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I gave him a plain look. “This cat risked life and limb to adopt you as her owner.” Anxiety and confusion tightened his shoulders. “No. I don’t want to own a cat.” “Why not?” It just fell out of my mouth, loaded with double-meaning. “You don’t like pussy?”
“You want to be punished.” It was a statement, but it was clear he was waiting for confirmation from me, so my head bobbed in a nod. “Good,” he said. “I hope you’re not fragile.”
“Fuck,” I swore. His tone was sinister. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
My head spun at this version of him. Up until yesterday, he’d been my shy and quiet next-door neighbor. I’d never expected him to be assertive. Or so . . . dominating. And, shit, I hadn’t expected to like it so much.
“I’m the one who made this possible.” His hand on my waist drifted up, and for a split second I panicked that he was going to put his other hand inside my corset. I wouldn’t be able to take it if he decided to pinch me on the other side too. But his hand continued to travel upward. “Everything you feel right now is because of me. All this pain, all this pleasure. His big cock filling you up? That’s me.”
“It’s unfair,” Clay said. “What’s that?” “That it took a year for me to discover you, and now that I have, I’m stuck five hundred miles away.”
He looked thrilled but feigned a scowl. “Naughty girl. You’re going to make me come.”
“Such a good girl,” the man cooed. “You’ve earned this.”
It was feral, the way he attacked me with his tongue. Aggressive and rough, as if having to remove my underwear was an interruption he couldn’t afford to have. An unfair obstacle thrown in his way.
“I don’t know how long I’ll be able to take it,” I whispered. It was like I’d just told Clay the sexiest thing ever. He pushed up his glasses, and his eyes glittered behind the lenses. “I know it hurts,” his tone was reassuring, “but it feels good too, doesn’t it? Like a good pain?”
“Look at yourself,” Clay said with rich satisfaction, “squirming and whining as you try to hold it together. You’re so . . . achingly beautiful.”
E’s mouth had ceased, but his fingers were still lodged inside me. Could he feel the rhythmic pulses of my internal muscles squeezing more pleasure from him? He studied me like he wanted to know everything about me, and—God—could I relate.
“Thank you, Lilith.” His gratitude made warmth bloom in my chest. “You should come over tomorrow afternoon so I can work on my new favorite project.” My heart skipped.
I’d expected a rough fuck, and he didn’t disappoint. His hands were mean and intrusive, and nothing was off limits. I bowed and stretched and struggled, wanting more. Lust was a drug that I couldn’t get enough of when I was with him.
His kiss was hot and dominating. In its wake, some far off voice in my head began to whisper. It warned me if I wanted to keep Clay, it was better not to get too close. Don’t let him in. I worried it was already too late.
Clay and I had made a deal. No feelings, no attachments. Was I supposed to tell him that was happening now, when my feelings weren’t only for him?
I’d spent the evening being teased without satisfaction, but he kissed me as if he’d spent the last two months being taunted by my lips and now he was going to take what he was fucking owed.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted. “Being with you wasn’t a mistake. I still feel your kiss, and it’s burning me up inside.” His eyes went wide with shock.
I didn’t break under the impact of a crop or paddle when either of my partners wielded one. But this caring, attentive gesture? It threatened to break me completely. I refused to acknowledge how they made me feel. I had no choice but to stave off my emotions. The longer I held them off, the more time I could have with these men who seemed perfectly attuned to what I desired. To what I needed.
His kiss. Oh, my God, his fucking kiss. It was the kind they wrote love songs about. The one at the end of a movie when the lovers finally got together. His lips pressed to mine like he would have died if we’d been separated a moment longer, and I sank into him. His kiss was hungry and consuming and powerful.
Oh, God. Was it possible I loved them?

