Even when people don’t want to be, the hangover of monogamous thinking often leaves people feeling competitive with their metamours and/or doubtful as to why their partners would want to be with them if they don’t have the specific qualities, circumstances, sexual interests or physical attributes that other partners have. Even when people have a healthy sense of self and esteem, they still need positive feedback as to why their partners cherish them and choose to be with them, especially when, theoretically, they can choose to be with many others. There is nothing wrong with needing to hear
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