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January 1 - September 26, 2018
But we’ve also seen that if you are stressed or depressed, your brain and body may not cooperate.
Stress is the enemy of willpower.
Stress encourages you to focus on immediate, short-term goals and outcomes, but self-control requires keeping the big picture in mind.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: STRESS AND SELF-CONTROL
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Welcome to one of the most robust, if troubling, findings from the science of self-control: People who use their willpower seem to run out of it.
In study after study, no matter what task he used, people’s self-control deteriorated over time.
These observations led Baumeister to an intriguing hypothesis: that self-control is like a muscle.
Trying to control your temper, stick to a budget, or refuse seconds all tap the same source of strength.
The muscle model is at once reassuring and discouraging.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF WILLPOWER
If you never seem to have the time and energy for your “I will” challenge, schedule it for when you have the most strength.
Low blood sugar levels turn out to predict a wide range of willpower failures, from giving up on a difficult test to lashing out at others when you’re angry.
It is as if running low on energy biases us to be the worst versions of ourselves.
University of Pennsylvania psychologist Robert Kurzban has argued that the actual amount of energy your brain needs to exert self-control is less than half a Tic Tac per minute. This may be more than the brain uses for other mental tasks, but it is far less than your body uses when it exercises. So assuming you have the resources to walk around the block without collapsing, the absolute demands of self-control couldn’t possibly deplete your entire body’s store of energy.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: THE WILLPOWER DIET
Yes, it’s true that a shot of sugar can give you a short-term willpower boost in an emergency. In the long run, though, mainlining sugar is not a good strategy for self-control.
These interventions take a simpler approach: Challenge the self-control muscle by asking people to control one small thing that they aren’t used to controlling.
One group was asked to use their nondominant hand for eating, brushing their teeth, and opening doors. The second group was told to avoid swearing and to say “yes” instead of “yeah.” The third group received no special instructions. After two weeks, participants in both self-control groups were less likely to respond to typical triggering events, like jealousy or feeling disrespected by their partner, with physical violence.
It’s the habit of noticing what you are about to do, and choosing to do the more difficult thing instead of the easiest.
The relative unimportance of the willpower challenges allowed participants to exercise the muscle of self-control without the internal angst that derails so many of our attempts to change.
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: A WILLPOWER WORKOUT
When you’re trying to make a big change or transform an old habit, look for a small way to practice self-control that strengthens your willpower, but doesn’t overwhelm it completely.
Whether you look to science or your own life for evidence, it is clear that we humans have a tendency to run out of willpower. But one thing that isn’t clear is whether we run out of power, or whether we just run out of will.
There is always a difference between what is difficult and what is impossible, and the limits of self-control could reflect either.
Exercise physiologists used to believe that when our bodies give up, it is because they literally cannot keep working.
All these explanations made sense in theory, but no one could ever prove that this was what was causing exercisers to slow down and give up.
Noakes was intrigued with the implication: Physical exhaustion was a trick played on the body by the mind. If this was true, it meant that the physical limits of an athlete were far beyond what the first message from the body to give up suggested.
Most of us interpret exhaustion as an objective indicator that we cannot continue. This theory says it is just a feeling generated by the brain to motivate us to stop, in much the same way that the feeling of anxiety can stop us from doing something dangerous, and the feeling of disgust can stop us from eating something that will make us sick.
These athletes recognize that the first wave of fatigue is never a real limit, and with sufficient motivation, they can transcend it.
Some scientists now believe that the limits of self-control are just like the physical limits of the body—we often feel depleted of willpower before we actually are.
This doesn’t mean we’re out of willpower; we just need to muster up the motivation to use it.
It also raises the possibility that we can, like athletes, push past the feeling of willpower exhaustion to make it to the finish line of our own willpower challenges.
UNDER THE MICROSCOPE: IS YOUR EXHAUSTION REAL?
It turns out that the metaphorical “muscle” of willpower can also be coaxed into persevering longer with the right inspiration.
(Imagine someone offering you $100 to say no to a package of Girl Scout cookies. Not so irresistible now, huh?)
WILLPOWER EXPERIMENT: WHAT’S YOUR “WANT” POWER?
Sometimes our strongest motivation is not what we think it is, or think it should be. If you’re trying to change a behavior to please someone else or be the right kind of person, see if there is another “want” that holds more power for you.
Like a muscle, our willpower follows the rule of “Use it or lose it.”
Our challenge is to train like an intelligent athlete, pushing our limits but also pacing ourselves.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Not every lapse of self-control reflects an actual loss of control. Sometimes we make a conscious choice to give in to temptation.
feeling good about our virtue is the fastest path to vice.
giving in is a choice, and not an inevitable one.
When it comes to right and wrong, most of us are not striving for moral perfection. We just want to feel good enough—which then gives us permission to do whatever we want.
They had proven to themselves that they were not sexist or racist, but this left them vulnerable to what psychologists call moral licensing. When you do something good, you feel good about yourself. This means you’re more likely to trust your impulses—which often means giving yourself permission to do something bad.
Moral licensing doesn’t just give us permission to do something bad; it also lets us off the hook when we’re asked to do something good.
Most people don’t question their impulses when they’re feeling virtuous, and some people’s positions permanently remind them of their virtue.
If you tell yourself that you’re “good” when you exercise and “bad” when you don’t, then you’re more likely to skip the gym tomorrow if you work out today.
Simply put: Whenever we have conflicting desires, being good gives us permission to be a little bit bad.
