The Poppy War (The Poppy War, #1)

by R.F. Kuang

Well, fuck the heavenly order of things. If getting married to a gross old man was her preordained role on this earth, then Rin was determined to rewrite it.

“Power dictates acceptability,” Kitay mused. “If the capital had been built in Tikany, I’m sure we’d be running around dark as wood bark.”

“So you’re not dying, sweetheart, your body is just shedding your uterine lining.” Rin’s jaw had been hanging open for a solid minute. “What the fuck?”

“I have taught her class the crushing sensation of disappointment and the even more important lesson that they do not matter as much as they think they do.”

Youth, Rin thought, was an amplification of beauty. It was a filter; it could mask what one was lacking, enhance even the most average features. But beauty without youth was dangerous. The Empress’s beauty did not require the soft fullness of young lips, the rosy red of young cheeks, the tenderness of young skin. This beauty cut deep, like a sharpened crystal. This beauty was immortal.

When man begins to think that he is responsible for writing the script of the world, he forgets the forces that dream up our reality.

“From ashes we came and to ashes we return

War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who remains.”

Children ceased to be children when you put a sword in their hands. When you taught them to fight a war, then you armed them and put them on the front lines, they were not children anymore. They were soldiers.

She had thought she was invincible. She had been looking forward to the fight, anticipating the bloodlust. That felt stupid now. So, so stupid. War was not a game, where one fought for honor and admiration, where masters would keep her from sustaining any real harm. War was a nightmare.

I can give you the power you seek. She struggled wildly to breathe, but the general’s grip only tightened around her neck. I can give you the strength to topple empires. To burn your enemies until their bones are nothing but ash. All this I will give you and more. You know the trade. You know the terms. “Anything,” Rin whispered. “Anything at all.” Everything.

“Does this mean the Speerlies aren’t extinct after all?” he inquired. “Are you and Altan going to make babies and repopulate the Speerly race?” Qara snorted loudly. Unegen spat out a mouthful of sorghum wine. Rin turned bright red. “Not likely,” she said. “Why not? You don’t like Altan?” The cheeky little shit. “No, I mean I can’t,” she said. “I can’t have children.” “Why not?” Ramsa pressed. “I had my womb destroyed at the Academy,” she said. She hugged her knees up to her chest.

I still dont understand. But at the same time her timagte fear is to be sold as a wife and be bred so i get it.

“He exaggerated,” he said. “I got lucky. The blade went right in between my stomach and my kidney. Didn’t puncture anything on its way out. Hurt like hell, but it healed cleanly. Scar’s ugly, though. Do you want to see?” “Keep your shirt on,” she said hastily.

“You can’t kill me,” Altan hissed. “You love me.” “I don’t love you,” Rin said. “And I can kill anything.”

“Did you know they called us public toilets?” Venka asked suddenly. Rin stopped two paces from the door. Comprehension dawned on her, and her blood turned to ice. “What?”

I’m sorry

“They thought I couldn’t understand Mugini,” Venka said with a horrifying attempt at a chuckle. “That’s what they called me, when they were in me.”

What the fuck

“He made me mop it up.”

Rin saw a man sitting by the road. He slouched beside a bamboo carrying pole, the kind farmers used to balance buckets of water for irrigation. He had fashioned a large sign out of the back of a painting, on which he’d scrawled in messy calligraphy five ingots. “Two girls,” he said in a slow chant. “Two girls, healthy girls, for sale.” Two toddlers peered out over the tops of the wooden buckets. They stared wonderingly at the passing soldiers. One noticed Rin peeking out from under the tarp, and she blinked her luminous eyes in uncomprehending curiosity. She lifted her tiny fingers and waved at them, just as a soldier shouted out in excitement. Rin shrank back into the wagon. Tears leaked out the sides of her eyes. She couldn’t breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut. She did not want to see what became of those girls.

What the actual fuck

“You’ve blinded yourself. You’re a Speerly. You have power,” she said. “You have the anger of all of Speer. Show me how to use it. Give it to me.” “You’ll die.” “Then I will die on my feet,” she said. “I will die with flames in my hand and fury in my heart. I will die fighting for the legacy of my people,

Altan knew by instinct who she was, how she would fight, because they were the same. They were two parts of a whole. They were Speerlies.

“Take it as your guide,” he said. “Speer is southeast of here. It’ll be a long swim.” “What are you talking about?” she demanded. “We’ll swim together. You’ll guide me.” His hand closed around her fingers. He held them tight for a moment and then let go. “No,” he said. “I’ll finish my duty.” Panic twisted her insides. “Altan, no.” She couldn’t stop the onslaught of hot tears, but Altan wasn’t looking at her. He was gazing out at the assembled army. “Tearza didn’t save our people,” he said. “I couldn’t save our people. But this comes close.” “Altan, please . . .” “It will be harder for you,” Altan said. “You’ll have to live with the consequences. But you’re brave . . . you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

He pressed his forehead against hers for a long time. She closed her eyes. She drank in the sensation of her skin against his. She seared it into her memory. “You’re so much stronger than I am,” said Altan.

The fire doesn’t give, the fire takes, and takes, and takes.

Altan had won. Altan had achieved in death what he couldn’t do in life because Altan, Rin suspected, had been tired of living. He couldn’t wage the protracted war of vengeance that the Phoenix demanded, so he’d sought a martyr’s death and gotten it.

“Total victory,” she said. “It’s what you want, isn’t it?” “What I want?” The Phoenix sounded amused. “The gods do not want anything. The gods merely exist. We cannot help what we are; we are pure essence, pure element. You humans inflict everything on yourselves, and then blame us afterward. Every calamity has been man-made. We do not force you to do anything. We have only ever helped.” “This is my destiny,” Rin said with conviction. “I’m the last Speerly. I have to do this. It is written.” “Nothing is written,” said the Phoenix. “You humans always think you’re destined for things, for tragedy or for greatness. Destiny is a myth. Destiny is the only myth. The gods choose nothing. You chose. You chose to take the exam. You chose to come to Sinegard. You chose to pledge Lore, you chose to study the paths of the gods, and you chose to follow your commander’s demands over your master’s warnings. At every critical juncture you were given an option; you were given a way out. Yet you picked precisely the roads that led you here. You are at this temple, kneeling before me, only because you wanted to be. And you know that should you give the command, I will call something terrible. I will wreak a disaster to destroy the island of Mugen completely, as thoroughly as Speer was destroyed. By your choice, many will die.”

“They were monsters!” Rin shrieked. “They were not human!”

Girl lost her damn mind for the sake of revenge. Lost her damn humanity smh

I have become something wonderful, she thought. I have become something terrible. Was she now a goddess or a monster? Perhaps neither. Perhaps both.