Dungeon Crawler Carl (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #1)

by Matt Dinniman

Congratulations! You’ve earned your first achievement: Crazy Cat Lady.

Too bad you’re both probably going to die a horrible death at any moment.

Reward: None! Haha. You are so dead.

Big stick for bonking. Bonk toad. Bonk mob. Bonk girlfriend and drag back to cave by hair.

“Did we really

just start a meth war between the goblins and the llamas?”

That baby is dead, and it’s dead because of you. You’re totally going to hell. You’ve also received a Bronze Asshole’s Box.

“But you were always watching those videos on your iPad with the two women rolling around and cleaning each other.

They’d taken some sort of cosmic octopus creature and combined it with your average, suburban, anti-vax, let-me-talk-to-your-manager mom.

In other words, you are fucked. Absolutely, bite-the-pillow, fucked.

Just remember, luck goes both ways, like your mom.