Unfinished (Unfinished, #1)

by Shae Scott

It was too easy to like this man. Really like him. He was everything I remembered and so much more. He had become a great man and I found myself falling for him. I was fighting it, but I feared it was a losing battle. It was probably a bad idea, but at this point it didn’t matter. He was my Owen from the past and he was quickly becoming the new Owen I didn’t want to live

I had wanted to touch her like this since we met. I had just always held back because I knew I couldn’t ruin us. But tonight, with the alcohol in our systems, and the need to give her a night to remember, I had let that guard down. I let myself move in closer. I let myself touch her in ways that I hadn’t dared to before. I knew it was wrong, but my restraint was slipping.

given that to her. “I can’t wait to get out of here. I just want to leave this whole place behind,” she said. “No more high school drama, no more Brendon, no more curfews, no more lame Saturdays working at the grocery store…all new stuff. I can’t wait.” “Yeah, college will be good,” I agreed. I did hate that she would be so far away once we left for school. Two hours in the real world, with new things happening everyday was enough to make anyone drift apart. I’d miss our talks.

Each lost in thoughts of the future until her hiccup broke the silence. I laughed and took the bottle back.

“No, I’m serious. I mean, I finally sleep with Brendon after all of this time and he dumps me not that long after. Maybe I’m just bad at it,” she shrugged. “You are not bad at it. Trust me,” I said shifting in my seat, because this conversation was making my dick twitch and I really didn’t want to embarrass myself with a raging hard on.

“Do you want me to show you?” I knew it was wrong. I knew this was way over the line. But seeing her here like this was too much. I just couldn’t stop myself. I watched her face, waiting for her reaction. She watched me for a moment and then her eyes fluttered closed. I smiled to myself. I felt a little bit like a wolf, preying on the innocent. But, I wanted her. I needed to feel her lips against mine. I needed to feel her body against my own. Yeah, I knew it was wrong, but I had to know.

“Do you want me to show you?” I asked. I kissed her neck and she arched to give me better access. A soft moan escaped her pretty pink lips and the surprise of it made her open her eyes. I was right there. She couldn’t escape me. “You like that?” I asked, pulling out my reliable set of tricks. I had moves. I’d used them often. I just hadn’t ever used them on someone as sweet as her. The idea of her beneath me, left me yearning to put my full weight on her, but I held back, needing to see an answer in her eyes.

I was immersed in Ally. My sweet, wonderful Ally. My best friend. Ally, who deserved so much. The thought hit me, and pulled me from my daze for a moment. Fuck! What was I doing? How had I let this moment get this far? This was my Ally. I was no better than Brendon…taking advantage of her here in this barn. I couldn’t be who she needed. I was just like him. I was nothing that she needed. I was a selfish asshole, trying to take what I was so desperate to have without even thinking about her and what this meant. I hated myself in this moment.

If I could just catch my breath I could fix this. I could stop before I made a huge mistake. I could stop before I ruined us. This is why I had always feared my feelings for her. She was too good. I was too wrong. I didn’t deserve her. I didn’t have it in me to do flowers and commitment. I have always known who I am. Oh, but I want to do flowers with her. She deserves that kind of love. I want to be that person for her. But I just don’t know if I can. I’ll just end up a disappointment, like my dad was to my mom. The men in my family are quick to fail the women that they claim to love. I don’t want to do that to her. But here I am, taking advantage of her in a motherfucking barn, the day she breaks up with her boyfriend. I really am an asshole.

Fuck, she felt rejected. I had to get out of here. I moved her off my lap and stood, adjusting myself, trying to shove my painful erection back into the confines of my pants. “I mean, we’re drunk. It wouldn’t be right to do this,” I managed. I couldn’t look her in the eye anymore. I scooped up her dress and handed it to her as I grabbed my own shirt.

I loathed myself. I was low. I didn’t deserve to even be around her. She was my best friend. I was supposed to take care of her. She trusted me. I had just taken that trust and stomped all over it. I’d let my wants get the best of me while she was vulnerable. I was worse than Brendon. If she hadn’t thought I was an asshole before, she most certainly did now.

I was going to have to go back in. What if she was crying? She was probably beating herself up over the whole thing. I had just left her there, nearly naked and alone. I wasn’t earning any points. I opened the door to the barn and stepped in. “Ally? I’m sorry….I shouldn’t have walked out. I just needed some air.” I looked around and realized I was talking to myself. She wasn’t here. Where had she gone? I had been waiting outside. Damn. She was gone. I sent her a text: Where are you? She didn’t respond. I had screwed up. Maybe I should just give her a little bit to sort it all out and see that I was right. We could talk it out. We always talked stuff out. This wasn’t any different. Two days later, she still hadn’t returned any of my texts or calls. She didn’t answer the door when I stopped by. This was bad. I was a mess. I had just ruined the best thing I’d ever had. I had lost her.

What were the chances that we would meet like this, completely random, in a city that neither of us even lived? The whole thing seemed completely impossible.

Here I am, working on this big account and now all of a sudden Owen is standing in front of me after nearly ten years and he’s asking me to meet up with him later. I could hardly even form a sentence.

“The thing is, Kit Kat,” he said using my old nickname, “you are one of the good girls. You have the vision of forever in your head. You deserve that kind of thing. You were made for forever,” he said. I furrowed my brow, “You make that sound like an insult.” “Not at all. I think the idea of happily ever after is nice. I even think some people are lucky enough to find it. I just think it’s rare,” he admitted. “It is rare,” I agreed. “That’s why everybody wants it. Well, everybody but you,” I teased. Part of me wondered if he hadn’t moved the conversation in this direction as a warning to me. Could he see that I was so attracted to him? I thought back to the graduation party and inwardly cringed. He’d stopped me then too.

He didn’t really strike me as a lonely person. From what he’d told me he had a full life in Chicago.

“That’s because you are all emotion. You allow yourself to feel all kinds of things. I just tend to avoid that road,” he said. “That has always been our big difference, huh? I feel too much; you keep the world locked out.” “You make me sound like a robot,” he laughed.

“So, when are you going to go see him? It’s obvious that you like him. Chicago isn’t that far away,” Cassie asked for the hundredth time since I’d got back from Texas. “Seven hours,” I smiled over my coffee cup, “Not that I’ve checked or anything.”

“You just keep surprising me,” he said quietly. “How so?” I asked. I liked that I could see his expression.

I wish I knew what that meant. I tried to read beyond his words. “It’s just me,” I offered. “Exactly. It’s you. You make me feel things that I’m not used to feeling. It just takes me by surprise sometimes. Especially here, looking at you all sleepy eyed and sweet.” His smile made my insides flip.

“Don’t forget that I’ve known you for years. I know how gifted you are with the ladies,” I teased him. “The difference is, with you I mean the things that I say. Not to mention that I show you my weaknesses and I don’t show those to anyone.” His face was serious and I felt the air leave me as I processed his words.

I frowned at his final words. What did he mean, that he’d said too much? It wasn’t the first time that he had pulled back after a particular turn in conversation. Sometimes it felt like he was pushing me away, and other times I wrote it off to him getting used to having strong emotions for someone. It was no secret that that was not his M.O. Plus, we had the whole friendship land mine to navigate. The whole situation was confusing. We were walking such a thin line and neither of us seemed ready to try and define what was happening.

He lived in Chicago, I lived in Nashville. We didn’t have an ideal situation to build an actual relationship on, but I felt like it could get there at some point.

“I just need to talk to you about a few things.” I heard him take a deep breath and I braced myself for whatever it was he was going to say. “Owen, just tell me. Whatever it is,” I urged.

“You’re starting to freak me out a little bit here,” I said, hoping he would get to the point or reassure me. “I know. I’m sorry. I just…I have to tell you something. I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you from the beginning of this whole thing, but then I would convince myself that it wasn’t important. But, I know that it is. I know that it will be important to you and I’m an asshole for not having told you before now.” I could almost see him running his hands through his hair in frustration. I was really nervous now. This felt too big. I had a feeling I was about to be pushed right off cloud nine. “I’m kind of involved with someone.” Yep, there it was. The world around me stopped and I was frozen. I was pretty sure that I had just stepped into an episode of the twilight zone, or maybe I was being punked. That would be so much better than the instant ache that was settling onto my heart, He was with someone? With someone? What did that mean? I instantly felt like someone had thrown cold water all over me. “Like a girlfriend?” I managed. I heard him sigh. “Sort of,” he said.

Max likes that I date his daughter and he gives me more responsibility in the company and she gets to be involved and get daddy’s attention. It’s just kind of worked for us both. It’s all kind of superficial, but…well, I know I should have told you about it a long time ago, I just didn’t know how. It’s just one of those things that I fell into and it was helping me with my job. I mean, it was kind of a perfect set up for someone like me. I guess I never expected us to happen.” He stopped talking and I know he was waiting for some sort of response from me. I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know how to feel about this news. He was with someone, but he made it sound like it was less than serious.

This conversation was making it glaring obvious that I had started to see a future with Owen. I had started to give into my feelings. As much as I’d been trying to deny it to myself, this moment was laughing at me.

“How long have you been seeing each other? Is it exclusive? Are you…with her?” I tried to figure out how to ask what I needed to know. I knew he understood when he took a steadying breath. “Ally, I’m not going to lie to you anymore. I promise you that. We’ve been seeing each other for about a year. We went into the whole thing like a business deal. It has never been a big love affair. Yes, I’ve been with her. We get along and sometimes we play the part a little better than others. I know it doesn’t make sense. I know that for someone like you it just sounds slimy. I guess it is. But it fit into the life I thought I was looking for. Work, success, and drama free pseudo relationships. It’s who I’ve been for a long time. “Talking to you all this time has me questioning a lot of that. But the truth is I still have that commitment to her and to my work. I’m not sure how to get out of it. We are so close to getting what we wanted and now I am all a mess and…” He searched for the right word. “Distracted,” I supplied.

But I know that until I can make my life less complicated that I have to step back. I keep getting sidetracked and lost in you and it’s not fair to anyone involved.” He sounded defeated. I knew how he felt. I had just had the rug pulled out from under me and I was spinning.

“Owen, I’m not sure what to say. This is a lot to process,” I admitted. “I need time. I mean what is it that you even want from me?” I asked. “I just want you around. I want to talk to you. I want to spend time with you when I can. I want my best friend…I want you to not run away,” he said.

I felt completely shell shocked. The message screen on my computer mocked me. I could see our words from earlier in the little box, they were carefree and easy. Nothing felt carefree and easy anymore. What in the world was I supposed to do with this? Sure

I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was supposed to be in my life. Maybe he was just meant to be my friend. Then I remembered his kiss and all thoughts of friendship were gone. You don’t kiss your friends that way. This was impossible. I needed to think. I shut down my computer and headed home, trying to shake the fog that settled over me.

I put on my favorite flannel pants, grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and sulked on the couch like an adult. My mind was a mess. I spent way too long over-thinking every conversation we’d had since he came back into my life. I thought about our time in Texas and the sweet conversations that we had late into the night. Almost every single night, he talked to me right before he went to sleep. Where was his girlfriend? Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe it really was some big charade just as he’d said. But that seemed too crazy even for me to latch on to. It didn’t matter that Owen never lied to me. It didn’t matter that I’d always trusted him completely or how every action he’d taken with me seemed to prove how genuine he was, how genuine he always had been. At least with me. But that was then. And this new revolution had me doubting it all. The truth was all mixed up and there was no way that I could get a handle on it. Not tonight.

“And who are you with me?” I asked, unable to stop myself. “I am the man I never thought I was capable of being. Fuck, that sounds so corny. What I mean is, my life is a strict set of goals and means to achieve those goals. I don’t get distracted. I don’t let myself get sidetracked. But when you are around or we are talking I just feel…” He paused, looking for words. “I feel lighter. Peaceful maybe. I don’t know. I just feel like there is more than my strict plan. You remind me of who I used to be before I became so jaded.”

“But you are still with her.” It wasn’t really a question. He’d told me as much before. “Yes. But also no. We aren’t together together anymore.” He let the words hang between us so I could catch his meaning. “You mean, you aren’t sleeping with her anymore?” I wanted the clarification. “No. Not for awhile. But we still see each other to keep up appearances. We go to dinner and to functions around town. As far as anyone knows, we are a couple.” His voice was tight, bracing himself for my reaction. I took it all in, trying to process it. “And you plan on continuing that relationship?”

our now. “Friends?” I asked, trying out the word. Could I be friends with him? Knowing I really wanted more than that? I would always have that tug on my heart wanting more from him. I’d had a glimpse of what it would be like and knowing I couldn’t have it was going to be torture. Yet, I didn’t feel like I could walk away. He meant so much to me and at the end of the day, his friendship was what I missed the most.

“Okay. We’ll try friends. But, no more secrets; promise me that.” “No more secrets. I promise.” “Okay,” I agreed. “Friends?” he asked. “Friends,” I said, even though the word felt like a knife to my heart.

“Well, you’re still way too good for me,” he said roughly, his voice low. He ran his thumb across my bottom lip and my breath caught as I sagged against the wall. He leaned in closer, eyes hooded. I was a goner. “I’m just not sure that I care anymore. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can’t stay away from you. I know that I don’t want to,” he breathed.

His lips were soft and firm at the same time. Taking my cue, Owen deepened the kiss and pushed into me. Thank heaven for that wall. His hands moved to my hair, my face and I gasped as I heard a low moan escape him. His tongue began to dance with mine, sweet and rough at the same time. We were trying to carefully explore each other, but the passion kept overtaking the moment, leaving us breathless again. It was dizzying. I didn’t want to stop. I clung to him, needing him closer. Too soon he broke apart from me, resting his forehead on mine, both of us panting heavily, unable to speak.

“We should probably get back to the table,” he said, his voice still husky. I managed a weak nod. He stepped back from me and I felt a sudden surge of disappointment. He didn’t look at me and it felt like cold water being doused onto the moment. He regretted it, obviously. I suppose that I should too, but I hadn’t gotten that far yet. I straightened my dress, making sure everything was in place. My cheeks were heating in embarrassment. I stepped around him and made a move to go back to the table.

He wanted me, I could see it. It was written all over his face. But he was trying to abide by the rules we’d set for ourselves. He wanted to keep the promises that he had made to himself. I could see him being pulled in separate directions.

I hate to admit that I tried to keep my distance from Owen for the rest of the evening. I tried. But we kept catching each other’s gaze and more than a few times he would find a reason to touch me. I was really trying to be rational. Logical thinking. That is what I needed. I had to keep a clear head. Stay smart. I kept reminding myself that he had other priorities. He’d told me this. There was no room for me in his plan. He had his arrangement and I just wasn’t in a place where I could work with that kind of situation. It was complicated. It was further complicated by the fact that my need for him was continually growing. I probably could have pretended like I didn’t have any feelings, or at least hidden them pretty well, if we didn’t seem to be continuously adding to our list of stolen moments. Just those few encounters left me needy and I wasn’t positive I’d make it through my life without seeing it through. Yep, that line of thinking was going to get me nowhere but trouble.

I hated her. I hated that she was trying to keep him from me. I hated that he hadn’t just told Max the truth right then. “Why didn’t you just tell Max the truth?” I asked quietly. “I didn’t know how. I mean…fuck, Ally, I still want my job. If I came out and said that I’d lied he would have lost it. Anna is still his daughter, ya know? I just can’t believe that she brought that damn ring with her,” he muttered. There it was again. I stepped away from him. “Wait. She had a ring with her?” I asked. Something wasn’t making sense. I saw the moment that Owen realized what he’d said. It was a shadow of panic. That flash said that there was something more to this story. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. “Owen. Where did the ring come from?” I asked. My voice didn't sound like it came from me. “Ally…I can explain,” he started. Shit. It was him. That ring had come from him. “Did you buy that ring? Did you buy her a ring?” My voice cracked and I cursed myself for it. The world was spinning, tilting and becoming all askew.

“You were going to marry her.” It wasn’t a question. I could see it all so clearly now. Charade or no charade, he had planned to take it to the end. He had bought her a ring. This whole thing was too much. The room was spinning. I needed to sit down. I needed to get away from him. I needed to hit him…hard. My heart was slamming against my chest. It was causing me physical pain. Every image that I’d had for our future was suddenly shattered, the pieces scattered at my feet.

He had made the whole situation with Anna seem like it was nothing serious. It was an arrangement. That’s what he’d told me. That’s what I had chosen to believe. I was a fool.

Yes, I bought a ring. It was a whim. There was a time I thought it would be easier to just follow through. The thing with Anna was easy and convenient and I thought it would push me further into getting the success that I wanted. It was stupid. I never gave it to her. I never even thought about giving it to her. I don’t know how she even found it. I don’t love her. I have never loved her. I’m not lying to you. I know that is what is going through your head right now. I know you think I have made this whole thing up and that you are the other woman. But it’s not like that. I promise you that I have been honest. Please…please listen to me,” he begged. I could see the determination there, the need for me to hear his words and believe them. I wanted to. But there was something keeping me from it. It was as if every single doubt that I’d had was flooding my mind. Every question, every doubt, had me asking if I’d been fooled this entire time. How was it that I had suddenly lost all trust for this man?

“Don’t talk to me about promises. I don’t even know who you are right now. You’ve been lying to me this whole time. Was this a game to you? Was I just some fun distraction? The pathetic girl that you had unfinished business with? How long did you plan to string me along?” I could feel anger simmering at the surface and I tried to hold on to it so that it could get me through these next moments. Because it was suddenly clear to me that I had to walk away. I couldn’t do this anymore. This wasn’t about love or passion…this was about my survival. I had allowed myself to fall so hard for this man. I had trusted him and made plans for my future for him. I was so busy falling for him that I never stopped to question whether he was falling with me.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and try and clear out the haze that threatened to overtake me. “I can’t keep waiting for you with the hopes that you will finally choose me,” I said. His gaze snapped to me and I saw the instant fire in his eyes. “I have chosen you,” he bit out. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, blurring his face. “No. She has your ring. She has told everyone that she expects to marry you. There is no room for me in that equation,” I said.

I shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. “Because, if it were real, you wouldn’t be engaged to another woman,” I said. Low blow. I knew it. I jumped as he slammed his fist down onto the table, making the vase rattle. “Goddamn it, Ally, don’t you dare do that. Don’t you trivialize this. Don’t act like what we have isn’t real,” he yelled. He took a step closer to me, his eyes blazing.

“You and me. We. Are. Real. We are the realist damn thing that there is. I know I screwed up. I know I have a mess to fix, but don’t you dare act like this is something less than it is. I won’t let you.”