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August 11 - August 11, 2025
While not as roided-out as a Rat Brute, or as Imma fireball yo ass as a Rat Shaman,
Imma fireball yo…? Goblins can give off that vibe???
Doesn’t cure poison or other health-seeping conditions such as succubus-inflicted gonorrhea. So remember to wrap it up, bucko.
Did they…? Tell people to use… PROTECTION?!
New achievement! You’ve killed an armed mob with your bare fucking hands! Holy crap, dude. That’s kinda fucked up.
It's screwed up that you have people doing this at all?!?
New achievement! You’ve entered a guildhall! Congratulations. You know how to open doors. Reward: That sense of fulfillment you feel? That’s reward enough.
I love when our reward is nothing! :D
New achievement! Podophilia! You’ve used your bare feet to crush and kill an opponent! Hey! That’s my fetish! Seriously. Keep doing it, and you’ll be rewarded. This will help. Reward: You’ve received a Gold Shoe Box!
*blink blink* What.
New achievement! Boom! You’ve caused a wall-shaking explosion within the dungeon! The last time the walls shook like this was when your mom came over for a visit. Reward: You’ve received a Silver Goblin Box!
Mom jokes are you kidding me.
Toad Cudgel. The “toad cudgel” was a stick.
For uh… cudgeling toads.
Toad Cudgel Big stick for bonking. Bonk toad. Bonk mob.
Great description.
Enchanted Crown of the Sepsis Whore. Who’s a dirty girl? You’re a dirty girl! This is a Fleeting item! This is a Unique* item! Imbues wearer with +5 Intelligence, grants the user +5 to the Good First Impression skill. All attacks, including magical attacks, now have a 15% chance to inflict the Sepsis debuff. Warning! (Seriously though. I’m going to say this again. WARNING! Read this shit before you put it on.) Placing this crown upon your head permanently places you within the royal line of succession for the Blood Sultanate on the ninth floor of the world dungeon. Removing this item will not
...more
I… no words.
Poor Llama skin. Uncooked Llama steaks X2. Baggie of trailer park-grade meth X2.
METH?! Are you kidding me rn bc bsfr why does the llama have meth?!
But it seemed the AI—or whatever it was that controlled the game messages—really did have some sort of foot fetish.
HUH.
“I’ve seen your pedigree,” I said. “You’re a few generations shy of nothing. Also, your grandfather was also your uncle.”
Um… yay inbreeding?
“How about this?” I asked, offering up the two baggies of meth.
THE METH HELPED THEM?!
A bigger, redder, WARNING. Remove this item before you jerk off.
?! I get why... but also... WHY????
“You said you worry that some of these bosses and mobs are like you, here against their will.” He pointed downward, indicating the lower levels. “That’s not always going to be the case. Especially later on. Remember that. There are no gods here. Just those who pay for the privilege.”
pay to win babyyy
Also known as the Porkchop Express, the Ball of Swine is one of the rarest, most deadly battle formations of the Tuskling. Encompassing at least 30 Tuskling knights and their lady loves, a Ball formation requires a specific set of circumstances to create. Combine a gathering of Tuskling aristocracy, add an alcohol-fueled, sexually-charged orgy of war lust, and sometimes, just sometimes, the wild, ancient battle magic that permeates their war-torn world casts the spell, forming the ball.
… I am consistently shocked by this book. WDYM PIG ORGIES??
Have you ever found a dead, bloated, and decomposing body? Have ya poked it with a stick just to see what would wiggle out? Perhaps rubbed it with your bare foot? You know you’ve wanted to.
No to all those questions.
Picture yourself in high school. Now picture all the girls who would never get anywhere near you. It’s kind of like that, but on purpose.
Insane. And likely true...
Gorgon Marital Aid A favorite amongst intergalactic porn stars, this is a hardening and de-hardening tool. May only be used at a workbench. Assists in fusing joints or creating varying degrees of plasticity in otherwise rigid materials without affecting material strength.
Mmm… gorgon marital aid. VIAGRA?!
New achievement! PETA Enthusiast! You somehow managed to remove the hostility of an aggravated, non-sapient enemy. That enemy then fought against other enemies to your benefit. The ghost of Steve Irwin smiles down upon you. Reward: I SAID THE GHOST OF STEVE IRWIN SMILES DOWN UPON YOU.
STEVE IRWINNN
