Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts

by Carol Tavris

All of us are as unaware of our blind spots as fish are unaware of the water they swim in, but those who swim in the waters of privilege have a particular motivation to remain oblivious. When Marynia Farnham achieved fame and fortune during the 1940s and 1950s by advising women to stay at home and raise children or risk frigidity, neuroses, and a loss of femininity, she saw no inconsistency (or irony) in the fact that she was privileged to be a physician who was not staying at home raising her own two children. When affluent people speak of the underprivileged, they rarely thank their lucky stars that they are privileged, let alone consider that they might be overprivileged. Privilege is their blind spot.7 It is invisible and they don’t think twice about it; they justify their social position as something they are entitled to. In one way or another, all of us are blind to whatever privileges life has handed us, even if those privileges are temporary. Most people who normally fly in an airline’s main cabin regard the privileged people in business and first class as wasteful snobs, if enviable ones. Imagine paying all that extra money for a mere six-hour flight! But as soon as they are the ones paying for the business seats, that attitude vanishes, replaced by a self-justifying mixture of pity and disdain for their fellow passengers forlornly trooping past them into steerage.