More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Read between
August 12 - September 5, 2025
“We’re in the dungeon, Mrs. McGibbons. It’s me, Carl. You’re going down to the next floor.” She looked at me, her eyes registering confusion. Once again, I felt a wave of doubt wash over me. Was this the right thing? What else could we do? “The dungeon?” she asked. “Like a sex thing?”
“I think I’ve had too much to drink,” she said. “Or I’m having another one of those acid flashbacks. This cat keeps talking to me.”
“Dogs riding dogs,” Donut spat as the pair of Danger-Dingo-riding kobolds charged at us. “I’ve had nightmares like this.” She
Mana Toast. This is toast. It refills your mana. That’s it. Nothing more. Fuck you.
“I don’t like puking. I don’t want to puke!” I laughed. “Really? I seem to recall you had a thing for vomiting on my pillow.” “That was different. I did that on purpose.” “I knew it! I fucking knew it.”
“Don’t bring me into this,” Donut said, raising a paw in defense. “I’m not the one who went all danger dingo on my own kid.”
“I once watched a cocker spaniel lick her own butthole for thirty minutes straight. That was more insightful than that question.”
Everyone is calling the Prince ‘Pork Boy’ and, uh, ‘Carl’s Naughty Little Piggie.’
Donut: THIS MUSIC IS MAKING MY HEAD HURT. WHY CAN’T THEY PLAY SOMETHING GOOD? LIKE OASIS. Carl: Oasis? Where did you get that from? Even Bea didn’t listen to Oasis. Donut: NO MISS BEATRICE LIKES COUNTRY MUSIC. THAT’S JUST AS BAD AS THIS. Carl: Yeah, that should’ve been my first warning.
New achievement! PETA Enthusiast! You somehow managed to remove the hostility of an aggravated, non-sapient enemy. That enemy then fought against other enemies to your benefit. The ghost of Steve Irwin smiles down upon you. Reward: I SAID THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN SMILES DOWN UPON YOU.
If any sort of enemy came anywhere near us, the crazy chicken went absolutely apeshit. He screamed and snapped and tried to kill himself in an attempt to get to the creature. He was like a goddamned psychotic wolverine hopped up on bath salts.
