Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most

by Greg McKeown

There is no such thing as an effortless relationship. But there are ways we can make it easier to keep a relationship strong. We don’t need to agree with the other person on everything. But we do need to be present with them, to really notice them, to give them our full attention—maybe not always, but as frequently as we can.

We can help people in our lives do the same by putting aside our own opinions, advice, or judgment completely, by putting the other person’s truth above our own.

Pair the most essential activities with the most enjoyable ones.

I define “done” as the point just before the effort invested begins to be greater than the output achieved.

Holding back when you still have steam in you might seem like a counterintuitive approach to getting important things done, but in fact, this kind of restraint is key to breakthrough productivity.

Trust is like the engine oil for that team. It’s the lubricant that keeps these people working together smoothly, so the team can continue to function.

He looks for people with integrity, intelligence, and initiative, though he adds that without the first, the other two can backfire. I call this “The Three I’s Rule.”

Every relationship has a structure, even if it’s an unspoken, unclear one. A low-trust structure is one where expectations are unclear, where goals are incompatible or at odds, where people don’t know who is doing what, where the rules are ambiguous and nobody knows what the standards for success are, and where the priorities are unclear and the incentives misaligned.