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Women and people of colour are underrepresented in the diagnosed autism population,
It seems that women and people of colour feel forced to mask their autistic traits, due to a lack of diagnosis and out of fear for the consequences of being different.
Sometimes I look at myself as if my soul has left my body and is floating somewhere above.
I keep an eye out for every abnormality so I can quickly correct myself as much as I can. Yet I try to be kind, and to rewrite my own story mentally. I’m not a loser. I’m a girl with an invisible handicap.
When an autistic person says that something is too loud or too bright, the answer usually is: “Get over it!” We are taught to ignore signals, to suck it up, and to definitely not listen to ourselves.
It’s logical that I put up a mask around clients, but sometimes I feel like I can’t quite be myself even around friends and people I know.
At home I try to compensate for all the stimuli my work fires at me. I usually eat the same thing and tend not to try anything new. I go to the supermarket I’m familiar with, work out in the same place I always work out. When I have a day off, I enjoy doing nothing. I curl up on the couch under a blanket and watch Netflix, do logic puzzles such as sudoku, or delve into the world of birds. Seeing a rare species of bird can make me really happy.”
if you don’t automatically pick up on how I’m doing and don’t actively check either, and if you only act when you see me cry – that’s too late. Way too late.
people with autism supposedly lack empathy. I for one am very intuitive, and 90% of the time I’m open to other people’s emotions. The other 10% of the time I’m so lost in my own thoughts and obsessions, virtually nothing else gets through.”
the sentence that makes every autistic person’s skin crawl: “But you don’t look autistic at all!”
“trained” to show neurotypical behaviour. For that reason, most non-autistic-looking autistics tend to be the people who experience the highest psychological pressure.
Their brain is running non-stop on full capacity, their self-monitoring is so internalised the system can’t actually be turned off anymore.
One thing that’s become clear is that we aren’t insensitive robots, but we may seem that way sometimes because we close ourselves off. Stimuli – and that includes emotions – are often so intense for autistics that they have developed a defense mechanism.
Someone who tells you they are autistic is still just a human being with a personality, experiences and feelings. If you have to reject someone’s autism in order to see them as a human being, you’re ignoring an intrinsic part of that person to avoid having to deal with something that makes you uncomfortable.
They don’t need a cure, they need understanding. And I totally agree with that.
The difference is whether you look at this from a society perspective or an individual perspective. I’m an idealist when it comes to society, I’m a pragmatist on a personal level. This helps me to stay happy, because if you focus non-stop on everything that is wrong with society – and that’s a lot! – you will only end up incredibly frustrated.
One of our therapists said: “If you’re waiting for the fashion magazines to change, you’re giving away all control over your eating disorder.” That’s the same attitude you can choose to have when it comes to autism.
