How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler

by Ryan North

Universal property Description of this property Example phrases using this property A grim vision into a dystopian world where this property does not exist Pronouns exist in all natural languages. Pronouns are words that let us refer to something without repeating the name of that thing. I rented the FC3000™ time machine. It is as reliable as it is well designed, and I am happy to recommend it to everyone without reservation. I rented the FC3000™ time machine. The FC3000™ time machine is as reliable as the FC3000™ time machine is well designed, and I am happy to recommend the FC3000™ time machine to everyone without reservation. No “thbbbth” sounds. Spoken languages are built from the noises our bodies can make, but no natural language uses the “blow a raspberry” tongue-out-of-the-mouth thbbbth sound. To be, or not to be: that is the question. To thbbbth, or not to thbbbth: that is the questhbbbbbbbttbbbbth. If the language has a word for “feet,” it also has a word for “hands,” and if it has a word for “toes,” it also has a word for “fingers.” Hands are generally more useful to most humans than feet, so if we’ve reached a point where we’re naming body parts and gotten around to naming our feet, we’ve definitely already named our hands too. I have ten toes and ten fingers. Yes, Chad, I know technically I only have eight fingers. Chad, yes, I know thumbs aren’t fingers. Everyone knows, I was just . . . Chad. Chad. Chad, listen to me. See, Chad, this is why we don’t hang out ...