Dungeon Crawler Carl (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #1)
Rate it:
Open Preview
Read between July 13 - August 6, 2025
1%
Flag icon
I never considered myself a big fan of cats. But, if we’re being truthful here, I liked Donut. That cat did not give two shits about anybody or anything, and I could respect that.
11%
Flag icon
New achievement! You’ve inflicted damage on a mob. Hopefully it won’t hit back! Reward: It’s probably going to hit back.
16%
Flag icon
“Nor am I wearing a cloak that makes me look like I won a participation trophy at the special needs comic con, Carl. I’m a cat. Cats don’t wear pants. Don’t be so droll.”
23%
Flag icon
“No se que esta pasando. Me duele el estómago. No se donde estoy. Por favor, tengo miedo.”
23%
Flag icon
“Lo siento si fui una mala persona,” she said. She closed her eyes as tears streamed down the non-burned side of her face. The woman only had one, misshapen tooth in her mouth. “No quería que mi hija se enfermara. No quiero estar en el infierno. Por favor. Por favor envíame a Jesús.”
30%
Flag icon
Goblin Copper Chopper with attached sidecar. Human-sized. Contraption. Take a junkyard bicycle, add an unreliable steam engine, remove all the bolts holding it together, replace them with chewing gum, and you get the idea. The preferred assault transport of Goblin Bomb Bards, what this contraption lacks in reliability and safety it makes up for in absolutely nothing.
30%
Flag icon
“Did we really just start a meth war between the goblins and the llamas?”
32%
Flag icon
New achievement! War Criminal. You have killed more than 20 non-combatants in a single attack! Question: What’s the only thing standing between an innocent child and a happy, fulfilling life? Answer: You. The answer is you. Reward: You’ve received a Gold Asshole’s Box!
82%
Flag icon
Mana Toast. This is toast. It refills your mana. That’s it. Nothing more. Fuck you.
94%
Flag icon
Just remember what happened with Harambe. There ain’t no zookeepers around to shoot the monster’s ass if you bite off more than you can chew.
95%
Flag icon
New achievement! PETA Enthusiast!
95%
Flag icon
You somehow managed to remove the hostility of an aggravated, non-sapient enemy. That enemy then fought against other enemies to your benefit. The ghost of Steve Irwin smiles down upon you. Reward: I SAID THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN SMILES DOWN UPON YOU.