sister,” I finish. My half-sister. Like Ryke, only on the other side. “Willow, right?” Her mouth drops. “You…remember me?” “Yeah.” I give her a weak smile. “The day I met my birth mother is one I really can’t forget.”

“October tenth,” he says the date with a growing smile. I’ve yet to fully believe that we’re going to be married sometime soon.

“Did you ever dream that we’d be cured or something?” he asks. My other eye opens. “No,” I whisper. “Did you?” He shakes his head. “I knew from the beginning that we’d be addicted after all.”

Oh jeez. I watch the way he furtively glimpses at Willow while she clumsily scoops the cash. I know that look. It’s one that says you’re pretty and interesting and I want to get to know you all wrapped in one.

“Sometimes the person we think we’ll become is the person we already are, and the person we truly become is the person we least expect.”

“He’s waiting for you. Don’t be afraid.” I inhale a strong breath. I’m about to marry my best friend.

The nervous anxiety subsides. I am. But it’s not until my dad opens the door that I fully believe I’m marrying him. That this is my wedding day. October 10th. On our terms. At long, long last.

“If someone ever asks how long we’ve spent together, I’d say for as long as my mind stretches back. I can’t tell you the day that I fell in love with you because there wasn’t a single day that I didn’t.” My voice shakes with more joy than I’ve ever known. “You have the purest parts of my heart, and I’m certain that in every alternate universe, I’m always, always in love with you.”

In the very happiest moment of my life I learn three things: I am strong. I have powers. And my soul meets Loren Hale’s in every kiss. When the curtains on my universe close, he will still be with me. That, I’m sure of.