Evil Love

by Ella Fields

“Fern,” he said, my name jarring in the quiet room. I peeked at him, then inhaled a deep breath. Okay, I thought. Here goes nothing. Releasing it, I sat up, then immediately felt my eyes widen. “Oh, wow.” The lighting might have been dim, but I could see enough, and I crawled down the bed to his side to take a closer look. I’d already predicted it was long whenever I’d felt it touch me, but it was way thicker than I could’ve guessed. How these things were supposed to fit inside a woman’s body when they were this size, I had no idea, and I knew I wasn’t yet ready to find out. Solid with bulging veins and swaying a little with Jude’s every harsh breath, it was as if it wanted me to touch it.

That evoked a giggle I couldn’t hold back, but he didn’t seem to mind. Featherlight, I reached out and dragged my finger down his shaft. A sharp thrill shot through me when he jolted and hissed. I pulled back. “Wrap your hand around it,” Jude said, gruff. Cautiously, I did. “It won’t break, Red. Now squeeze and stroke.” My hand moved up and down, and I squeezed gently.

He groaned, but I didn’t look at him. I was too enamored by this giant, heavy member in my hand. “It’s so warm,” I said, not meaning to say the thought out loud. I squeezed a little harder, pressing my thumb into one of the thick veins. I was rewarded with a guttural groan. It fueled my next admission. “And soft… like velvet.”

I lowered my head, shifting closer. “I can feel it throbbing.” “Grip it harder,” he said, and I’d never heard his voice so hoarse. “Then move your hand up and down at the same time.” Confidence blooming, I tugged and squeezed, and then I saw the wet gathering at the tip of the swollen head. I didn’t ask, and I didn’t even think about it. I just dropped my mouth over him and licked the salty flavor, moaning. “Christ,” he said. “Yes, wrap those perfect lips around me and suck.” There was no way I could fit all...

Besides, the fact I’d only been messing around with him for a few minutes had me riding a high. A high that said I had him. Maybe he’d never admit it, but I had him coming down my throat in hot spurts and choking on his expletives with my inexperience and overbearing curiosity. His hands tugged my hair, his body twitching and spasming.

Lying down beside him, I watched his sated green eyes as I swiped my tongue over my lips. I didn’t dare kiss him. I didn’t want him to push me away if he thought that’d be disgusting, his semen still stuck to places inside my mouth. But then he grabbed my hip, pulling my body closer, and opened my mouth with his. “You like him?” I swallowed his words, pressed my lips into his, and his pressed back. “I fucking love him.” “I can tell.” He kissed me harder, held me tighter, my soft stomach against his firm, and then he stared at me for long moments.

Peeling myself away, I carefully lifted his arm and set it on the bed, my heart thrashing when he curled it into his chest, and a soft snore left his parted lips. I bit mine when my eyes skated down his alarmingly stunning physique. His briefs were still tucked under his perfect ass.

Dumbfounded by what to do here, and because I was just awkward as hell anyway, I blurted, “I put Jude’s dick in my mouth.” Cory bolted upright, a lone tear sailing down her cheek. “What the fuck?”

My stomach sank to my toes when I realized I was even more of an idiot than I already knew I was. Of course, he’d fool around with her, too. She was his, and he was hers, and I was merely something fun to punish for getting in the way of the future prom king and queen of Peridot Academy.

I removed my sneakers and tried to shove down the bouncing sensation that tightened every breath, not to mention my balls. I was already hard. I’d been hard since the second I saw her sitting there, and now, it wasn’t just a throb, a want, a means to an end. The need I felt for this girl was primal, a savage necessity—her desire for me so vital that I could hardly fucking breathe. Tearing my eyes from hers, those heaving breasts hidden behind nothing but flimsy cotton, I sent them down her body. Over the perfect flare of her curved hips, I discovered nothing but creamy skin. She wasn’t wearing anything. No panties. Fern parted her thighs, whispering, “I guess I did miss you after all.” A knot the size of my fist lodged in my throat. I couldn’t talk. I didn’t inhale. I just moved down her bed, ripped off my gym shorts along the way, and stared.

Her hands fidgeted with her tank over her stomach, but I kept my eyes glued—couldn’t remove them if I tried—on the glistening gift she’d left unwrapped for me. “Jude?” So sweet, so nervous, and so fucking wet without so much as a touch from me—I wasn’t sure if I’d ever forget this moment. In fact, I was positive I could die happy today. Just not before I tasted what the mere sight of me did to her. I cleared my throat, watched her thighs jolt in response, and then fisted my cock. “Your mom?” “Gone until tomorrow.” I tore off my shirt and knelt on her bed. “Thank fucking Christ.” Then I wrapped my hands around her thighs and feasted.

Her cries and moans, the clawing of her fingers in my hair… I loved pussy, and I loved eating it, but fuck if I’d ever enjoyed eating something this much before in my life. Her taste melted over my tongue, and it wasn’t long bef...

Fern rose onto her elbows, flushed and her hair a mess. “Remove your shirt and lie back down,” I said. She did, and naked as the day I was born, I climbed on top of her, my mouth coasting up her stomach to her breasts. I feasted on them too, licking and sucking and shivering from her fingers dragging over my scalp. Her legs wound around my hips as I moved higher. With my mouth hovering over hers, I planted my arms either side of her head. Dazed and so fucking desperate for me, her teeth scraped o...

If she was disappointed, I didn’t want to know. I kissed her again, this time lifting my hips a little to rub myself up and down the wet beauty between her thighs. Her eyes popped when I pulled back, and I grinned. “Like it?” She nodded, then croaked, “Yes.” “Show me.” I bumped her nose with mine, hearing her breathing stall when I rubbed myself over her clit. “Just like you showed me how much you like me when you opened those pretty thighs.”

I kissed her hard, deep, and swallowed every tiny, choked cry, groaning as I did. Her nails scored into my back, dragging up and down, and my entire body purred. “I want us to come on each other.” I licked her cheek, then tucked my forearms under her shoulders. “Okay, Red? So wet and so hard, I want to stain our skin with it.” “Oh, god.” She tore away, and indeed, she came so hard, I had no control—nothing—and I flinched as I unexpectedly joined her.

Her eyes were wide on mine as I cursed and dropped my head, my cock unloading between our bodies. Every part of me shook and shivered, and I hadn’t realized I’d thrown my head into her neck until I gathered enough breath back inside my lungs to open my eyes. Soft and adoring, her fingers traced every muscle and indent she could reach on my back.

I had a life that I thought no longer included a certain redheaded, desperate girl with gigantic fucking issues. “You’re making me spend twelve months with that whack job?” “Mind your tongue,” he clipped with a hard look at me. “You’re a fucking idiot if you thought you could mess with her daughter and get away with it. Again, what were you bloody thinking, Jude?” “I just wanted her to…” I couldn’t even finish that sentence. To him, it would sound petty and childish and completely unnecessary. And everything I’d done to that girl was all those things.

All I knew was I had to marry the toad who hurt me numerous times because we’d both been born into some secret society. Yeah, even if I could tell her, there was no way she’d believe that.

I set the picture against the wall and gazed up at him. His eyes were narrowed on me, his jaw flexing and his arms crossed. Even in just a baggy plain gray T-shirt and dark jeans, he was stunning, and I fucking hated it. I also hated how small he’d made me feel in just a cluster of seconds. Unsteady, I rose and walked around him, taking the glass to the trash can under the kitchen sink.

Jude launched out of the armchair he’d been waiting in, wearing plaid pajama pants and nothing else. My eyes dragged up his ribbed, solid torso, every darkened crevice absorbing the buttery glow of the lamp behind him, to his eyes. They were filled with something I’d never seen before, and I didn’t want to take a leap of faith by thinking it was something it definitely was not. Fear.

“Hey,” I said, and not sure why I’d said it, or where to put my eyes. He was shirtless. Again. Gray sweats clung to his defined hips. He was still the worst person alive, but even the worst people could have moments of decency.

Rage. That was rage in his eyes, weighing his words and rolling off his damp skin. The heat of it wrapped around me like a tantalizing hug. “You can’t control me, Jude. Now let go.” His nostrils flared, and then, he grinned. “Never. Ask me what I’m afraid of.” I frowned. “Jude…” He closed the tiny gap, our chests almost touching. “Just ask me.” “Fine.” Tilting my head back to meet his gaze, I asked with as much indifference as I could summon, “What are you afraid of, Jude Delouxe?” His smile vanished, every cruel edge of his beauty returning. “You.”

Our mouths moved at the same time, colliding so hard I tasted blood when his tongue slid over mine. He didn’t seem to care. I didn’t care. I grabbed his waist, fingers dragging and digging into every muscle. They climbed his chest, and he groaned, stealing my lip with his teeth.

A curse, violent and drugging, infiltrated my mouth when my hands pushed at his sweats. “Off,” I panted. He didn’t listen, but he picked me up and carted me into the spare room. I was thrown on the bed, Jude barking, “Off, too,” as he removed his sweats and briefs. I peeled off my apricot dress and threw my bra across the white bedding. It tumbled to the floor, and then Jude crawled onto the end of the bed. “Stop.” Fingers tucked inside the elastic of my panties, I frowned. “I don’t want to.” His grin was a thing of evil perfection, and I wanted to kiss it off ...

He inhaled deep, groaning a hot exhale over the fabric, and then he carefully tugged the damp panties down my legs. His mouth visited me for all of a second before he was staring up at me with barely contained need. I could hardly keep up with what was happening, let alone remember that we shouldn’t do this. That I shouldn’t do this. The idea of stopping—u...

“I wasn’t on a date tonight. I tried to see Cory.” He stilled. “In fact, ever since you slid the ugliest, tackiest ring of all time onto my finger, I haven’t been able to even look at someone else.” I swallowed over the knot forming in my throat. “And I hate it. I hate you.” He rose onto his knees, a naked god attacked by moonlight. “I fucking hate that I’m so relieved right now, and I hate you, too.” I couldn’t help but laugh, and then he was eating my mouth with his, his body fitting itself over mine.

I made to pull away, to catch my breath, but every time I tried, I couldn’t do it. I needed to stay synced with him—swallowing his every breath, touching every part of him—and to drown inside the burning and fizzing erupting under my skin. And then he was pushing inside me. I tried to stop it, to just stomach it and hope it wouldn’t hurt too bad, but my entire body seized. He was too big, so big, and I’d never had anything thicker than half a finger inside me before.

He kept pushing forward, a slow crawling fire. “You’re so fucking tight.” My mouth tore away from his, my head rolling back with my arching spine as I screamed, silent and breathless. “Fern?” he asked, the sound drenched in a red fog. “Fuck.” Fingers gripped my chin, tilting my head down for his wild eyes to search my own. “You… You’re a virgin,” he said, blinking profusely. “Was,” I wheezed, trying to focus on his face and not the searing pain. His eyes lit up, and a shocked burst of lau...

Our noses brushed, and he blew hair from my forehead. “Why? Why not take it further with someone else?” I didn’t want to answer that, and I didn’t have to. His shoulders fell with a rough exhale. “I don’t deserve this.” I smiled a little. “You don’t think I know that?” He kissed me tenderly and whispered, “Wrap your arms and legs around me.” I did as instructed. “Good. Fuck, you feel like you were made for me to live inside you.” A spark ignited in my stomach, and my arms tightened around his neck.

Dragging his lips across mine, Jude slid his arms under me and began to gently thrust. “Breathe, Red.” I released a huge rush of air I’d been holding, some of the tension fading from my limbs. “Now kiss me.” I kissed him, felt one of his arms slide out from beneath me for his hand to coast up and down my side. I shivered, clenching around him, and he groaned. “There’s my little freak,” he whispered. “Always so responsive with me.” I moaned, the heat from the pain morphing into a heady mixture of both pain and pleasure.

“Just for me,” he said, groggy and low, his hips rolling into me now before rearing back and then slowly pushing forward. “I’d almost forgotten how good it feels to taste you, your mouth, your cunt.” His lips glided over my jaw and down my throat. “...

My legs quaked. “Jude.” “Can I make my virgin bride come all over my cock?” I couldn’t breathe. His mouth stole mine, and all I could do was lay there as his tongue and lips assaulted me. “I’ll bet I can,” he murmured, a wicked laugh spilling over my lips, “I’ll bet you come so fucking hard for me, you’ll forget what your name is, let al...

Jude gripped the side of my face, our foreheads touching as his hips jerked with mine. “Now look what you’ve gone and done,” he rasped, kissing me long and hard, our eyes unable to detach as we shook and choked on each breath. “I think you’ve more than ruined my life, ...

Walking back into the spare room, I continued to brush my teeth. I would remain cool, calm, and totally collected. So what if my husband who I hated with every bruised corner of my heart took my virginity and then kissed me until I passed out in his arms? Nothing else needed to happen, and nothing needed to change. I would never dare allow myself to think it might. I leaned into the door a little too hard as Jude gazed at me from the bed. His hair was a mess from my fingers, deliciously and adorably unkempt, and his eyes were hooded from sleep and… no. No, he was just tired. I wasn’t reading into this foolish situation.

As if his eyes were the bait, I swayed closer without realizing it. His arm shot out, and he nabbed the toothbrush from my hand. Horrified, I watched him put it into his mouth. “Ew, gross.” “I’ve swapped saliva and other bodily fluids with you all night, and you worry about sharing a toothbrush?” he mumbled around it. Brushing quickly, he tossed the toothbrush to the floor, and I gaped at the gray toothpaste-speckled rug. “If you don’t come here, I’m going to have to get up and bring you back to bed.”

“I wanted you, but I also hated you. I hated how badly I wanted you. The way it felt when I was with you made it seem like I’d never truly known what it was to want something before.” Stunned, I let my arms fall. “That made you a threat. You felt like a threat.” His eyes dropped to my mouth, his own curving. “You tasted like one, too.” I blinked. Unbelievable. “Fuck you, Jude.” I stormed out of the room.

I’d listened to the shower running for half an hour, wondering how it felt between her legs after I’d marked her for life. A virgin. I’d grinned at the ceiling before taking a nap.

Even after all he’d done, I was so weak for him that it was disgusting. That was what confused me the most. The shame and the want were constantly at war with one another, and I found myself so often thinking, just one more time, as though I were an addict swearing I would quit tomorrow. But tomorrow still hadn’t arrived.

Pulling him down over me, I lifted his shirt, wanting my hands to comb every inch of his skin. I kissed him with a tenacity I’d never felt before, needing so much more. I wanted his skin on mine, his body connected to mine, his mouth forever on mine. “Red.” Jude lifted his head, breathing heavily. I tried to bring him back, but he couldn’t be moved. He just stared at me with that infuriating amusement. Amusement that soon dripped away, revealing something that looked a lot like fear and adoration in its wake. “Red, I…”

Waving her hand between us, she said, “Look, this is… whatever, Jude. You’ll always do what you want, and I’m an idiot for forgetting that this whole thing is actually fake.” “It’s not fake,” I snapped, offended as fuck. “Not fucking fake at all. That’s why I got mad when I thought you were hooking up with that guy.” I took her waist, squeezing her to me. “This feeling,” I whispered, probably way too loud, but I didn’t care. “The stupid addictive shit you make me feel? I know you feel it, too.”

“Yup. In case you haven’t already figured it out, Wife, I never truly wanted Marnie. I wanted what she represented.” She stuffed her arms over her chest, her expression one of furious beauty. “Wholesome and sweet and popular?” “No. My innocence. The Jude from before.” Ogling her without one fleck of shame, I watched her lips, bare of lipstick, roll between her teeth. “The Jude who hadn’t yet screwed everything up. I thought if I could just get some semblance of what I’d deemed as normality back…” She sat on the edge of my bed, curling a leg beneath her. “Then everything might feel a little better, less changed.” “Right.”

Emboldened, I said, “I miss it. I miss her. The girl with hearts for eyes whenever she looked at me. The girl who doodled wild imaginings in there every time she saw me. The girl ballsy enough to create a picture wall of me…” “You killed her,” she said, so very quiet. “Repeatedly.” I nodded even though she was still staring at her diary and felt my chest spasm. “I know. But I want to bring her back, somehow, and make her stay. If you’ll let me try.” Her eyes swung to me, narrowed with suspicion. “Why?” “Because I…” I blew out a huge breath and sat up. “I want her. I want her more than I’ve wanted anything, and that makes me feel so out of control.”

Jude Delouxe, my teenage crush turned high school bully, had done the unthinkable. He’d stolen beneath my skin, and with every encounter, every touch, and every earnest word, he’d crawled closer to my heart. And now I was certain it would be a death sentence to admit he’d sunk inside it. So I wouldn’t.

Jude sniffed, his eyes glimmering as they smiled back at me. “You were everything I hated because you’re everything I want and nothing I could survive losing. I’d pick you over anything, Fern. Everything.”

Jude lifted my shirt, murmuring to my chest. “Forgive me,” he pleaded to my skin, to my mouth, to my heart, lips pressing over my breast. He pulled off my sleep shirt, and breathless, I pushed at his jeans. “Forgive me for hurting you when I was hurting.” His shirt joined mine on the floor, his jeans somewhere in the bedding with his briefs. “Forgive me for scaring you away, time and time again, due to my own fears.” Warm fingers climbed down my stomach and tore down my panties. I kicked them off, and his touch returned to slide through my excitement. One thick digit entered. I moaned, needing more, and his thumb brushed over me, his finger hooking but otherwise unmoving.

“You know what they say about wanting.” I did. I knew just as well as he did where it so often led us. “And you… I couldn’t place that much importance on something again. So I chose her. Easier to stick with comfort, with the familiar, than to risk finding yourself swimming alone in the dark all over again.” Tears filled my eyes, dried up my throat, and stole my voice. “But I give in. I fucking surrender, Fern. I’ll drown in the dark forever if it means I get you.”

Our mouths joined once more when our bodies did, slow and torturous, every panted breath shared. My back arched as he filled me, my nails scoring down his back. He kissed my throat, staying so perfectly still as I adjusted to him and absorbed everything he’d confessed. His lips skimmed my jaw, and I stared back up at him. “There’s no such thing as true dark, Jude.” I kissed each side of his mouth, then whispered against it, “For no matter how little of itself it gives, the moon will always shine.”

A throaty groan entered my mouth, and then his tongue did. “Forgive me,” he rasped. “Forgive me for falling in love with you the wrong way.” His hips moved, careful and determined to destroy me. Staring into those earnest green eyes, feeling him shudder with every touch...

Forgive me for falling in love with you the wrong way. He’d meant every whispered word. I saw the vehemence in his eyes, felt the message in the slide of his skin over mine. Against every odd we’d thrown at one another, he’d fallen in love with me. And I’d raced out of there the moment my eyes had opened and all that he’d said crashed into me. Self-preservation had been at war with potential happiness since I’d learned the raw truth of infatuation and falling. Since I’d discovered that love wasn’t what I’d once dreamed it to be. Love was evil.

“Fern, my Red, my sweetest, most deadliest threat…” My lungs shrank. My hands trembled. The sun wasn’t able to dry the water stinging my eyes. He presented a red velvet box, and it opened to reveal a silver ring. The sun bounced off the small band of inlaid diamonds. “Will you marry me for real?” I laughed, unbidden and uncaring of the blubbering that followed. “You’re serious?” “Tasteful ring, and I’ll make a shrine of you and write a million diary entries about you if I have to serious.” “Jude,” I croaked. He waited, ring poised in the air, unmoving, and I laughed again. “Yes,” I said, wiping at my cheeks. It was pointless for the tears didn’t stop. “Yes, I’ll marry you for real.” He was over the hedge and climbing up the steps of my balcony within seconds, and I didn’t wait. I didn’t hesitate. I threw myself at him. He caught me, the ring falling to the deck, and kissed away my tears. “I guess that means you’re in love with me, too?” “Yeah,” I said, and smooshed my nose into his. “I’m in love with you, too.”