How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

by Nicole LePera

The RAS does more than create confirmation bias when we’re car shopping.

your RAS won’t let you.

The brain can sometimes use the RAS filter as a defense mechanism.

we are also not our core beliefs.

The more you learn about the childhood brain and how these core beliefs are formed, the better able you will be, over time, to witness and become aware of them—and ultimately actively choose which ones you want to retain and which to leave behind.

co-regulation

delta state.

theta state,

Egocentrism in childhood is a developmental stage in which there’s an inability to understand the difference between the self and others.

everything is happening to us because of us.

beta state,

“sponge” years of childhood.

Our beliefs are incredibly powerful and continue to shape our daily experiences through our subconscious minds.

With dedication and persistence, they can be changed. To truly change, you have to learn who you really are—and a part of this includes meeting your inner child.

Spend some time reflecting on and journaling about your core beliefs. If you feel intimidated by the word belief or are unsure of what yours are, it’s okay. Remember, a belief is simply a practiced thought.

Begin to pay attention to and notice the themes and narratives that run through your mind all day. Notice and write down any and all themes that arise. To help you reflect, feel free to use the following journal prompts,

About myself: About others or my relationships: About my past: About my present: About my future:

you will have to begin to practice a new thought.

If you’re still unsure, think about the one that would have the most impact on your life if you believed differently.

Now you will want to practice this new thought. A lot.

our attachments live on within us, especially in our romantic bonds.

the wounds of our inner child that are carried into adulthood are often attachment based.

if I truly loved something, it could be taken away from me. It wasn’t just a feeling of loss and abandonment;