Execution (Off Balance, #2)

by Lucia Franco

ignored the little dig. "Would it make a difference to you?"

"It would not, would it?" he asked in complete shock when I i...

"No. If it doesn't matter now, why would i...

He scoffed, yet he was still holding me to...

"I like watching you fall apart in my arms. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…but I have regretted it every time more than you can imagine. Especially the other night. I do not want to live with this regret anymore, malysh. It is killing me," he admitted, and I felt the pain in his words. He was honest, and while honesty was important to me, it also hurt. "Have mercy on me," he begged, his eyes pleading with me.

"Why do I crave you so bad? Why do I have this desire to be with you whenever you’re around? For you to make me orgasm the way you do? I want you inside me, and I know you want

to be there."

"Because it is not what I wanted!" he roared, spinning to face me. "I told you, I

did not want this, but you push, and push, and push until I break. I do everything I can to keep you away. I take you out of a meet, I am purposely mean to you, and yet you keep coming back. But then I see you need help and I cannot stop myself. Anything you want, I want to give you. I cannot not bend to your will. I wish I could, but I cannot. I do not understand what else I can do anymore. You are breaking a man. Do you not get that? You are breaking me," he bellowed with his hand to his chest, his eyes pleading with me to understand him.

"What about what happened in your office? That was all...

"Oh, but it is. It was all fun and games at first. I figured since Hayden found out it'd knocked some sense into you. Or when the bastard took you out of a competition, or when he fucks you bare then throws some Tic Tacs your way. How the hell do you know he doesn't have an STD? You don't. Nothing has gotten through your thick skull and it's only a matter of time until you're really screwed. You're lucky Hayden won't speak a word of it…yet. Mark my words, the next time you're caught will be worse. That's how it always happens, Aid. All the lies will catch up to you one day. The thorns will grow longer, and the vines will get so twisted you won't be able to walk out unscathed."

Coach: You make me crazy when I am around you. All I can think about is touching you.

Why can’t you ever just be open and honest about how you feel? How you act confuses the hell out of me. It hurts.

Coach: I never said I was perfect. Being misleading is easier because I cannot explain the shit that goes on in my head. Both sound recklessly accurate in that moment.

With Kova, I had this dark desire to always want to be his little vixen and attract all his attention. I'd do anything for it.

I took a risk for you. Now take a risk for me and drop every fear you have ever had. Go out there and be defiant. Refuse to lose.

again, "I believe in you." His cheeks turned a slight scarlet and his mouth twitched. His declaration, the faith padding each word, his undying devotion to me and the sport. It was all there. It gave me chills to have someone in my corner rallying behind me the way he was.

If he hadn't given me the courage I needed so desperately right before I went out on floor, I had a feeling we wouldn't be having the same conversation right now. It was in that moment that I realized how much I relied—and trusted—in him.

I'd been so close to stepping out of bounds. I almost lost it all because I had a moment of uncertainty and doubted myself. But Kova brought me back. He centered me and helped make my dream a reality, because he believed in me. I owed him so much.

"I do a lot because I enjoy doing it for you, not because I have to." He held up a pointer finger, a brow raised high. "Remember that. Also, stay off the internet. It is garbage."

I turned the page to write him a response but was surprised to find another entry from him. I will always be by your side, that is, if you will have me.

And she wondered why I loved gymnastics so much. With gymnastics, I could be who I wanted to be, not what she wanted me to be.

"How dare you hurt her like that," Dad said, danger coating his every word. "She's our daughter." "She's not my daughter and she never will be. I never wanted her. I can't stand her! She was your assistant's daughter! Your assistant who was a fucking loser, worthless,

and no good. All she had to do was spread her little virgin legs and you went running." She sneered and continued. "A loser who you paid off to keep her mouth shut and disappear. But I'm the loser, too, because you paid me to play house and pretend that Adrianna was mine, didn't you?"

"Why don't you tell your sister," she spat, "how you respected her friend so much that you got her pregnant. Why don't you tell Adrianna about you and Avery? About how I had to cover up your mess for this family and the Herons."

"About the abortion I paid for?" she spat with a bite. She still had fight in her. "And you want to talk

about respect?" Mom scoffed. "What a joke." She pointed at all of us. "You all are a joke with not an ounce of respect in any of you. You should be bowing down and kissing the ground I walk on for all I've done for you." She strode from the formal dining room without so much as a falter in her step, leaving us all speechless.

I was a liar just like them. Possibly the dirtiest with the most shameful secrets.

close to touching mine. "I need you Kova, I've never needed something so much in my life."

"I lost a little of myself this past week," I admitted so quietly. My heart was racing so fast.

"So did I, Ria… So did I."

And he was all in. If I hadn’t known any better, I'd say he was making love to me. Heartbreaking, soul-crushing lovemaking. The sheer desire and pain he emitted was devastating. If he could crawl inside me, I'd let him, just to take away his pain.

"By the way, I would find you anywhere." I tilted my head to the side in confusion. "You said you are going to move so I cannot show up whenever I wanted. Ria, I will always find you. You have a part of me that no one has ever had, as I do with you."

Kova had betrayed me. In this moment, I knew there was no way I could feel bad for him with how desolate I felt inside. There was no way, when he didn't give a shit about me.

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly feel any more pain than I did when I learned the truth about my mother, this topped it all. Kova destroyed me, and I was the stupid girl who let him.

God, the pain was so bad. I trusted him. I gave him everything and all he ever did was deceive me. Everything that came out of his beautiful mouth was a lie my heart held close. Lies were equivalent to breathing air for Kova. It was amazingly terrifying how much destruction one person could cause with the slip of a tongue.

Kova was sorry, because he knew, and he didn't tell me. He knew, and the worst part was that he took what I so freely gave…because I loved him. I loved Konstantin Kournakova.

I fell for this beautiful, Russian man, who slowly destroyed me, and I had no one to blame but myself.

Oh God. The reality that I loved him and what love caused me to do, shattered me completely. I believed everything he had said, I’d misread his touch, his kiss. While I thought he was expressing his love, he was actually breaking my heart. I lost myself to him and he took it. He didn't care about me. There was no way Kova cared about me, or he would've done something, anything, to prevent the agony tearing through me. He didn't want me, just like my mom didn't want me. I would never be enough for anyone.

"It will be okay, Aid, I promise," Hayden said softly, then he kissed the top of my head. "I promise to take your pain away. Let me take you away from here." I nodded and exhaled. We were a team, he had said. I exhale, and you inhale.

feeling. Of hurting. Of giving. I just wanted to release it all, and so I did…with Hayden. To